Notes: Takes place right when Bob joined MCR, they had just finished recording the "I'm Not Okay" video, and Gerard was first sober. Let's assume that during this time The Used were recording "In Love and Death" at John Feldmann's house in L.A., though my timeline may be a little off. Let's also assume that Bert and Gerard began dating as soon as they met and were still dating at this point. After this point I veer away from canon pretty drastically. Things happen off the real timeline, tours are invented, etc. Just go with me, if you would, please. Thanks for reading it.

They had just finished the last scene of the "I'm Not Okay" video and the crew was setting up the wrap party when Gerard went to change and found twelve missed calls on his phone from Bert.

"Gerard..." Bert said in lieu of a hello. "Are you...are you still clean?" He sniffled. "Because I maybe might need your help."

Gerard stopped with his costume tie halfway around his head. "Where are you?"

"I might need to get clean," Bert said. "And I might need....There are some guys here....and they seem to dislike me."

Gerard dashed out of the trailer and onto the school's green. "Where's Brian?" he shouted. He spotted Brian, wearing the bottom of his mascot costume and talking to Bob, and ran toward him. He caught up to him, panting hard, and thrust the phone at him.

"It's Bert," Gerard gasped out. "Something happened."

Brian's face went from casual-conversation-mode to bad-ass-manager-mode instantly, and Gerard felt mildly relieved just from this change of demeanor. "Call Jeph, Feldmann, and Quinn, in that order," he instructed Bob. He put the phone to his ear. "Bert, what's happened?" He frowned as he listened. "Hold on a minute." He put the phone to his shoulder and turned to Gerard. "Go change and pack whatever you consider to be clean clothes. We'll have a quick band meeting and then you and I are flying to L.A." He put the phone back to his ear. "Bert, give the phone to someone who knows the address where you're at."

By the time Gerard had gathered together his things, Brian had already herded Bob, Ray, Frank, and Mikey into one of the empty classrooms where they'd been filming. They sat on chairs as Brian stood at the front of the room.

"As you know," he began. "The Used are recording in L.A. with John Feldmann. They actually visited him a few times before any official work began, and it was during one of those early visits that Bert met a girl named Raisa. They dated briefly, and then lost touch, until Raisa's uncle tracked down Bert to inform him that Raisa had just given birth to a baby girl." Brian sighed and rubbed his face. "And to inform him that Raisa is fourteen."

The band exchanged worried looks.

"Wait; it gets worse," Brian said. "The whole family's Russian mafia, and they threatened some...very unpleasant things. After a long talk, they agreed not to press statutory rape charges or remove any of Bert's limbs if Bert took custody of the child. They're under the impression that he's a wealthy rock star and can give the child a better life than Raisa, who they're sending to private school in Russia."

"Bert's gonna have a baby?" Bob asked. "Bert doesn't have a fixed address. Bert doesn't even have a second pair of pants."

"But he has money from the first album, right?" Mikey asked. "He can rent a place, hire a nanny..."

Brian shook his head. "Quinn's father lost his job and all Quinn's money went to his family. Naturally, all Bert's money went to Quinn."

"Bert's living in a tent in John Feldmann's backyard," Bob said.

"And he's high all the time," Gerard added.

"They're done recording," Brian said. "I pulled some strings and we're gonna co-headline this next tour. I'm not sure how we'll manage it, but we have to help him."

Brian and Gerard took an overnight flight to L.A., where Jeph picked them up at the airport and filled them in on recent developments. John had found the hotel where the Russian mafia was keeping Raisa, and had taken Bert and the baby back to his place. Bert had a black eye, and had seemed shaken up, until he made it back to his tent. Jeph didn't know what he took, but it put him in a good mood.

John gave them a quick tour of his huge house, then led them out back where he pointed them towards the yellow two-man tent. Inside, Bert had the newborn baby lying on his sleeping bag, as he lay next to her, propped up on one elbow, his finger gripped in her tiny hand. When he saw Brian and Gerard at the tent's entrance, he smiled widely.

"This is my baby," he said in a loud whisper. "I named her David Bowie. After my dog."

Gerard bent down so he could get inside the tent, and pulled Bert into a one-armed hug. "She's beautiful," he said.

Bert reached out toward Brian and gestured for him to come in for a hug as well.

"Bert," Brian said firmly. "I love you like my brother. But there are some profoundly fucked-up things happening right now, and we need to talk."

"I'll watch Davi," Gerard said.

Bert pulled his finger out of the baby's grip and followed Brian outside the tent, where he pulled Brian into a big hug and kissed him on the mouth.

"Thank you," Brian said as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Bert, you can't raise a baby in a tent."

Bert considered this for a moment. "Native Americans did."

"And you can't give her a boy's name," Brian continued. "Especially if that boy is your deceased chihuahua."

"Also, the people in Oregon Trail."

"Also, you're high."

Bert pushed his hair to its proper place in front of his eye. "I got us another bus, for the tour. That way Davi'll have a safe place, you know?"

Brian frowned. "Who authorized another bus?"

"Craig from Reprise," Bert said. "I blew him once."

"Craig's married."

Bert grinned. "That's how we got the bus."

Gerard stepped out of the tent with Davi in his arms. "She's precious," he said. "Can I help take care of her?"

"Yeah, of course," Bert said, his eyes widening. "You're Uncle Gerard, man. You're like, second Daddy."

Brian let out a sigh so loud it seemed to have a physical effect on Bert.

"Bert," Brian said. "You can't just decide to raise a child. You need a crib, baby clothes, formula, diapers..." He trailed off, flustered. "A place to live."

"We'll be on tour for a couple months," Gerard said. "After that we can help Bert get a place." He turned to Bert. "I can even stay with you for a while." He turned to Brian. "And we can go buy all that stuff for Davi now, right Brian?"

"I got some formula from John," Bert said. "But I guess I'll need to stock up on baby stuff if we're going on tour."

"We'll buy it, right Brian?" Gerard said. He was doing that thing with his eyelashes that always ended up with Brian doing whatever Gerard wanted.

Brian put his hand over his eyes. "Fine, we'll go shopping. Give the baby to Bert." He looked up. "Bert, you know how to hold her?"

Bert easily took Davi into his arms, cradling her body and supporting her head. "Yeah, I got her. While you're gone I'm gonna teach her all the words to 'Prison'."

"She's two days old," Brian said. "Maybe we can leave the intricacies of anal rape for her first birthday."

Bert giggled and went back inside the tent.

Brian and Gerard borrowed John Feldmann's SUV and went to Wal-Mart, where they got a two months' supply of everything a baby would need, including a crib, carseat, baby monitor, toys, and even a collection of parenting books. It wasn't until they got up to the register that Brian noticed that Gerard had placed a tube of K-Y jelly, three packs of colored pencils, and eight scarves into the cart.

"It's a summer tour," Brian said, holding up a handful of scarves like a colorful octopus.

Gerard smiled. "They're all so pretty; I couldn't decide."

Brian sighed and let the scarves fall back into the cart.

Brian's next task was convincing Bert to temporarily move inside the house. John had two guest rooms, and was more than happy to let Brian, Gerard, Bert, and the baby stay there for the few days until the tour started. But Bert was attached to his tent, and after Brian and Gerard had moved all the baby supplies into the larger guest room, it took some arguing to convince him that Davi would be safest indoors.

Eventually he caved when Gerard put his arm around him and said, "Wouldn't it be nice to sleep in a bed?" in a tone of voice that suggested the two of them would be doing everything but sleeping in the bed.

Bert smiled with all his teeth.

After spending some time with John listening to tracks in the studio and putting together the crib, Bert placed Davi gently in the crib, stripped to his underwear, and got into the bed with Gerard.

Bert bit Gerard's chin. "You're wearing too many clothes."

Gerard reluctantly unbuttoned and removed his shirt, only to reveal a t-shirt underneath it. He looked over at the crib. "Do you think Davi knows what we're doing?"

Bert began undoing Gerard's pants as he kissed him softly on the lips. "She's two days," he said between kisses. "She barely knows how to poop."

Gerard kicked his pants off and they fell off the end of the bed. He kissed Bert once, deeply, then pulled back. "Did you mean it about getting clean too?"

"Yeah, totally," Bert said. "I already started." He leaned in to kiss Gerard's neck. "I'm clean except for weed and beer."

Gerard chuckled as Bert slid his thumbs under Gerard's underwear and took them off.

"The point is to get clean of everything," Gerard said.

Bert stilled. "Everything?" he said with a frown. He leaned forward and kissed Gerard. "Everything is a lot."

Gerard laughed against Bert's mouth. "We'll work on it."

Bert trailed kisses down Gerard's neck and gnawed at the collar of his shirt. "I should do it for Davi, right?" he mumbled through the cloth. He spit out the piece of shirt, leaving a damp circle on Gerard's neck. "I'd do it for you too," he whispered, and he licked his way up to Gerard's mouth.

"Do it for yourself," Gerard said, kissing him.

Bert chuckled softly as he moved down Gerard's body, grabbed hold of his hips, and took his dick into his mouth.

Gerard groaned softly. "I mean it," he panted out. "You have to want it for yourself."

Bert pulled his head back and stroked Gerard's dick with his hand. "You never stop talking, do you?"

Gerard pushed one hand through Bert's tangled hair as Bert went back to work with his mouth. "Sorry," Gerard whispered. He shuddered as Bert took him deep, and came embarrassingly fast, though Bert didn't seem to mind.

"I missed you," Gerard gasped out as he collapsed against the pillow.

Bert giggled. He slid out of his underwear and pressed his body against Gerard's, then kissed him. "You like tasting it, don't you?" he whispered between kisses. "You're so dirty."

Gerard grabbed the back of Bert's head and pulled him closer. "I am," he sighed. "Hey, wait." He put his hand on Bert's chest. "Let's do that thing you like."

"Yeah?" Even in the darkness, Bert's wide smile was unmistakable.

Gerard tossed the pillow to the side of the bed and arranged himself so that he was lying flat on his back. Bert straddled his chest, lazily stroking his dick, until Gerard gestured for him to move forward. Bert inched up his body until Gerard was able to take him into his mouth. Bert let out a long moan Gerard was sure Brian would be able to hear next door. Gerard put his hand on the base of Bert's dick to guide him, but he didn't have to; Bert was happy to do all the work, and was soon lying panting next to Gerard with one of his legs bent into an impossible position under his body.

"Damn," Bert gasped.

Gerard rolled onto his side. "Do you ever think about robot clones?"

"No, and stop being weird." Bert rolled over to face him.

Gerard nodded toward the crib. "It'll suck when she's like four, right? And she can tell what's going on? We'll need a babysitter every time we want to do stuff."

"Nah, we'll just get her her own room and a baby monitor," Bert said.

"Assuming that by then we're not still homeless."

Bert licked his finger and dabbed it on Gerard's nose. "You really gonna stick around that long?"

Gerard raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Until we're not homeless?"

"Until she's four."

Gerard smacked Bert's shoulder lightly. "I thought I was second Daddy, man. I'm in this for the long haul."

Before Bert had a chance to respond, Davi started crying softly. "I got her," Bert said as he rolled out of bed. He picked her up. "Ah," he said. "Apparently she does know how to poop."

"Need help?" Gerard asked.

Bert shook his head. "I used to change my little sister's diaper." He expertly removed and disposed of the diaper, located the baby wipes in the pile of Wal-Mart bags, and had the now-quiet Davi in a fresh diaper in a matter of minutes. He carried her to the bed, lay down, and placed her gently between himself and Gerard.

"So what do you think?" Bert whispered. "She's gonna be a singer, right? Even her crying's in tune."

Gerard tapped one of Davi's tiny hands until it wrapped around his index finger. "I think she's gonna surprise everyone," he said. "And end up like, an astronaut, or a physicist."

Bert snorted. "No kid with half my DNA is gonna end up an astronaut." He touched Davi's other fist, and she naturally gripped his finger. "You teach her how to draw, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll teach her how to spit really far."

"A valuable life skill."

Bert yawned. "You teach her how to put on make-up, and I'll teach her how to play the piano."

Gerard reached out and touched Bert's shoulder. "It's dangerous to sleep in the bed with them."

"I know." Bert pushed himself up.

Gerard kissed Davi's forehead. "Goodnight, Davi girl."

Bert brought her back to her crib, where he kissed her and said, "I love you, Davi."

When he got back into bed, Gerard wrapped one arm around Bert and rested his head against Bert's shoulder. "You're gonna be a good dad," he whispered.

Bert placed his hand against Gerard's chest and closed his eyes. "I'm gonna fuck this up so much." He kissed the top of Gerard's head. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too," Gerard whispered.

The next day was busy with pre-tour planning, and Brian was glued to his cell phone, making arrangements to move everyone plus bags of baby supplies to the hotel where the buses were going to be. The rest of MCR were flying in that day and would be at the hotel already, while Gerard and The Used would have to be moved out of John Feldmann's before noon. They were just finishing up breakfast when The Used tour manager, Chris, walked into the dining room and announced that Quinn was missing.

"Nah, he's at that girl's house," Bert said through a mouthful of pancakes. Next to him, Davi's carseat sat on a chair, and she quietly took in the scene around her.

"What girl?" Brandon asked.

"The one with the hair," Jeph said.

"The red hair or the blue hair?" John asked.

Brian got up from the table and walked over to Chris. "Chris," he said. "We have to be at the hotel by one p.m. tomorrow at the latest. That means bands, techs, equipment, everything."

"Relax; it'll happen," Chris said. "Why are you so worried anyway? Isn't Larry tour managing for you?"

Brian bit down on his lower lip. "Larry has appendicitis. And we have a baby on the tour. I'm coming along."

"You're coming on tour with us?" Gerard shouted from over at the table. "That's so awesome, Brian. It'll be like the old days!"

Brian turned around and smiled at him. "The old days were horrible, Gerard. We lived out of a van, everyone was drunk, and Frank almost died three times."

Gerard waved one hand in front of him and whispered, "It was magical."

Having completely cleared his plate, Bert belched loudly and announced, "Bottle time!" before picking up Davi and carrying her into the kitchen.

Gerard's cell phone rang. It was Ray.

"Hey Ray!" Gerard greeted him cheerfully. "Quick question: Do you ever think about robot clones?"

"All the time," Ray said. "But listen, I have to run something by you. You and Bert have your own bus now, right? Because of his kid?"

"Right."

"My little sister Kelly's sixteen, and she's been bugging me to bring her to an out-of-town show for a while," Ray explained. "So I was thinking, I could bring her along for the whole tour. She could take your bunk in the regular bus, and then babysit for you whenever you need. She's had tons of experience with kids; she could get you references -"

"Yeah, that would be great," Gerard said. "I know Kelly. She used to babysit my cousin."

"Everyone in Jersey's your cousin," Ray said with a chuckle.

"You already tell Brian or you want me to?"

"I'm calling him next," Ray said.

Gerard glanced over at the far corner of the dining room, where Brian was talking on the phone and waving one hand wildly. "Maybe wait like an hour."

Quinn finally showed up around dark, when most of the group was sitting around the television watching the raw video C.W. had taken of the recording of "In Love and Death". Bert had Davi in his arms, and was pointing past her at the TV saying, "Look, baby! It's daddy puking." John paused the video when he heard the door open, and Bert handed Davi off to Gerard. "You mind, G?"

"Little Davi girl!" Gerard said, giving her a big smile.

Bert rushed to meet Quinn in the entranceway, where they exchanged hugs and something that looked like it was halfway between kissing and whispering into each other's mouths. Bert put his arm around Quinn and led him into the living room. Quinn, visibly drunk, stumbled over the carpeting and held onto Bert tightly to stay upright.

Quinn looked up and smiled. "Hi everyone," he said.

"Quinn, you ready to go by noon tomorrow?" Brian asked.

Jeph chuckled. "With Quinn, you're lucky to see him by two."

Bert pulled him into a two-armed hug. "He'll be ready. I'll jump on his face if I have to." He stomped the ground once to demonstrate, then patted the side of Quinn's face. "Don't worry; you'll still be pretty."

"I have to go throw up," Quinn replied.

Bert held his arm out in the direction of the bathroom, and Quinn quickly made his way out of the room.

Gerard stood up. "Will you take her back?"

"Sure." Bert took Davi into his arms and resumed his place in front of the television. "Now we'll see Daddy sing some songs, and then..." He turned to C.W. "What happens next?"

"You puke some more," C.W. responded.

The bathroom door was ajar, so Gerard walked in without knocking. Quinn was leaning over and spitting into the toilet. When he heard Gerard enter, he flushed and looked up.

"Hey," Quinn said.

"Hey." Gerard tried to lean against the wall casually. "So Davi's amazing, huh?"

Quinn smiled. "Yeah, she's adorable." He rinsed off his face and dried it on the hand towel.

"So Bert's talking about getting clean because of her," Gerard said.

Quinn nodded. "He told me yesterday he was off the hard stuff."

"Yeah, but he should be off all the stuff, right?" Gerard asked.

Quinn put his hands in his pants pockets. "Look, Gerard, I know you're just trying to help. But I was watching Bert detox from meth when you were still in New York drawing Spongebob or whatever." He shrugged. "Bert has a lot of problems, but he's a good guy. He'll take care of that baby better than anyone expects; you'll see."

"I know he will," Gerard said quickly. "But I think he needs to be clean to do it."

"Maybe we'll smoke a blunt now and again, and maybe he'll have a beer or two, but that's nothing to him. That's just what he needs to function some days."

"And how long until a blunt or two turns into meth again?" Gerard asked.

Quinn shook his head. "You're filled with all this twelve-step bullshit right now and it'll just fuck him up. Don't get on his ass about this. It won't end well."

Gerard stood up straight and tried to sound firm. "It would help if you didn't get drunk in front of him."

Quinn sighed. "Someday, Gerard, I'm gonna understand why Bert loves you." He walked up to Gerard and gave him a one-armed hug. "Not today, man." He walked out of the bathroom.

That night, just as Bert and Gerard got into bed, Davi started crying. Bert held her, walked around the room with her, and sang "Blue and Yellow" to her. Though she quieted down a few times, she would start up again as soon as Bert set her down in the crib.

"Let me try," Gerard said, climbing out of bed. "You should get some sleep."

Bert handed over the baby. "I'm okay."

Gerard paced the length of the room with Davi, and sang everything from lullabies he remembered his grandmother singing to him to half of MCR's repertoire, but as soon as he stopped moving and approached the crib she'd start crying again.

Bert was watching, curled up on the bed with his hands under the pillow, looking impossibly small. "We could give her another bottle."

"I'll get it." Gerard set Davi down on the bed next to Bert, and went into the kitchen to get a bottle. When he returned, both Bert and Davi were fast asleep on the bed. Gerard carefully lifted Davi into the crib, holding his breath and praying she wouldn't wake up, and when he placed her down she remained silent. Gerard crawled into bed and pressed himself against Bert's sleeping form.

Even though they weren't set to depart until noon, Brian insisted on having everyone up and eating by nine a.m. A crying Davi woke up Gerard and Bert and eight, so they were the first at the table. They were done eating John's waffles and giving Davi her bottle by the time Brandon, Jeph, Chris, and all the crew and techs arrived. Quinn was the last to show up, coming downstairs only because Brian threatened to cut his hair if he didn't get out of bed. Quinn took the chair next to Bert, leaned his head against his shoulder, and immediately fell asleep.

Everyone else in the group was buzzing with energy for the upcoming tour. The conversation noise reached such a level that Davi began getting fussy, so Bert took her out to the backyard. After finishing his third cup of coffee, Gerard followed, and found Bert in the garden singing a modified version of "Sound Effects and Overdramatics" as he held Davi on his shoulder.

"Is it okay of I smoke?" Gerard asked.

Bert nodded and took a few steps backwards. "Just stay over there until you're done."

Gerard lit a cigarette and took a drag. "Is that song about me?"

Bert smiled. "All my songs are about you."

"Except for the one about your dog."

Bert made a sad face.

Gerard took another hit of his cigarette. "And the ten songs about Quinn."

"All right, all right," Bert said. "But Sound Effects, Take It Away, and Cut Up Angels are totally about you."

"You'll have to show me the lyrics later," Gerard said. "Isn't Cut Up Angels the one about choking someone with your dick?"

Bert lifted up Davi so he could see her face and cooed, "It's about choking someone with your dick because you looooove them."

"You're so romantic," Gerard said as he exhaled out his nose.

"I shouldn't tell her about dick," Bert said thoughtfully. "Boys are very very gross," he said to her. "They smell bad and have syphilis and you should grow up to be a lesbian."

A few minutes later Brian came outside to herd them back inside, where everyone was finding whatever transportation they could to get to the hotel. There were some heartfelt goodbyes with John and his family, and a few panicked conferences between Brian and Chris, but soon the cars were all packed and they were pulling into the back parking lot of a Marriot, where six huge tour buses awaited them. The rest of MCR emerged soon after they arrived, and Gerard took Davi around to meet everyone.

"She's the cutest thing ever," Frank gushed.

"Yeah, I can't believe she shares DNA with Bert," Ray said.

They all looked over to the opposite side of the parking lot, where Bert was licking Quinn's face. He then shouted out something to one of the techs, and then did a standing backflip.

"This should end well," Mikey muttered.

Bob nudged him slightly. "Nah, Bert's all right. He'll take care of her."

"And you're taking care of her too, huh?" Frank put his arm around Gerard's shoulder, and Gerard adjusted himself so he could still hold onto Davi with both arms. "We'll miss you in the bus. Who am I gonna sleep-hump?"

"You can hump Bob," Gerard suggested.

"Thanks," Bob said to Gerard.

Frank pointed at Gerard threateningly. "I'll get you on stage."

Gerard smiled. "I am the king of stage gay, and you can never even dream of surpassing me." Davi made a gurgling noise, and Gerard leaned down to speak directly to her. "I have eight new scarves. No one can out-gay Uncle Gerard."

Brian approached them. "Bus call's in an hour, so start packing up. And you!" He pointed at Gerard. "You and Bert both need to be bathed before you get on that bus." He handed him a key card.

Gerard sighed. "I just took a shower on Tuesday."

"And it's Monday," Brian put his hand on Gerard's shoulder. "Gerard, I love you like a brother, but you smell like ass. Get moving."

Gerard said goodbye to his bandmates and made his way over to where the members of The Used were standing. Bert held his arms out and Gerard handed over the baby.

"Brian says we have to take a shower," Gerard said sadly.

"That's awesome," Bert replied a little too loudly. "We can fuck in the shower."

"I can take Davi," Brandon offered.

"Thanks," Bert said as he held her out carefully. "Her car seat's over in John's car if you want it."

As Gerard and Bert made their way to the hotel entrance, they passed Brian, who called out, "Shampoo, boys. Do you hear me?"

The room must've been used the previous night by someone else in MCR, but it was relatively clean and there were still clean towels on the rack. Bert stripped naked immediately and began humming a tune as he turned on the shower and adjusted the water temperature.

Gerard removed his socks. "What song is that?"

Bert turned to him and smiled. "I just wrote it. It's called We're Gonna Fuck In The Shower and it goes like this." He swayed his hips back and forth in a silly dance. "We're gonna fuck in the shower. We're gonna fuck in the shower. We're gonna fuck in the shower." He scurried over to where Gerard was standing and grabbed the waist of his pants. "Come on and get naked. You can have stupid body image issues tomorrow."

"I do not have stupid body image issues," Gerard mumbled as he reluctantly took off his clothes.

Bert was already in the shower, soaping himself down. He took the miniature bottle of shampoo off the ledge and emptied the entire thing into his hands.

"We're gonna fuck in the shower," Bert sang as he spread most of the shampoo over the top of Gerard's head before Gerard even had a chance to get wet. He took what remained and ran it through his own hair.

Gerard spit out a bit of shampoo bubbles that had gotten into his mouth. "I don't think we have the time for fully penetrative sex."

Bert leaned his head back to rinse out his shampoo. "Oh, Gerard. I love it when you talk technical to me." He flipped his hair forward, spraying Gerard with water. "Do we have time for fingerlateral handeriffic stimulation?"

Gerard grabbed Bert by his soapy shoulders and pulled him closer. "Shut the fuck up," he said, and he kissed him.

Two hand-jobs and a half-assed scrub down later, Bert and Gerard returned to the parking lot. Everyone seemed to be busy packing their buses, and after Bert retrieved Davi from Brandon, they went to inspect their new bus.

It was a standard tour bus, with a kitchenette, and front and back lounge area. But in the bunk area, one wall of bunks had been removed and replaced with shelves, presumably to make room for the crib. Brian had already moved their bags, the crib, and the Wal-Mart bags of baby stuff to the side of the bus. Bert put Davi in her carseat and set her down on the couch as they moved all their belongings inside the bus. It got tedious fast, which prompted Bert to create verses to his new hit, "We're Gonna Fuck In The Shower".

"Tiny room, just four walls / Wash my hair, wash my balls," Bert sang as he unpacked toys and clothes onto Davi's shelves. "Shampoo in noses, makes me sick / Maybe G will touch my dick. We're gonna fuck in the shower. We're gonna fuck in the shower. We're gonna fuck in the shower."

Gerard put down the boxes of formula and random snack foods he was sorting in the kitchen and walked into the bunk area. He put his arms around Bert from the back and bit him affectionately on the ear.

"Like my song?" Bert asked.

Gerard kissed Bert's shoulder. "This is gonna be great."

"Yeah," Bert agreed. He placed a pink plush elephant on one of the shelves.

Davi started crying just as they were scheduled to leave. Bert gave her a bottle, but she wouldn't eat, and she didn't need to be changed.

Brian stopped by to let them know the buses were heading out, and frowned at Bert. "Is she okay?"

"Just fussy," Bert said, but he sounded concerned.

Brian nodded. "Call me if she gets worse. And make sure to check her temperature."

"We will," Gerard said from where he was pacing just behind Bert.

As soon as the bus started moving, Davi fell asleep, and remained asleep even when Bert placed her in her crib. "It's the vibrations of the bus," he whispered.

Gerard leaned over the side of the crib to look at her. "She's beautiful," he whispered.

Bert grabbed Gerard's wrist and led him out of the room. "Let's enjoy the silence."

Gerard sat at the kitchen table and drew in his sketchbook, while Bert stretched out on the couch and began reading one of the parenting books. After a little while Gerard got up to get some water bottles, handed one to Bert, and they continued in silence. After some more time had passed, Gerard tore a sheet out of his sketchbook, got up, and put it in front of Bert's book.

"This is you," Gerard said. "Lying on the couch. With tentacles."

"Awesome," Bert said. He got to his feet and hugged Gerard. "Do one of Davi."

"I'm doing a whole book for Davi," Gerard told him as they sat down on the couch together. "It's a story about a baby princess who has to save the world from a giant frog that's a metaphor for globalization."

Bert frowned. "You'll make her afraid of frogs."

"I'll make her afraid of globalization." Gerard placed Bert's picture on the small table beside the couch. "As she should be."

"You're a weirdo and I love it." Bert tackled Gerard until they were both lying lengthwise on the couch.

"Ow," Gerard said through his laughter. "There's a book digging into my pancreas."

Bert pulled the parenting book out from under him and threw it on the floor. He rubbed his crotch against Gerard's ass. "Do you know babies' intelligence can be tied to the number of words they hear?" he said. "So we should read to Davi a lot."

"We'll get some books at our next stop," Gerard said. "I want to go to an art supply store too."

Bert continued rubbing himself against Gerard, while simultaneously licking Gerard's neck. Gerard hummed in approval and turned his head to kiss Bert.

"You wanna fuck me?" Gerard whispered.

Bert's eyebrows raised. "The last time we did that we were shitfaced drunk."

"I'm sure they haven't changed it." Gerard nodded toward the floor. "There's lube in one of those bags."

Bert got up and rifled through the shopping bags until he found the tube of K-Y. "We should go to the bunks," he said. "In case she wakes up."

They moved back to the bunk area and checked on Davi, who was still sleeping soundly. They crawled into the bottom bunk and Bert resumed his movements, rubbing against Gerard's ass while panting and nipping at his neck.

"You are such a horndog," Gerard chuckled.

They struggled to get out of their pants in the cramped space. Bert spread some lube on his index finger and pushed it inside Gerard. Gerard responded by taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a soft moan.

"Okay?" Bert whispered.

"Go ahead."

After liberally applying more lube, Bert rubbed his dick a few times and slowly guided it in. Gerard reached back and gripped Bert's thigh.

"Okay?" Bert repeated.

"Just go slow."

Bert moved in a slow and steady rhythm, but his heavy breathing betrayed the effect it was having on him. He pressed his forehead into Gerard's upper back and choked out a moan.

"It's you," Bert whispered, his voice strained.

"Me what?" Gerard panted out.

Bert put his hands on Gerard's hips. "Makes me a horndog. The way you are, how you look, how you feel." He took in a deep breath through his nose. "How you smell." He ran his hand up Gerard's side and under his shirt. "Everything about you makes my dick hard."

Gerard let out a low moan and put his hand on his own dick.

After a fair amount of thrusting and rubbing, Bert put his mouth to Gerard's ear, licked it, and said, "Can you come first?"

"Yeah," Gerard breathed out. He squeezed his eyes shut, sped up his hand motions, and gasped as he came on his stomach.

The tightness of his body pushed Bert over the edge, and he made a sound somewhere between screaming and crying as he dug his fingers into Gerard's skin and came inside him.

It took a moment for both of them to have the mental capacity to pull apart from each other. Gerard got up and went into the bathroom to clean off, then returned to the bed and collapsed in Bert's arms, his face pressed into Bert's neck.

"You okay?" Bert asked.

Gerard nodded. "That was good."

Bert put his arm around him. "This is gonna be a good tour."

The two bands were co-headlining the tour, with an up-and-coming band called The Grilled Cheese Experiment, who were a fun group of kids with a female guitarist, Melissa, and female singer, Mira. Bert came on stage with MCR for "Prison" every night, and Gerard joined The Used a few times for "Buried Myself Alive." Kelly watched Davi throughout the shows, with Brian occasionally relieving her so she could watch a set. After the shows, the bands and techs split into The Used's party bus and Brandon's sober bus, with a steady stream of visitors coming to coo over Davi.

But Bert and Gerard were usually left alone relatively early in the evenings, when Davi was getting too fussy for company. Gerard got a lot of work done on his potential comic book plus what turned into a collection of bound children's books for Davi. Bert read all the parenting and baby books Brian had gotten them, played some video games, and composed some lullabies for Davi on a portable keyboard.

One morning Gerard walked in from the kitchen with his cup of coffee to find Bert playing her a song and said, "Your band's gonna be pissed if the next album is all songs about how you love your baby."

Bert smiled up at him. "I also have one about how much I want to kill that security guard from Atlanta, and one about fucking you in the ass."

"Nice variety," Gerard replied. He reached into Davi's crib and patted her stomach.

"Don't do that," Bert said as he put his keyboard away under the bunk. "She just spit up."

They heard the door of the bus open and Brian entered. "How's our little girl?"

"Puking," Bert said as he stood up so Brian could access the crib. "Next comes loud music and sex."

Brian tapped Davi's nose and smiled at her. "You have an interview in half an hour with the local radio station. Under the tent. I'll watch Davi."

Bert started walked out of the room. "I wanna see if Quinn can come. I'll meet you there."

Gerard nodded and took another sip of his coffee.

When he got to the tent where the radio station's van was set up, Bert wasn't there yet. Gerard had a cigarette and made small talk with the interviewer, Ben, a friendly guy in his thirties who loved classic rock. Ten minutes later Bert arrived, without Quinn, reeking of weed.

"Nice to meet you, Bert," Ben said, shaking his hand. "Let's get started." He motioned to the tech handling the recordin equipment. "So I hear The Used and My Chemical Romance are good friends."

"We're close," Gerard said.

"We're all great friends," Bert said. "It's like a traveling gypsy clan of love here."

"What about The Grilled Cheese Experiment?" Ben asked.

"They're great," Bert said. "Mira can drink bubble mix and blow bubbles out her nose. We love her."

"Now Bert, what about this rumor about you having a child?" Ben asked.

Bert nodded. "Her name's Davi, short for David Bowie. She's three months old and she's the most beautiful baby in the world."

"Is her mother in the picture?"

"Unfortunately she had to go away to school," Bert explained. "But I got my best friend Gerard here to help me out, and we're doing okay."

He asked a few more questions about the cities they'd been to and the set list, and then the interview was over. Ben shook their hands again and turned into his van to speak to his sound tech.

Gerard grabbed Bert by the wrist and walked him a few steps away before speaking. "Are you high?"

Bert shrugged. "I get nervous doing this shit. It helps."

"What happened to being clean for Davi?"

"It's just a little pot. It's not like I'm shooting up. I'm fine." He started walking back toward the buses.

"Bert," Gerard said as he fell into step beside him. "I know about the drinking."

"I just drink before shows," Bert said. "Davi's not even around then."

"It's the principle," Gerard argued. "You're an addict. You need to get help."

"Gerard, I'm not you."

Gerard put his hand on Bert's shoulder, stopping him. "When the tour's over, will you come to a meeting with me?"

Bert smiled. "If it'll make you happy." He hugged Gerard. "I'll go; it's not a big deal."

"Thanks," Gerard said, running his hand down his back.

On the last night of the tour, there was a free-for-all, with Bert and Jeph playing with The Grilled Cheese Experiment's set, Bert spending half of MCR's set on stage, and Frank and Ray jamming on a couple of The Used songs. When the show was over, Gerard spent some time talking to Mira about touring together again. Then he went back to his bus, where he found Bert panicked, with Davi in his arms.

"I'm sorry; I didn't notice," Kelly was saying. "She seemed fine."

"She has a fever," Bert said to Gerard. "It's 101. We have to take her to the hospital." His eyes were wet.

"It's okay," Gerard said, putting his arm around him. "Kelly, go get Brian. Ask him to bring his car around."

Kelly ran out of the bus.

"She's not crying," Gerard said, running his hand over Davi's face. "That's a good sign, right?"

Bert sniffled and shook his head. "Babies under three months are more susceptible to infection."

"She's like, three months and a week." Gerard hugged him, careful not to crush the baby between them. "She'll be okay. We'll go to the hospital and she'll be fine."

Brian showed up quickly, and they wrapped Davi in a blanket and put her in her carseat. The nearest hospital was just a few minutes away, and soon they were standing in the Emergency Room, with Brian speaking quietly to the admitting nurse, Gerard pacing, and Bert holding Davi with tears in his eyes.

It wasn't long before another nurse approached them, her attention immediately drawn to Davi. "She's young for such a high fever."

"Will she be okay?" Bert asked.

"We'll have a doctor in to see you right away," the nurse said, and she gestured for Bert to follow him. The nurse noticed Gerard following as well and stopped walking. "Immediate family only," she said.

"No, he has to come," Bert argued.

"When it's a possible infection -" the nurse began.

"He's her father too," Bert said, the volume of his voice rising. "We're together. We're a couple. There's got to be some sort of arrangement -"

The nurse put her hand on Bert's arm. "Of course, sir. But if we have to move you into the ICU he may not be able to join you."

The nurse led them to a bed in a curtained-off area and handed them a packet of paperwork to fill out. Gerard took it and began filling in the information while Bert stood over Davi and stared at her. After just a few minutes a doctor entered.

"Hi there," she said. "I'm Dr. Johnson. This must be..." she took the paperwork from Gerard and clipped it to the chart at the bottom of the bed. "David McCracken?"

"We call her Davi," Bert said, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

Dr. Johnson looked at the form. "Bert?" She shook his hand, then held it out to Gerard.

"Gerard," he said.

"It's nice to meet you. Mind if I take a look?" She moved closer to Davi, looked her over, and took her temperature. "Any cough, vomiting, crying, diarrhea?"

"No," Bert said.

"Any trouble breathing?"

"No."

"I'll be right back," the doctor said.

Gerard moved forward and put his arm around Bert.

Dr. Johnson re-entered with an oral syringe filled with clear liquid. "This is children's acetominophen. It should bring her fever down." She opened Davi's mouth and injected the medicine. "I'm going to check back with you in a half hour and see if it's helped."

Bert nodded, but the look on his face betrayed his worry.

"She should be fine," the doctor continued. "With the absence of other symptoms, it's likely it's nothing more severe than a simple fever."

"Thank you," Gerard said.

The doctor left the room, and Bert let out a breath. He returned to Davi's side and started gently rubbing her forehead.

"She'll be okay," Gerard said, moving beside him.

"I know," Bert whispered.

A half hour later Davi's temperature was almost normal, and Dr. Johnson discharged them with a sample of children's acetominophen in case the fever came back. By then Brian had been joined in the waiting room by Quinn, Frank, and Jeph. Frank gave Gerard a heartfelt hug. Gerard noticed that Quinn, after hugging Bert and Davi, placed something in his hand. Bert's hand went to his pocket, and then to his mouth, and he visibly swallowed something.

Gerard went up to Bert. "Let me hold her."

"I got her," Bert said.

"At least put her in the car seat."

Bert eyed him suspiciously. "Of course I'm putting her in the car seat."

Gerard shook his head. "Sorry, I'm just...after everything..."

Bert pulled him into a one-armed hug. "I know."

Chris had held the buses for them, and as soon as everyone was back in theirs the buses took off. Bert checked Davi's temperature again, and then put her in her crib to sleep. When he walked into the front lounge Gerard was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"What did you take?" Gerard asked.

Bert sat down next to him and leaned against his shoulder. "What?"

"I saw Quinn give you something." Gerard put his arm around Bert. "I'm not like, mad or anything."

Bert sighed. "It was just a Xanax. To calm me down. Perfectly legal."

"It's legal when a doctor prescribes it to you."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Gerard," Bert moaned out.

"And what's in your pocket?"

"Seroquel," Bert said. "It helps me sleep when I'm wound up."

Gerard tightened his arm and Bert buried his face in his shoulder.

"Okay?" Bert said.

"Okay."

They slept most of the way to L.A., waking up in shifts whenever Davi cried for a bottle or diaper change. When they got to the Mariott in L.A., Brian and Chris came into the bus to wake them up.

"I got you a hotel room until you can find a place to rent," Brian said, handing Gerard a key card.

"And I got you an advance on album profits," Chris said, handing Bert an envelope.

Brian leaned down to put his hand on Gerard's shoulder. "The guys are all outside, to help you move all your baby stuff."

Gerard hugged each of the managers and thanked them profusely, and Bert gave each of them a sloppy kiss on the lips, though neither seemed to appreciate it.

The two bands moved all of Davi's things into the hotel room effortlessly. Then it was time for some to crash in their own hotel rooms, while others were hurrying to make flights back home. Everyone hugged, wished each other luck, and took extra time to hug and kiss Davi. Gerard hugged Mikey extra long, until Mikey had to fight his way out of the embrace, mumbling, "You'll be back soon to visit, fuck, Gerard."

It was nighttime, but Gerard and Bert had already slept too much, so after giving Davi a bottle and settling her down in her crib, they used Gerard's laptop to look at rental properties online.

"I need at least four bedrooms," Bert said, inching his chair closer to Gerard so he could rest his head on his shoulder. "One for us, one for Davi, one for you to have a studio, and one for when Quinn comes to visit."

Gerard chuckled. "You might as well buy a house." He clicked through a few more pages. "Actually at these prices, it might be cheaper to buy a house." He sighed and rubbed his face. "I'm going to die without coffee. You want some?"

"Grab me a soda?" Bert slid in front of the computer and looked at some of the rentals Gerard had been looking at, but he was quickly bored. He opened up a new window, went to Google, and typed in "Bert McCracken has a huge dick".

Sadly, there we no websites set up in honor of his huge dick, but on the bottom of the search page he found a link titled, "The Used's Bert McCracken in Gay Relationship". He clicked on it:

"The Used's frontman Bert McCracken was recently spotted at a Nevada hospital with his infant daughter Davi and My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way. While little Davi's illness was not severe, McCracken insisted that Way be allowed into the examining room, stating, 'We're a couple.' The two 'best friends' have been inseparable since the bands first began touring together years ago, and frequently appear onstage together."

There was a comments section underneath the brief article, with anonymous posts ranging from supportive congratulations to angry denials to gay slurs. Bert had just began scanning them when Gerard returned with his coffee and a Pepsi for Bert.

"What's that?" Gerard asked.

Bert scrolled up to the top of the page so he could read it. While they'd never had a formal agreement about their relationship, there had been a drunken conversation during one of their first make-out sessions, where Bert insisted they not be exclusive, and Gerard asked that they not kiss in front of cameras, following his request with a long speech about how his sexuality should not get in the way of his musical message, which Bert didn't listen to at all, and eventually Bert went down on him just so he'd shut up.

"This isn't particularly good," Gerard muttered. "But it's a gossip blog, not mainstream media, so probably no one will pay attention to it."

"Should I call Brian?" Bert asked.

Gerard shook his head. "It's late. I'll e-mail him." He sat down at the computer and copied the article's URL.

"I'm sorry," Bert muttered.

Gerard leaned over to kiss him softly. "Not your fault. Hell, I mimed oral sex on you onstage in Denver; it was gonna come out eventually." He shrugged as he finished his e-mail and clicked Send. "In a way, it's a good thing. It'll help a lot of confused kids, you know?"

Bert put his arm around him. "Weirdo."

Gerard went back to the real estate page, and switched to houses for sale. "There are some nice places near John's house."

They stayed up most of the night looking at houses online, then tried to get some sleep, only to be woken up by Davi at 8 a.m. Gerard drank an entire pot of coffee while calling around to realtors, finally finding one he approved of who could show them some houses that same day.

"The realtor'll be here to pick us up in an hour," Gerard said, standing up. "We should look nice."

Bert looked down at his ripped t-shirt and shorts. "We haven't done laundry since Memphis," he said.

Gerard picked up one of his sweatshirts and sniffed it. "This shouldn't smell so bad," he said thoughtfully. He looked up at Bert. "What did we do to this shirt?"

They dug through their bags, managed to find two shirts that didn't smell bad, and then sprayed each other down with the Lysol they found in the bathroom. There was just enough time to change Davi and give her a quick bath before the realtor was knocking on the hotel room door.

"Gerard," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Amy Plainfield."

"Hi," Gerard said. "This is Bert, and our daughter Davi."

"Aren't you adorable?" Amy said to Davi.

"Let me just get her in the carseat," Bert said.

Gerard picked up the baby bag with her extra diapers and bottles. "I got the bag."

Amy led them to her car, where Bert strapped the carseat down in the back and sat next to Davi, and Gerard took the front seat. "I have some great properties to show you," Amy said. "And it's a good buyer's market right now."

Bert held out an envelope from the back seat. "All the money I have is in this envelope," he said.

Gerard pushed his hand back. "We may need to stop at a bank for him."

Amy nodded. "And after I show you a few places we'll stop by my office to see what we can get you approved for. We have a great broker on staff. Is the house going in both your names?"

Gerard looked back at Bert. Bert shrugged.

"That's kind of a big step," Gerard said.

"You do have a child together, don't you?" Amy asked.

"That was kind of an accident," Gerard told her.

"Yeah, I accidentally forgot a rubber when I fucked him in the ass," Bert said, and collapsed into laughter.

Gerard gave him a dirty look. "I just mean...we don't even share cigarettes."

"Because you smoke those 100s," Bert said. "And they make me feel gay."

"I thought you were gay," Amy said.

"That's a good point," Bert replied. He kicked Gerard's seat. "Gimme a cigarette."

Gerard ignored him.

The first two houses they saw were too small for Bert's tastes, and the third was obviously out of their price range. The forth was perfect - a four-bedroom with a finished basement and a big backyard. Bert loved it.

"It's perfect," he said as they drove from the house to the realtor's office. "You could draw in that room that gets all the sun, and we could jam in the basement."

"You're an artist?" Amy asked Gerard.

"Just part-time," Gerard said. "Really I'm a musician. So is Bert."

"Have I heard of your music?" Amy asked.

"Gerard sings the 'I'm Not Okay' song," Bert called out from the backseat. "And I'm the guy who pukes onstage."

"Oh," Amy said.

When they got to the realtor's office, Bert handed his envelope to the broker, a middle-aged man named Ethan.

"This is more than enough for the down payment and closing costs on that property," Ethan said. "But we will need some bank statements, tax returns, and proof of employment." He held his pen over a form. "Could I have your last few addresses please?"

"Um..." Bert said. "I lived in a bus. Before that, a tent. Before that, Quinn's house."

"Job history?"

"I'm in The Used," Bert said. "Before that I worked at Subway."

Gerard's cell phone rang. "It's Brian. He'll know what to do." He stood up and walked away as he answered the phone.

Ethan folded his hands in front of him. "What exactly is it you do, Mr. McCracken?"

Bert looked down to check on Davi in her carseat before answering. "I'm a musician."

"Really?" Ethan said. "I love music. What type?"

"Well, I scream a lot," Bert said.

"Scream?"

"Like this," Bert said, and he belted out the first few lines of "Maybe Memories": "As we trudge along through the mud / And we tried to call it home / But we weren't alright, not at all / Not for one for one for one second."

Several people in nearby cubicles stood up to look over at them. Davi started crying.

Bert lifted her out of the carseat and held her in his arms. "I usually do acoustic versions for her." He rocked her back and forth whispering, "As we trudge along through the mud..." She quieted down quickly.

Gerard walked over with the phone still open in his hand. "This is my manager, who used to be Bert's manager, and he has Craig from Reprise on the line."

Ethan took the phone.

"Tell Craig I love his cock," Bert called out.

"Pretend to be normal," Gerard said. He took Davi from Bert so Bert could go out for a smoke. When he came back in, Ethan was off the phone.

"Good news," Ethan said. "Reprise is co-signing your mortgage. Since you don't have much of a credit history and no guaranteed income, this will make the process much smoother."

"That's awesome," Gerard said. "So Bert can get the house?"

Bert grinned. "I owe Craig another blow job."

They stayed in the hotel for another two weeks, during which Bert, true to his word, made a trip to Burbank to blow Craig from Reprise. Gerard held Davi and waved goodbye with her hand while whispering, "Daddy is a slut." Bert smiled, said, "That's why you love me," and kissed them both goodbye.

During the two weeks Gerard sent out all his, Bert's, and Davi's clothes to be washed, and was so proud that he called both Brian and Mikey to brag. He took about a hundred pictures of Davi and e-mailed the best ones to his mom, Brian, and all the guys in the band. Bert went online and bought tons of educational toys for Davi. After five days even Bert and Gerard had to admit that they needed a shower, but they showered together, and spent so much time going down on each other that they completely forgot to use soap.

Finally the day of the closing arrived, and then it was time to move in. They didn't have much stuff, so Gerard rented a van and it just took a few trips between the hotel and the house. Quinn flew in from Utah to help, and Mikey and Frank came in from Jersey. They painted Davi's room yellow and Quinn's room blue, leaving the other rooms white. They set up everything and Frank made a list of things they still needed to buy, like kitchen appliances and bedding. At the bottom of the list, Bert wrote "a piano (pls?)". They all went to Target, Davi included, and then Bert, Gerard, and Davi went to a music store while the rest of the guys went to the house to unpack the purchases.

Bert ran his hand over a black baby grand and smiled at Davi. He set her carseat down next to him on the bench and played a song about a princess who saved the world by planting a thousand flowers. It took Gerard a minute to realize that was the plot of one of the picture books he'd sketched and bound for Davi.

"Can I help you?" a salesman asked as he approached.

Bert smiled at him apologetically. "Can't afford it, sorry."

"I can," Gerard said. "We'd like to buy this one."

Bert frowned. "Where'd you get so much money?"

Gerard shrugged. "Revenge is doing really well, and it's not like I have tons of expenses. You just bought a house. You're gonna be broke for a while. Let me help."

Bert shook his head. "You don't have to -"

"You never took money for doing vocals on 'Prison'," Gerard interrupted. "I owe you."

"You don't owe me shit."

"Then it's a present for Davi." Gerard turned to the confused salesman. "You deliver, right?"

"We can have this delivered tomorrow," he said. "I'll go get the paperwork." He walked toward the back of the store.

Bert stood up and hugged Gerard. "Thank you," he whispered. "And whatever perverted sex act you want as payment, I'm up for it."

Gerard laughed.

Bert took a step back and gestured to his crotch. "No, literally, I'm up for it. This piano just gave me a hard-on."

The salesman cleared his throat, signaling his return.

Gerard smiled at him. "We're very normal people, really."

The piano was delivered the next day, and Quinn moved over some guitars he'd left at John's. With Bert on the piano, Frank and Quinn on guitar, and Mikey using a borrowed bass, they had some great late-night jam sessions. Frank and Mikey left a few days later, but Quinn hung out for nearly a month. Gerard got word through Brian that someone was interested in The Umbrella Academy, so he spent some time holed up in his new studio working on the comic, and Quinn was able to help take care of Davi. Gerard smelled weed on both of them a few times, but decided it wasn't worth starting a fight over.

The new few months passed uneventfully, except for the day Davi started crawling, when Gerard freaked out and refused to let her leave her crib until he could go out and buy plastic outlet covers. Bert bought a video camera, and created a YouTube channel called DaviMcCracken, where their family, friends, and fans could watch her progress as she crawled around and played with her toys. When Davi's channel got more comments total than The Used's YouTube channel, Bert made a video called "Kiss my ass" which consisted of him dancing around the living room with his pants half-off and his entire ass exposed. He then posted it on The Used's channel to increase their comment count, and threw a tantrum when it was flagged and removed.

In November Gerard discovered Bert's stash while he was looking for a pair of his shoes. It was inside a seldom-used suitcase at the back of their bedroom closet. There were a few bottles of Jack Daniels, a substantial bag of marijuana, and an assortment of pills. Gerard read all the labels, which included unfamiliar doctor and patient names, and then went downstairs to find Bert.

Bert was watching TV in the living room as Davi played on the floor with her favorite plush bunny. Gerard sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

"I found your stash," Gerard said.

Bert paused a moment before responding. "Which stash?"

"Fuck you," Gerard muttered. "In the closet." He gestured to Davi. "She can crawl now. She can get in there."

"She can't undo a zipper," Bert argued.

"But maybe a couple months from now she can," Gerard said. "You have oxy in there. Do you have any idea what would happen to her -"

"I'll move it to the top shelf," Bert interrupted.

"That's not the point!"

Bert reached down and lifted Davi into his arms. "Don't yell at her," he said, his voice harsh.

"I wasn't yelling at her," Gerard said.

"Well, don't yell near her," Bert snapped. "I'm not gonna let her grow up like that, always having people yell at her and tell her what to do."

"I'm not..."

Bert stood up and started walking Davi around the living room, whispering to her.

"Bert, I didn't mean to..." Gerard stood up. "Look, you said you'd come to a meeting with me."

"Fine, I'll go," he said. "Are you happy?"

"Thrilled," Gerard muttered. He went into his studio to work. When he came out, Davi was in her crib asleep, and Bert was passed out in their bed, smelling like whiskey. He checked the closet, and the suitcase was gone. He did a quick sweep of the house, checking the basement, closets, and under furniture, but he didn't find it.

A week later, when Gerard was going to an AA meeting, Bert backed out, saying Davi shouldn't be taken there with them. Gerard got a babysitter for the next week's meeting, but Bert claimed to be sick, and even threw up on the bedroom floor to prove it. After that, Gerard continued going to his meetings alone.

One night Gerard carried Davi down to the basement where Bert was playing an acoustic guitar.

"Hi baby," Bert said. "Hi sexypants. Now guess who's who." He laughed.

"Would you mind going to my mom's for Christmas?" Gerard asked. "She wants to meet Davi, and there's no one around here we're close to, right?"

Bert nodded. "Yeah, no problem." He plucked out the melody to the first few lines of "O Christmas Tree". "Are we getting Davi a bunch of presents?"

"I figure my mom'll take care of that," Gerard said. "And we don't have to exchange gifts."

"Good, 'cause my only idea for you was a double-headed dildo," Bert grinned. "And then you wouldn't need me anymore."

Gerard leaned down and kissed him. "Want to swing by Utah on the way back?"

"Nah," Bert said. "We've been talking about getting together here for New Year's."

"Like a party?"

Bert began playing a familiar melody on the guitar. "Something like a party."

"With alcohol?"

Bert didn't look up from the guitar. "Brandon and all his straight edge friends'll be there, so it's not like you'd be alone."

"I'm not worried about me."

Davi wiggled in Gerard's arms, indicating that she wanted to be put down. Gerard placed her down on the floor between them.

Bert held his arm out and Davi crawled to him. "I'm fine," he said. "I'm not like you, G. I don't need to be squeaky clean." He set the guitar to the side and lifted Davi into his arms. "We'll get a babysitter for her, so she'll be fine too."

Davi grabbed a lock of Bert's hair and began chewing on it.

"How about this?" Gerard said. "Promise me you won't do anything - beer, weed, nothing - when you're taking care of Davi, and no hardcore drugs or needle drugs ever."

Bert looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah, no problem." He ran his hand over Davi's hair, which was growing in dark, like her mother's. "I do that anyway."

Gerard knew there were times when Quinn was visiting that they'd played with Davi while high, but he decided not to mention it.

By Christmastime Davi had discovered that many objects in her daily life fit into her mouth, and Gerard spent most days freaking out, sure she was going to choke on something. He canvassed the house, throwing away or hiding anything under a three-inch diameter, and called his mother ahead of time instructing her to do the same. When they got to New Jersey, Mikey, Ray, and Frank had all come over to see them, and as Davi was passed around lovingly, Gerard tore through the living room moving all his mother's various chachkis to the top of the refrigerator.

"I doubt she's going to choke herself on baby Jesus," Donna said as Gerard moved the nativity scene to a high shelf.

"She could," Gerard argued. "And if the guilt doesn't kill you, the irony will."

But Donna had already left him to go hug Bert, who she had an unusual amount of affection for, considering he was the skinny drug-addicted rock star who'd introduced her son to anal sex.

"She's a beautiful baby," Donna said, kissing Bert's cheek.

"She's Gerard's baby too," Bert told her. "So that makes you Grandma."

Donna's eyes welled with tears.

"Say hi to Grandma!" Bert whispered to Davi as he slid her into Donna's arms. "Watch out; she eats hair."

Donna pulled Davi to her chest and hugged her.

"She's never giving her back, you know," Mikey said.

"She will when she poops," Bert whispered.

Donna, Gerard, Bert, Mikey, and Davi had a large dinner together on Christmas Eve, and Christmas morning Bert was the first to meet Donna in the kitchen.

"I have to make coffee for Gerard," he said.

Donna gestured to the full pot she'd already brewed. "I've known him longer than you have, honey."

"Thanks," Bert said as he found a mug and filled it. "One day we ran out of coffee, and he actually cried." He added the milk and sugar. "Then he locked himself in his studio and drew pictures of sad dragons until I went and bought more."

"Sounds like Gerard. How's the baby?"

"She only woke up once during the night," Bert told her. He began walking toward the stairs. "Time to wake up the family and see whether Gerard or the baby whines more."

"My money's on Gerard," Donna called out after him.

They all had a quick breakfast and then gathered around the Christmas tree to open presents. Donna bought her sons and Bert clothing, gift cards, and books. Gerard and Mikey got each other comic books that were especially valuable for some reason Bert didn't understand even when it was explained to him twice. Davi made out the best, receiving a bunch of teething toys, blocks, stuffed animals, and even a toy xylophone, which Bert immediately started playing with.

"Oh, wait!" Bert said halfway through his xylophone rendition of "Choke Me". "I got one more." He ran down to Gerard's bedroom, then returned with an open FedEx envelope.

Bert sat down on the couch next to Gerard. "I know we said we weren't getting each other anything, but..." He held the envelope out. "Brian helped me with it."

Gerard pulled a small pack of papers out of the envelope and read the first one. "These are adoption papers." He looked up at Bert, confused. "You're adopting me?"

Mikey put his hand on Gerard's back. "He hasn't had enough coffee yet."

Bert turned to the next page and pointed at where it said "David B. McCracken".

Gerard's eyes widened. "This is for me to adopt Davi?"

Bert smiled. "So you can legally be her father too."

"Bert, that's so sweet!" Donna got up and hugged him.

"This is amazing," Gerard said with a smile. He leaned over and pulled Bert into a hug. "This is the nicest thing you've ever done for me."

"Even counting the time I rimmed you in the bathroom of that Arby's in Chicago?"

"Yes, please bring that up in front of my mother."

Mikey picked up Davi and held her in his lap. "You hear that, Davi? You're officially a Way. Would you like to create your D&D profile now or after lunch?"

"You just have to sign these with a notary," Bert said, "Then take them to the county courthouse. I know exactly where it is because I got like eight speeding tickets last summer."

Gerard nodded, still grinning. "We'll do it as soon as we get home."

Bert and Gerard flew home the next day, and had the adoption papers signed, notorized, and filed the day after. When they got back from the courthouse Davi fell asleep, so Bert put her in her crib and then went into Gerard's studio.

"Is there a term for the celebratory sex one has when one legally adopts the child of the best lay on the West Coast?" Bert asked.

"Dicomaculism," Gerard answered without looking up from his drawing.

"Really?"

"No."

Bert walked up to Gerard and tugged on his hair. "Come fuck me or I'll go troll the streets of L.A. in drag and see how many offers I get."

Gerard looked up. "The scary part is, you really would do that."

"The scary part is, so would you."

Gerard giggled as Bert leaned down for a kiss. "Come on, come on," Bert muttered against his mouth. He tugged on the collar of Gerard's shirt until he was standing up, and pulled him into the bedroom.

In February Davi said her first word. She was sitting in her high chair with Cheerios and juice as Bert hunched over his laptop and listened to demos Quinn had sent him. Davi tapped her empty juice cup on her table, but Bert didn't hear. After a few more attempts, Davi shrieked out, "Daddy!"

Bert leapt out of his chair. "Holy shit," he muttered. "Gerard! Gerard get over here!"

Gerard rushed in from the living room. "What? What's wrong?"

Davi tapped her cup on her table. "Daddy!"

"Oh my god!" Gerard said.

"Jesus Christ, get the video camera."

The camera was right on the dining room table, so Gerard was back in an instant, pointing it at Davi.

"Say it again, baby," Bert prompted.

Davi slammed her cup on the table as hard as she could and yelled, "Daddy fucking juice Daddy!"

Gerard looked over at Bert, and they both burst out laughing.

Bert refilled Davi's sippy cup and she sucked on it happily as Gerard stopped filming and put down the camera. Bert sat next to the high chair, pointed to himself, and said, "Daddy, right?"

Davi pulled the sippy cup out of her mouth with a pop. "Daddy."

Bert gestured for Gerard to move closer. Then he put his hand on Gerard's chest and said, "Dad."

"She doesn't have to call me Dad," Gerard protested.

"She'll be fucking twelve before she can pronounce 'Gerard'," Bert replied. He tapped Gerard's chest and looked at Davi. "Dad."

Davi held out her arms toward Gerard. "Dad."

Gerard picked her up and hugged her, trying to blink away tears. "I love you, Davi."

"Juice," Davi said, and she spit up on Gerard's shoulder.

Over the next few weeks Gerard re-read Davi all the books he'd written for her, trying to get her to say the key words, and her vocabulary grew steadily. Bert tried to teach her the words to those The Used songs that sounded good unaccompanied on the piano, and though Gerard argued that was too advanced for her, she seemed to enjoy it, humming most of the way through the songs and singing only some of the words.

Around the same time The Umbrella Academy was published, and Dark Horse was arranging a booksigning tour for Gerard. Both MCR and The Used had tour obligations, but Gerard talked to Brian and Chris and arranged for them to have another joint tour, which wouldn't start until his signing tour was over.

"If you want to come along," Gerard asked Bert one night over dinner. Neither one of them were very good at cooking, but they could heat up frozen vegetables and put together basic dishes.

"Of course I want to come," Bert said. "They giving you a bus?"

Gerard shook his head. "It's all planes and hotel rooms."

"Sweet." He reached over to Davi's high chair and squeezed her hand. "You wanna go on a plane and see your Dad read books?"

"Yes," Davi said in a small voice.

Gerard smiled wickedly. "You wanna turn into a vampire and drink blood and devour the souls of innocents?"

"Yes," Davi repeated. She picked up a cooked carrot off her plate and put it in her mouth.

"You wanna grow up to be a stripper?" Bert asked.

"Bert!" Gerard said.

"Yes," Davi said through a mouthful of carrot.

"You know," Bert said. "You should talk to Dark Horse about your Davi books. Those are some good shit."

Gerard shrugged. "They don't do kids books."

"Then talk to your literary agent or whoever the fuck."

"The fuck," Davi said softly.

Gerard sighed. "We really have to stop swearing in front of her."

Bert leaned over to kiss Davi on the top of her head. "Then how will people know she's our kid?"

The first few stops on the Dark Horse tour were in New York, so Gerard was relieved to know that his mom, Mikey, Frank, and Ray would all be in the audience at the first bookstore. A car picked them up at LaGuardia and took them to an upscale hotel, where they found themselves checked in to a huge room, complete with separate living room, jacuzzi, balcony, and two flat-screen TVs.

"Who do I need to blow at Dark Horse to get treated like this?" Bert asked as he picked up Davi out of her car seat.

"Apparently, me," Gerard said with a smile.

Bert kissed him and went to explore the bathroom.

There was a knock at the door, and Gerard opened it to reveal a smiling blond woman holding a briefcase.

"I'm Mindy, from Dark Horse," she said, holding out her hand. "I'll be accompanying you on the tour to make sure everything goes smoothly."

"Gerard," he said as he shook her hand and stepped by to let her enter the living room. "This room is amazing. I could fit twelve more people in here."

"I understood you'd be traveling with your wife and child."

"Oh, I don't have a wife," Gerard explained. "I have a daughter, and I have a...um...a Bert."

Just then Bert entered from the bathroom with Davi on his hip and an unlit cigarette in his mouth. "If we don't fuck in that jacuzzi tonight you are dead to me," he said to Gerard.

"You must be Bert," Mindy said, extending her hand. "I'm Mindy, the tour manager."

Bert shook her hand. "This is Davi. She just started talking." He nuzzled Davi's neck and whispered, "Say hello, Davi."

"Juice," Davi said.

Mindy laughed. "She's adorable."

"I'm gonna smoke on the balcony," Bert said to Gerard. "Can you take her?"

"Sure." Gerard took Davi into his arms and turned back to Mindy. "So when does the signing start?"

"Six, so you have about four hours to relax and get ready," Mindy said. "You probably want to shower."

Gerard stared at her blankly. Davi started chewing on his hair.

"It'll be a twenty minute Q&A," she continued. "We don't anticipate a huge crowd, but there's a lot of buzz because of your band, so you may be signing for an hour or so."

"That's fine."

Mindy handed him a card. "Call me if you need anything. I'll meet you back here around five thirty."

Once she was gone, Gerard painfully pulled his hair out of Davi's mouth and set her down on the bed with some of her toys. She pushed a pile of teething toys away from her and stuck one of her stuffed bunny's ears into her mouth.

Bert came back in from outside and lay down on the bed next to Davi. "How much time we got?"

"Until five thirty," Gerard told him. He stretched out on the bed on the other side of Davi and tickled one of her feet. "She should take a nap." He turned to Bert. "You don't mind bringing her? It might get boring for you."

"Nah, it'll be awesome to see you speak," Bert said. "And if Davi gets fussy I'll just take a cab back." He pulled a pillow underneath his head and closed his eyes.

Gerard lay his head down as well. "I'm nervous," he whispered.

Bert opened his eyes. "About the Q&A?"

Gerard nodded.

Bert reached out and put his arm around Gerard. "Do you know how many times you've talked to me about comic books," he said. "And you were so knowledgeable and so confident, and I had no idea what you were talking about, and I stuck my dick in your mouth just to shut you up?"

"This is supposed to make me feel better?"

"This is your calling in life," Bert said. "You know more about this stuff than any normal person would want to. You'll be okay."

"Thanks," Gerard said.

After taking a short nap in the bed with Davi, Gerard tried on every piece of clothing he'd packed, while Bert sat on the floor playing with Davi and told him he looked like a whore in everything from his retro suit to his jeans and t-shirt.

"I can't look like a whore in everything," Gerard finally said.

Bert shrugged. "It's probably just because I know you."

Gerard put on a dress shirt over his t-shirt and jeans. "What are you wearing?"

Bert took a pair of shorts out of his suitcase, then swiped a t-shirt from Gerard's pile of clothes.

The signing was at an independent bookstore with a large open space in the basement where chairs had been set up. Mindy, Bert, and Davi sat in the first row, and the room quickly filled up with people of all ages. Gerard sat next to the podium and made faces at Davi, who squealed happily, until Bert suddenly passed her off to Mindy and dashed out of the bookstore.

Gerard was about to call out to him when the owner of the bookstore stepped behind the podium and started speaking. He introduced Gerard and the comic, and then Gerard walked up to a roar of applause.

Bert had been right; he was born to talk comic books. He answered questions about everything from The Umbrella Academy itself to his influences to his thoughts on the state of the industry. He was just a few questions in when he saw Bert reappear and take Davi back from Mindy. As he spoke, he watched them, and something in Bert's movements told him something was off.

A young woman raised her hand, and the bookstore manager pointed at her. "Is it true you're dating Bert McCracken?" she asked.

Gerard froze. He'd completely forgotten about that old gossip item. "Well..."

"I mean, you live with him, right?"

"Yes, we share a house," Gerard said.

"But you're not a couple?"

The bookstore manager took a step forward. "Let's move to another question."

Gerard looked over at Davi, who was chewing on Bert's hair and watching Gerard intently. "No, it's okay," Gerard said. "Yes, we're a couple. I've actually adopted his daughter. We're...we're a family." He looked over at Bert, who looked surprised, but was smiling. "But for the sake of my daughter, I'd like to keep our private life private, so I'd rather not say any more on this subject."

Someone else asked a question about feminism in comic books, and Gerard was happy to give his lengthy opinion.

After the Q&A ended, Gerard had a few minutes at the signing table to say hello to his mother, Mikey, Frank, Ray, Bert, and Davi as people who wanted signatures bought their comics and lined up.

"That was a nice thing you said about me and Davi," Bert said, placing her down on the tabletop.

"I just..." Gerard said. "I realized I didn't want her growing up hearing her parents lie, you know?"

Bert nodded. "I'm gonna take her to the kids' section upstairs, and then we'll be back."

"Are you high?" Gerard blurted out.

Bert just stared at him.

"You went out at the start of the Q&A," Gerard said. "And then you seemed more relaxed. And your eyes are all red and..."

Bert looked down. "It's not a big deal."

Gerard leaned forward. "We had an agreement. You can't get fucked up and take care of a baby -"

Mindy interrupted them. "Ready, Gerard?"

Gerard forced a smile. "Sure."

Bert picked up Davi and walked away.

An hour later all the comics were signed, pictures were taken, and one slightly frightening girl had given Gerard a drawing she'd done of him with a bat's body. Mindy gave Gerard the schedule for the next day's signing, and then told him the car was waiting out front whenever he and Bert were ready.

Gerard found Bert sitting on the floor of the childrens' book section, his legs folded so that his body looked tiny, with Davi sitting on his lap and listening to him read a book to her.

"Hey," Gerard said.

Bert stopped reading and looked up. "Hey."

They looked at each other for a moment without speaking.

"It's just, crowds like that get to me," Bert said. "I get nervous, and it helps."

"It's not good for her to be around that," Gerard said softly.

"Daddy, book," Davi said.

"We're gonna finish this one in the hotel, baby," Bert told her. He stood up and lifted her into his arms. "I'm sorry," he said to Gerard. "I don't know what else to do. I just need you to not be mad at me."

"I'm not mad," Gerard said. "Just worried."

Bert kissed him, collected his books, and went to the register.

That night, after they put Davi to sleep, Gerard and Bert got into the jacuzzi.

"I thought being a rock star you'd get all the perks," Bert said as he settled into the hot water. "But they save it for the comic book writers. Can you believe this shit?" He turned and leaned against Gerard's chest. "Do me a favor and grab my cock, would you?"

Gerard chuckled into Bert's hair, but obligingly reached underwater and gave his dick a gentle squeeze. "You don't have to come to the signing tomorrow," he said, as he began moving his hand up and down Bert's length. "If the crowds bother you."

"Nah, it's all right," Bert said, closing his eyes. "I want Davi to see you being all professional like this."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah, well the next time she sees you perform you'll be wearing a feather boa and humping Frank's face," Bert groaned and arched up into Gerard's touch. "So we got to even it out somehow."

When they got out of the jacuzzi Brian called, waking up Davi, and Bert carried her around while Gerard took the call.

"The next time you decide to come out during a public speech," Brian said. "Could you give me a heads up? I've been getting calls all day."

"Sorry," Gerard said.

"You want to release a statement or just leave it like this?"

Gerard pulled the phone away from his face. "Do we want to release a statement?" he asked Bert.

"Yeah," Bert said. "Bert is fucking Gerard and anyone who doesn't like it can suck Bert's balls that he hasn't washed in three days."

"I heard him," Brian said. "I'll take that as a no."

"He's kidding about not washing," Gerard said. "We just got out of the bathtub."

"Was there soap involved?"

"I always forget that part."

"Well, there's not much news coverage," Brian said. "Just a few blurbs on websites here and there. It'll probably come up in interviews though, but you can tell them you want to keep your life private for Davi's benefit."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I said at the bookstore," Gerard told him.

"Is Bert okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine," Gerard said, somewhat surprised at the question. "You want to talk to him?"

"Yeah."

Gerard and Bert swapped the phone for Davi, and Bert took it out onto the balcony while Gerard read Davi a book. When Bert came back in, he was smiling.

"Brian loves us a lot," he said as he curled up on the bed next to Gerard and Davi.

"He told you that?"

Bert shook his head. "It's just obvious." He took one of Davi's hands and kissed it. "I never thought I'd have a family." He looked up at Gerard. "Thank you."

Gerard thought about pointing out that it was Bert's unprotected and likely drunken sex with a fourteen year-old girl that had given him his family to begin with, but it seemed like it would ruin the moment. He leaned down and kissed Bert. "Thank you too."

The next day Gerard didn't say anything when he saw Bert pop a pill during the Q&A. It was probably just a Xanax, which was harmless enough, and the trip was going so well that Gerard didn't want to have any fights. They flew down the East Coast, through the South, and back toward L.A., where they had the last signing at a bookstore not far from Gerard and Bert's house. The signing went longer than usual, but Gerard didn't mind, and he met a lot of interesting fans, including a young woman who handed him three typed pages and asked him to read them.

"Your imagery is strong," Gerard said. "And your dialogue is powerful." He handed the pages back to her. "But I'm actually not having sex with my brother, so that's my only constructive criticism."

"Thank you," the woman said shyly, and she continued down the line.

When the crowd had finally dispersed, Bert appeared with Davi in one arm and a couple of books in the other. "She's totally a future lesbian," he said as he set Davi down on the table. "She's obsessed with this Dora the Explorer chick."

"Will you let her develop her own sexuality please?" Gerard said, distracted as he signed a few comics for the bookstore owner.

"The alternative is she grows up to date boys like Daddy."

Gerard reached out and patted Davi's head distractedly. "Girls are pretty."

They had two weeks in between the comic book tour and the bands' tour. They spent most of it holed up in the house, organizing things for the tour and reading books to Davi. Davi started regularly saying words besides "Daddy", "Dad", "juice", and "fuck", which would've been exciting if one of her new phrases wasn't "suck it".

Remarkably, Bert was able to teach her all the words to "On My Own", though she had a tendency to get distracted and forget to sing at times. She also began pulling herself into a standing position, usually at the piano bench, and she was able to take a few steps before falling over. Naturally, Bert posted about twenty videos of this to the DaviMcCracken YouTube Channel. Gerard started holding her by the hands and walking her around the house while Bert took video and narrated it by saying things like, "The mighty Davi now brings her wraith down upon a city of Weebles." Then he'd roll around on the floor and throw the toys into the air.

During one of their last days at home Gerard was packing his bag when he called out, "Hey! Is the Grilled Cheese Experiment hoody mine or yours?" There was no response, so he shouted out, "Bert!"

Bert walked into the room holding Davi and said, "Could you not scream?"

Gerard froze with the hoody in his hands. "You do know what irony is, right?"

Bert sighed. "I don't want Davi raised around people who yell. My parents always yelled at me and I fucking hated it."

"I was yelling at you, not Davi," Gerard argued. "And it was about a shirt."

"Still," Bert said. "I thought we were clear on this. No yelling around the baby."

"Is the Grilled Cheese Experiment hoody mine or yours?" Gerard whispered.

Bert took the shirt in his free hand and inspected it. "That stain is my bodily fluids." He handed it back. "But the shirt itself is yours."

Bert ordered some special children's earplugs off the internet, and decided that Davi should be backstage at every show so that she could learn to appreciate music. Ray's sister Kelly was coming along again, so she could keep an eye on Davi backstage and take her to the bus if the music bothered her. Brian delegated to their tour manager Larry, and The Used had a new tour manager named Rebecca, a tall, dark-haired woman who Jeph was secretly in love with and Quinn secretly feared.

They all met up at another hotel parking lot. Bags were packed and hugs were exchanged. Everyone was amazed to hear Davi talking, even when she told the sound tech to suck it. Their first stop was a show in San Francisco, so the drive was short and everyone was in good spirits when Rebecca had a catered lunch brought in to the fairgrounds for them.

After lunch Bert and Quinn disappeared to rehearse something, and Kelly sat under a tree and read to Davi. Gerard took the time to work on his next Umbrella Academy comic in the bus, and after about an hour Bert appeared and opened up Gerard's laptop.

"What'd you rehearse?" Gerard asked.

"We want to do On My Own with Davi," Bert explained. "I know she can't sing the whole thing, but it'll be cool to have her on stage."

"You sure?" Gerard asked. "She's not even one."

Bert shrugged. "She'll be fine." He clicked something on the computer and his eyes widened. "Holy shit; he was right! Raisa has a Facebook."

Gerard got up to look over his shoulder. "Davi's mother?"

Bert scanned the page. "Her location's in Moscow and it's all in Russian." He looked back at Gerard. "But wouldn't it be cool if Davi could meet her mother someday?"

"Yeah, that would be great for her."

"I'll send her a private message," Bert said as he clicked on the screen. "And I'll attach some pictures of Davi. She'll love it!"

Before long it was time for their opener, Insert the Foreshadowing, to go on stage. Gerard and Bert made sure Kelly was okay with Davi, and then they went to watch the band. Halfway through the set Bert poked Gerard and motioned for him to follow him. They went back to the bus and Bert turned on the computer.

"I'm just too excited to wait," he said with a big smile. "I mean, everyone thought it was a big mistake, but if Raisa could be part of Davi's life, then it'll be perfect, you know?"

Gerard put his arms around Bert's neck. "I know."

The Facebook page loaded and announced a new message. Bert clicked on it:

"Bert, You brought shame to me and to my family. I do not want to see you or the child again. Please do not contact me."

Bert's face fell. "How could she say that? It's her baby."

Gerard hugged him. "She's only what, fifteen? Maybe when she's older -"

Bert pushed Gerard's arms off him and stood up. "It's not fair. She can't just abandon her kid."

Gerard put his hand on Bert's arm. "She didn't. She knew Davi would be safe with you."

There was a knock at the door. "Bert?" Rebecca called out. "Soundcheck. Let's go."

Bert stormed out the door and headed for the stage.

Gerard stood backstage to watch The Used's show. Either Bert had suddenly developed a surprisingly effective emotional coping mechanism, or he was high, and Gerard suspected the latter. Davi was sitting on the drum riser holding a microphone and a sippy cup of juice. When the lights went down and the crowd cheered, the band went right into "Maybe Memories", and Davi seemed happy watching her Daddy climb up on the monitors and scream.

For their next song Bert announced to the crowd that they were gonna "slow things down for a minute". He lifted Davi into his arms and brought her to the front of the stage. "This is Davi McCracken," he said. "She's gonna help us out on the next one." They played the mellow "On My Own", with Davi singing remarkably well, only stopping when she decided she needed a sip of juice. At the end of the song Bert kissed her cheek and handed her off to Kelly, yelling, "Let's hear it for Davi!" The crowd cheered.

After The Used's set, Gerard congratulated each of them, then checked with Bert before going backstage to put on his makeup. Bert was holding Davi and sitting on the side of the stage drinking a bottle of water. "I got her," he said. "Let Kelly have some fun in the mosh pit." He leaned down to whisper to Davi. "Want to see your Dad sing and dance?"

Davi nodded.

Gerard leaned down and kissed her. "See you after the show."

"We'll be here."

After the show, Bert and Davi were gone. Gerard wandered around the entire backstage area, but there was no sign of them, and they weren't on the bus either. Finally he ran into Quinn, who was smoking a joint with the drummer from Insert the Foreshadowing.

"Hey Quinn," Gerard said. "Have you seen Bert?"

Quinn nodded behind them. "Tech bus."

"Thanks."

As he was walking toward the tech bus, he saw Rebecca approach, carrying Davi.

"Is Bert okay?" he asked her.

Rebecca nodded. "He's just hanging out with the techs, and he wanted me to bring Davi to you."

Gerard took Davi into his arms. "Hey baby," he said. "You have a good time with Daddy?"

"Daddy has a needle," Davi said.

Gerard looked up at Rebecca. She paled. "I didn't see -"

Gerard held Davi out. "Take her," he demanded.

Rebecca took Davi. "Gerard, wait," she said.

Gerard strode over to the tech bus and threw open the door. Bert was sitting at the end of the couch, smoking a cigarette, his eyes red-rimmed, looking boneless.

Gerard walked up to him. "You shot up in front of our daughter?"

Bert looked surprised. "No," he said. "Why -"

"She saw you with a needle."

"It was a knife," the tattooed girl sitting next to Bert said. "We ate some pie."

"Shut the fuck up," Gerard snapped at her.

Bert stood, took Gerard's arm, and led him out of the bus to the parking lot outside, where Rebecca was still standing with Davi.

"It wasn't meth," Bert said.

"So what was it? Heroin?" Gerard asked.

Bert shook his head. "Just some pills. You crush them up and inject them so they work faster. It's not a big deal."

"It's a big fucking deal!" Gerard shouted.

"Boys," Rebecca said. "Not in front of Davi."

Gerard noticed Quinn jogging over to them.

"She didn't see anything," Bert said.

"Except she told me!" Gerard ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Where'd you get these pills, anyway?" He gestured to Quinn. "Him?"

Quinn put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, I just fucking got here. Is everyone okay?"

"We're fine," Bert said.

"You shot up in front of our daughter!" Gerard yelled.

"Don't yell around her!" Bert shouted back.

"Right, because it's such a big deal that you're not as bad as your parents were," Gerard said. "Fuck you, Bert. You're worse than them."

Bert took a swing at him, but Gerard took a step back, and Bert's fist only weakly connected with his shoulder. Gerard lunged forward, but Quinn got between them to try and break it up, and the result was all three of them crashing to the concrete below.

Suddenly Frank and Jeph were there, pulling the three of them apart. Bert was still tense and ready for a fight, so Jeph took one of his arms and Quinn took the other. Davi had started crying, and Frank took her from Rebecca.

"We're taking him to our bus," Jeph said to Frank. "You two got Davi?"

"We're good," Frank said. He put his other hand on Gerard's arm.

Bert put his head down and allowed himself to be led away from the rest of them.

"You two stay the night on that bus," Rebecca ordered them. "And Bert's staying on The Used's bus. We can talk in the morning when everyone's calmer."

Gerard nodded and followed Frank back to his bus.

Frank changed Davi and put her to bed, then joined Gerard in the kitchen, where he was cradling his head in his hands. Frank put on a pot of coffee and sat down next to him.

"What happened?" Frank asked.

"He contacted Raisa," Gerard explained. "Davi's mother. But she didn't want to have anything to do with him, and I guess it set him off." Gerard sighed. "Not that that's any excuse. I mean, people get upset all the time and don't do needle drugs. He can't just run away from everything like this." Gerard looked up with wet eyes. "I mean, how many chances do you give someone to get clean?"

"How many did you get?" Frank asked.

Gerard remembered Frank holding onto him as he threw up outside the van during their first tour. He remembered the same scene happening more than once. "Too many."

Frank reached out and took Gerard's hands in his. "And if you slipped again, if you suddenly started drinking and needed someone to be there for you, I'd be there for you." He squeezed Gerard's hands. "And Mikey and Brian and Ray and Bob and everyone else who loves you, and no one would judge you."

"Are you defending Bert?" Gerard asked.

"I'm just saying he deserves the same support you got." Frank got up and poured two cups of coffee. "Of course, there's a point where someone's addiction is poisoning everyone around them, and they need to be cut off so they can hit rock bottom."

Gerard shook his head. "Bert hit rock bottom at sixteen. I can't do that to him."

Frank carried over the cups of coffee and handed one to Gerard. Gerard took a sip and they sat in silence for a moment.

"We don't use condoms," Gerard said softly.

"Fucking..." Frank put his hand to his forehead. "Are you retarded?"

"I didn't know he'd be sharing needles," Gerard said defensively.

"But you have an open relationship."

Gerard nodded. "We use condoms with other people."

Frank gestured back to the bunk area. "Except Davi's mother!"

Gerard took another sip of his coffee. "This is a disaster."

Frank stood up and hugged him. "No, it's not. We'll talk to Brian. I'm sure he can get you tested anonymously at the next stop." He withdrew and went back to his seat. "And once Bert's sober he'll realize what an idiot he was and he'll apologize."

"Until he does it again," Gerard muttered.

Gerard and Frank slept together in the bottom bunk opposite Davi's crib, and she only woke up once during the night. Gerard wasn't used to sleeping alone, and it was nice to have a warm body to cling to, even though Frank kicked when he slept. Brian called in the morning, having gotten the whole story from Rebecca, and Gerard told him about his STD worries. As Frank predicted, Brian made appointments at their next stop for them to be seen by a doctor under pseudonyms.

It was around noon when there was a knock on the door. Davi was playing with some toys on the floor of the lounge. Gerard took a deep breath, opened it, and saw Quinn.

"Hey man," Frank said. "I was just leaving, if you two need to talk." He gave Gerard a quick hug and walked out the door as Quinn walked into the lounge.

Quinn scratched his head and sighed before speaking. "He's afraid you don't want him to come back."

Gerard squeezed his hands together. "I do. I want him to."

Quinn nodded. "Good." He took a deep breath and looked around the room. "Then I guess the only issue is, I'm afraid you're gonna give him too much shit about what he did."

Gerard glanced down at Davi. "He shot up with our baby," he said in a low voice.

"And you're never gonna forgive him for that?"

"He needs help."

"He has help," Quinn argued. "He has me, and you, and our whole band, and Brian -"

"Enabling," Gerard interrupted. "Not helping."

Quinn's eyes flashed with anger. "Do you know how many times I've taken care of Bert? Cleaned up his puke, given him a place to crash, stayed up with him all night when he was having a bad trip? I never forced him to get clean or gave him stupid rules. I just took care of him, because he's my best friend, and I love him. And you're supposed to love him too."

"I do love him," Gerard said. "But am I just supposed to let him hurt himself?"

"Yes!" Quinn shouted. "If that's what he wants to do, you can't stop him. You can only be there for him."

Davi let out a small cry and Gerard leaned over to pick her up. "Tell him to come back," Gerard said. "I won't lecture him or make him come to AA meetings, all right?"

Quinn paused before responding. "Thank you," he said softly, and he left.

Bert arrived about fifteen minutes later. By then Davi was in her high chair sticking Cheerios up her nose. Gerard was patiently explaining to her that Cheerios go in our mouth and not in our nose, when the door opened and Bert walked in.

He looked worse for the wear, with his hair rattier than usual and his face oddly swollen. His eyes welled up with tears and he looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice shaking. "I'm so sorry, Gerard, I just...I don't know..."

Gerard got up from the table and pulled Bert into a hug. "It's okay," he said. "Everything's fine now."

Bert took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Gerard's back. "Is she okay?"

Gerard turned his head and smiled at Davi. "She missed you. Oh!" He let go of Bert and rushed to the table. "She's putting Cheerios up her nose." He extracted one from each nostril and then tilted her head back to check for more.

"Hi baby," Bert said as he walked to the table and kissed Davi.

"Hi Daddy," she said.

"I think she's had enough," Gerard said as he cleared her bowl and tossed out the unusued food. "We have some time before the show. Want to watch a movie or something?"

Bert gave him an embarrassed smile. "I was kind of up all night. I could use a nap." He touched Gerard's hand. "Come with?"

"If Davi'll sleep," Gerard said. He lifted her out of her high chair and brought her into the bunk area, where he put her in her crib.

"Naptime?" Bert asked her.

"No Daddy," Davi said.

Bert picked up her favorite stuffed bunny and put it in the crib with her. "Bunny says it's naptime."

Davi yawned. "No Daddy." She hugged the bunny to her chest and closed her eyes.

Bert stripped down to his underwear and crawled into the bottom bunk. Gerard joined him, still wearing all his clothes. Gerard leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Bert's lips, and the tension in Bert's shoulders seemed to drain at the touch.

"Though I lost you," Bert muttered.

"We're a family," Gerard whispered. He kissed Bert again, and they lie there kissing for what seemed like forever, until Bert finally fell asleep. Once he was out, Gerard wrapped both arms around him and held on tight until Davi woke up needing a diaper change.

In Atlanta Brian called and told them to be ready for a car at ten a.m. They dragged themselves out of bed and dropped off Davi at the MCR bus. They had concurrent appointments at a hospital in the city under the names Peter Parker and James Logan. Gerard begged the driver for a Starbucks stop, and they both walked into the examining room wearing last night's clothes, bleary-eyed, and clutching venti cups.

"We must look awful," Gerard said. "They're gonna admit us just for being gross."

Bert pushed his hair over his face the way he liked it. "I don't know about you, but I am one gorgeous motherfucker."

The doctor entered, and Gerard was relieved that he was male. "I'm Dr. Larsen," he said. "You must be Peter and James." He looked at their two charts. "Your um, friend told us you want a full STD work-up. Is that correct?"

"Yes, sir," Bert said with a smile. "Swab my crotch and call me Spiderman."

The doctor reached into a nearby drawer. "Actually we'll be doing a mouth swab for the HIV test, and a blood draw for all the others."

Gerard instantly stiffened. "Blood draw?"

"He has a phobia," Bert explained. "Don't worry; I can help." He put his arm around Gerard. "Close your eyes."

Gerard pointed at the doctor. "I'm not closing my eyes while he's holding needles!"

Bert turned to the doctor. "I'll handle it. Just stick him once he starts screaming."

"Screaming?" Gerard asked.

Bert licked from the top of Gerard's forehead down to his neck, then latched onto the side of his neck, and bit down hard.

Gerard screamed. The doctor stuck the needle in his arm and extracted a vial of blood. When he was done, Bert let go of Gerard's neck and smiled.

"See?" Bert said. "Wasn't that easy?"

Gerard held onto his arm. "I can't believe you let him stab me." He reached up to his neck. "And you bit me."

Bert held out his arm to Dr. Larsen. "I'm used to needles," he said. "Which is sadly why we're here."

The doctor took a vial of blood from Bert, and then swabbed each of their mouths. "I'll have preliminary results in half an hour, if you could just wait here."

"No problem," Gerard said, still rubbing his arm. He nudged Bert with his shoulder. "I can't believe you bit me. People are gonna think I'm a vampire."

"People already think you're a vampire," Bert pointed out.

Forty minutes of playing "Marry Fuck Kill" later, the doctor re-entered with their charts.

"Good news!" Dr. Larsen said. "You both have chlamydia."

Gerard and Bert exchanged a look. "That doesn't sound like good news," Gerard said.

The doctor sat in the chair across from them. "I'm sorry. I just meant, you're both negative for HIV and any other STIs. Chlamydia is a very easy disease to treat, so you have nothing to worry about." He took out a prescription pad. "You can cure it with one dose of antibiotics, Azithromycin, and you can get this filled right in the hospital." He handed each of them a prescription. "Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, thank you," Gerard said.

The doctor stood up. "Abstain for seven days, or use condoms, so you don't end up passing the infection back and forth."

"Seven days?" Bert asked, wide-eyed. "Wait, with just him or with everyone?"

The doctor looked confused.

"What about oral?" Bert asked. "That's safe, right?"

"Jesus, did you never go to Health class?" Gerard asked him.

"Tell me I can't get a hand job," Bert said to the doctor. "And I will kill myself right now."

The doctor smiled. "A hand job should be safe. And if you'd just use condoms, you can do whatever -"

"I'm buying condoms at the pharmacy," Gerard assured the doctor.

"What?" Bert turned to Gerard. "I shouldn't have to use condoms with you. We're practically fucking married."

"If you're going to be using needle drugs -" Gerard began.

Bert paled. "No way. I swear. I'm off them."

"And impregnating adolescent girls -"

"That happened once." Bert said defensively.

"We'll talk about it later," Gerard said with an apologetic glance to the doctor.

"You boys have a nice day," Dr. Larsen said. "And feel free to stop by the soup kitchen across the street. It's very nice."

Gerard tried to smooth down his hair. "Uh, thank you."

After the needle incident and the STD scare, Bert seemed to be walking on eggshells for about two weeks. He spent most of his time with Davi, teaching her songs and reading her books. He didn't visit his own band's bus often, and he even tried to join in on an MCR game of Magic the Gathering before he sighed loudly, put down his cards, and said, "I'm sorry; this is just too retarded." He had small incidents of what could be called panic attacks, where he got jumpy and withdrew from everyone but Davi, and he was sleeping less than usual. Gerard was actually a little relieved when Bert walked into their bus one day with Quinn, and they both smelled like weed. Gerard had been playing blocks with Davi, but when she saw Bert she pulled herself to her feet and yelled, "Daddy!"

"Daddy and Uncle Quinn wrote you a song," Bert said as he lifted her into his arms and kissed her.

"I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake!" Davi yelled.

"Impressive," Quinn said as he tuned his guitar.

Bert grinned. "I'm gonna have her do that on stage." He placed Davi down on the floor next to Gerard. "We're gonna play it for you, okay?"

"Please do," Gerard said.

Bert and Quinn played a song titled "The Girl Who Lived Forever". It had a catchy chorus and Bert's vocals were amazing, as usual. It wasn't until halfway through the song that Gerard realized the girl lived forever because everyone around her died a horrible death. He heard the lyric, "I rot here in my house alone / She picked my flesh and bleached my bones."

"You like it?" Bert asked with a smile when they finished.

"Are you kidding?" Gerard said. "Beautiful, tragic, and macabre. I wish I wrote it."

"We're gonna play it tonight," Quinn said. "It'll sound even better with the bass and drums."

The Used's set went great that night. The new song went over well with the crowd, and Bert brought Davi out to sing the chorus on "I'm A Fake" (though Quinn and Jeph's backing vocals predictably drowned her out). Bert was more energetic than usual, if that was even possible. He led the crowd in chants, organized mosh pits, and dedicated a song to Gerard's left testicle. He came off stage sweating and panting, and smiling more widely than he had in weeks. He kissed Davi, who was in Gerard's arms, and then licked Gerard's face.

"My right testicle is jealous," Gerard said with a smile.

Bert stuck his tongue out suggestively. "I'll make it up to it."

"Play 'Prison' with us?" Gerard offered.

"Fuck yeah."

"Go drink some water," Gerard said. He dropped off Davi with Kelly and checked with the rest of the band to make sure they could change the set list.

When the lights came back up the first verses of "Prison" were playing, and Gerard was standing in the center of the stage. As he began speaking, Bert walked on from the side.

"I'd like to dedicate this first song," Gerard said. "To Bert McCracken's tongue. If that tongue could write a book..." He shook his head to the beat. "Well, that book would have chlamydia." He began singing. "In the middle of a gunfight..."

Bert and Gerard were both wired after the show, and they laughed and joked as they carried Davi back to the bus. She was exhausted, and fell asleep as soon as she was placed in her crib.

Bert turned on the baby monitor and gestured for Gerard to follow him into the lounge, where he grabbed his face and kissed him. They stumbled onto the couch, Bert straddling Gerard, as they kissed and worked to undo each other's pants.

"Can I fuck you?" Bert whispered against Gerard's lips.

"Yeah," Gerard said. "Let me go get the condoms." He pushed Bert off his lap and went into the bunk area.

"What?" Bert put his hands to his head. "No. Fuck."

"What?" Gerard said as he re-entered with a box of Trojans.

"When was the last time you fucked someone who wasn't me?" Bert asked.

Gerard thought about it a moment. "The bass player from Robot Boyfriend. Christine. It was before I got clean, so it must've been..." he shrugged. "Two years ago?" He sat down next to Bert. "Why. What about you?"

Bert raised an eyebrow. "Raisa."

"Bullshit," Gerard said. "You blew Craig at Reprise a couple months ago."

"Oh, we're counting blowjobs?" Bert said. "Then I gotta get a calendar and some graph paper." He moved to stand up.

Gerard pushed him back down and kissed him.

"Four blowjobs in the past year and a half," Bert said. "Two given, two received."

"So what's your point?"

"If we're practically monogamous, why don't we just be monogamous?" Bert said. "Then there's no bullshit with condoms and doctors and antibiotics."

Gerard's eyes widened. "Are you sure about this?"

Bert shrugged. "We're already doing it. We just need to make it official."

Gerard looked down at his hands. "The only thing is..." He looked up at Bert. "If you use any needles, you're exposing us to all kinds of nasty -"

"I'm done," Bert said. "I fucking swear to god."

Gerard looked into his eyes. "Okay," he said.

Bert smiled. "Okay." He moved back so he could take off his clothes. "Just remember, if I lose my job because I stop blowing record company executives, you have to keep me in the manner to which I've been accustomed."

"Cheap weed and potato chips. Got it."

The next afternoon Brian called while Gerard was feeding Davi at the kitchen table and Bert was off talking to his band.

"Bad news," Brian said. "We can't get you and Bert on the same summer tour."

"That's bullshit," Gerard replied.

"You got the Pepsi Tour," Brian explained, "And they don't want The Used. The Used got the Skate America Tour, and they can't afford you."

"Then we'll do Skate America for less money," Gerard said as he put a spoonful of pea-flavored baby food in Davi's mouth.

"They're already booked now."

Davi spit the food onto Gerard's hand, and Gerard wiped it off on his shirt. "Then tell the Pepsi Tour we're not doing it unless The Used comes along."

Brian sighed. "You're not exactly Bono, Gerard. They're not gonna change the whole tour just for you."

"But -"

"I did talk to Chris," Brian said. "And we got The Used switched to the second leg of their tour. So it's June July for you, and July August for them. You'll only be apart for a month."

"I guess that's not so bad," Gerard admitted. He pushed another spoonful of food into Davi's mouth. "It's just that I want Davi to have a stable, normal childhood with two parents."

"You want her to have a normal childhood?" Brian asked. "With you and Bert as her parents?"

"Yeah," Gerard said. "What?"

"I have to hang up now," Brian said. "Because I have to laugh, and I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"Thank you," Gerard said, just as a dollop of pea-colored food hit him in the face.

Davi managed to get more food on herself than in her mouth, so Gerard gave her a quick bath in the sink and changed her clothes. He was trying to teach her to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on her toy xylophone when Bert walked in.

"Brian called about the summer tours," Gerard said.

Bert nodded. "I just talked to Rebecca." He leaned down to kiss Davi on the head. "Sucks, but it's just for a month." He sat down on the couch.

"Daddy, look!" Davi said, and she pounded on the xylophone.

"You are a musical genius, my little Davi," Bert said. He looked over at Gerard. "So how do you want to handle it? Have me on your tour in June, and you come with me in August? I doubt we'll get our own bus again, but we can manage."

Gerard nodded. "You should take Davi in July," he said. "She's more bonded to you."

"She'll miss you," Bert said.

Gerard picked up Davi and pulled her into his lap. "Then I'll have to kiss her a thousand times before then." He kissed her face and tickled her feet until she was screeching with laughter.

Davi's first birthday was in May, and, with Rebecca's help, Bert arranged a catered picnic in the field behind the outdoor stage at the venue. There were helium baloons and little plastic party favors everywhere, and all the bands and crew attended. Most had gone out of their way to purchase gifts for Davi at the last hotel stop, and she gleefully unwrapped stuffed animals, books, and even a tamborine from Mikey and a miniature guitar from Quinn. After the gifts were opened and the food mostly consumed, Bert sat and played with Davi's tamborine, as Davi repeatedly stuck her fingers in a serving of potato salad and then wiped them in Bert's hair.

Gerard looked up from where he was reading one of Davi's new books on the other side of her. "She's getting some stuff in your..."

Bert picked up a greasy lock of his hair, studied it for a moment, and then put it in his mouth.

"Is she going on stage tonight?" Gerard asked.

Bert nodded. "If she's up to it."

"Daddy I'm on the stage," Davi said.

"That's right, baby." Bert said. He examined her hand, covered with potato salad, and leaned down to lick it off.

"This is a little disgusting," Gerard said. "Even by our standards."

"You remember the song?" Bert asked Davi.

Davi nodded. "Small simple safe price. Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets."

"Wow," Gerard said.

Bert took one last lick of Davi's fingers and sat back up. "She can do the whole thing if I prompt her." He looked over at Gerard. "You look ridiculous."

Gerard considered his black jeans, black hoody, and sunglasses. "I burn easily."

Bert leaned back on his elbows and looked at the sky. "But it's such a nice day."

"It's a nice day under here too," Gerard said, pulling his sleeves over his hands.

"We still have cake coming," Bert said to Davi. "You gonna blow out the candles and make a wish?"

Davi nodded.

"What are you gonna wish for?"

Davi smiled. "That me, and you, and Dad, go to the moon."

"Sorry; that's my influence," Gerard said without looking over at them.

"And fight crime," Davi finished.

Bert looked at Gerard, who was hunched over a children's book about a dragon, his face almost entirely hidden behind his hair and sunglasses. "You know," Bert said. "I really love you, you fucking weirdo."

Gerard looked up from the book. "Thanks," he said. "I really love you too."

Bert smiled and nodded. "Good."

Gerard smiled. "You still have potato salad in your hair."

During that night's show, Bert informed the audience that Davi was one year old, and then they played The Girl Who Lived Forever. Then Bert brought Davi onstage, and had her do the whole spoken intro for "I'm a Fake". She stopped every other line and looked at Bert, who would whisper the words in her ear, but overall she did a great job, adding just the right inflection to lines like, "What's left but a section of pygmy sized cuts? / Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks." The crowd cheered for her, and she danced clumsily onstage as the band performed the rest of the song.

They had nine days between the end of the tour and the beginning of the Pepsi Tour, and as soon as they got into their house and dumped their bags in the living room, Bert picked up Davi out of her carseat and announced that it was naptime.

"No Daddy," Davi said.

"It's naptime, whether you like it or not," Bert said.

"She doesn't need a nap," Gerard said as he took off his hoody and smelled it. It did not smell good.

Bert turned to Gerard. "We have nine days. After that, it's a month in a cramped bus, a month apart, and a month in another cramped bus." He grabbed Gerard's collar with his free hand. "I'm going to naptime your fucking brains out every day until we leave."

Gerard smiled. "I will help her get changed into her pajamas."

The Pepsi Tour, despite the prestige it brought MCR for being asked to headline, was sorely lacking in accomodations. Gerard, Bert, Davi, Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Bob were all sharing a bus, the same bus where they'd renovated the back lounge into a recording studio. They had to set up the crib in the front lounge, and Gerard and Bert ended up sleeping on the couch beside it most nights. Whoever woke up first would inevitably wake up all three of them by tripping on the crib on the way to the kitchen, and consequently none of them got enough sleep. There were only two hotel nights scheduled for the whole first month, and their rest stops consisted of gas stations with junk food and dingy bathrooms.

Davi was probably the only thing that kept them from sniping at each other. She would cuddle up to every one of the band members randomly, almost as if she knew when they were about to snap. Bert would often wake up to find her chewing on Ray's hair, tugging on Bob's lip ring, playing her toy guitar for Mikey, or tracing Frank's tattoos with her finger. She'd smile and say, "I love you Uncle Bob," and he'd completely forget about how Bert had loudly jerked off in the bathroom at four a.m. Bert even once used her as a human shield when Frank came stomping up to him as he finished the last of the Lucky Charms.

The shows were all great, and Davi immediately asked to be on stage with her Dad. Bert taught her the chorus to "Give 'Em Hell, Kid", and Gerard brought her on for that almost every show. Bert still joined them for "Prison", and Davi cheered them on from backstage, where Matt Cortez usually kept an eye on her.

One night after a show, Bert and Gerard lay sleeplessly on the couch as Davi muttered to herself in her crib.

"Is that 'Give 'Em Hell, Kid'?" Bert whispered.

They both went still as they tried to listen.

"I think it's 'Prison'," Gerard said with a giggle.

"Davi?" Bert called out. "What are you singing?"

"Pain heart and dying wish, I kiss your lips again," she replied, then, "Naptime, Daddy."

Bert and Gerard put their heads together to stifle their laughter. Bert kissed Gerard, then bit him on the chin. "Hey, no offense," he whispered. "But if we don't fuck soon I'm gonna kill myself, you, and your entire band."

"You already traumatized everyone by giving yourself a screaming orgasm in the bathroom," Gerard said through his chuckles.

"Next stop, you give Davi to Larry."

"Why me?"

"You're prettier," Bert argued. "People like you more. Also I called Larry a bitch yesterday because he wouldn't give me a cigarette."

"Stops are ten minutes," Gerard said. "There's no way we can -"

"You lack imagination," Bert said.

There was a shifting noise from Davi's crib. "Naptime Daddy!" she called out.

Bert rested his head against Gerard's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Wake me when we stop."

They ended up stopping for gas around five in the morning, when the sun was just rising. There was some stirring in the bunk area, but it didn't seem like anyone was getting up. Bert sat up as soon as he felt the bus stop, and he nudged Gerard.

"Hm?" Gerard said.

"Think sexy thoughts," Bert told him. "Come on."

"God, what time is it?" Gerard asked as he struggled to his feet. "Bert, I can't function this early. There's not even coffee."

Bert picked Davi up out of her crib and put her in her carseat. Davi made a soft sound but remained asleep. "Hurry up," Bert hissed as he went for the door.

Outside, Larry was standing near his bus with one of the techs. Bert turned around, where Gerard was leaning against the side of the bus and looking half-dead.

"Go ask him," Bert said.

Gerard blinked at him. "What's happening?"

Bert sighed and walked over to Larry. "Hey, Larry," he said. "Gotta piss. Can you hold my kid for a second?"

Larry looked at Davi uncertainly.

"She's asleep," Bert said. "Just keep an eye on her for five minutes, all right?" He placed the carseat on the ground next to him. "Thanks, man. I owe you."

Bert rushed back over to their bus, grabbed Gerard's hand, and pulled him into the gas station's single-stall bathroom.

As soon as the door was closed and locked behind him, Bert fell to his knees and undid Gerard's pants.

"Bert, I can't," Gerard muttered. "I'm half asleep."

Bert gripped the base of Gerard's dick and slid it into his mouth. He licked hungrily at the head while jerking off the shaft, then took the entire length into his mouth. He moved his hand to the front of his pants and rubbed himself.

"Oh, god," Gerard moaned. He thrust himself in and out of Bert's mouth a few times before coming with a long groan.

Bert swallowed and stood up. "Hurry, hurry," he said.

Gerard knelt down as Bert hastily undid his pants and pulled out his already-hard dick. There was a knock at the bathroom door.

"Bert!" Larry called out. "What the hell are you two doing in there?"

"One minute!" Bert called out as Gerard's mouth slid over his dick. "Oh, fuck, yes," he moaned out. He tugged at Gerard's hair. "Look at me."

Gerard looked up and Bert came as soon as their eyes met.

"Gerard!" Larry called out. "We're on a fucking schedule you idiots!"

After taking a few seconds to straighten out their clothes, Bert and Gerard came out of the bathroom, apologized quickly to Larry, and took Davi back into their bus just as the bus' engine started. Davi was still asleep, and Bert gently moved her to her crib. Then they both collapsed on the couch, giggling into each other's necks.

"I feel better, don't you?" Bert asked.

Gerard nodded. "You have the best ideas."

Bert hooked one of his legs over Gerard's, and soon they both fell asleep.

When it was time for The Used's tour to start, Bert rented a van for Davi's crib and all her things. He and Gerard spent an afternoon moving everything and digging through their bags trying to figure out whose clothing was whose. When Bert was all set to go, he stood outside the van with Davi in her carseat and tried to explain the situation to her.

"Your Dad has to go play some more shows," Bert said. "But Daddy has other shows. So we have to leave your Dad for a while and go on Uncle Quinn's bus. But your Dad will join us in a month when we're in Boston."

"She has no idea what you're saying," Gerard said.

Davi looked between them, confused. "Dad?"

Gerard leaned down to kiss her. "I'll see you soon, Davi girl. I love you."

"Love you Dad," she said.

Gerard took a small package out of his pocket and handed it to Bert. "It's a webcam," he said. "I bought one for me too. This way I can see Davi while you're gone."

Bert smiled. "And I can -"

"You can not make me watch while you slap it with your dick."

"You know me so well."

They stood across from each other in silence for a moment.

"So," Gerard said finally. "Boston."

Bert nodded. "Boston."

They hugged, strapped Davi into the back seat of the van, and then hugged again. Bert pressed his face against Gerard's neck and tried to memorize how he smelled.

Gerard felt their absence hard the first night, when he was lying alone in his bunk with no one to watch over. He couldn't sleep. He whispered out Mikey's name, then Frank's, and when there was no response he took out his phone and texted "miss u" to Bert. The reply came back in a few minutes: "miss u lik burning u sexi mfer gona jerk of thinkin of how u smel". Gerard was pretty sure he smelled like shit, but it was still a nice text, and thinking about it helped him fall asleep.

Two days later Bert got his webcam up and running, and he called Gerard in the early afternoon to tell him to turn his on as well. Gerard sat at the kitchen table and grinned like an idiot as Davi touched the computer screen and said, "Dad."

"Hi baby!" Gerard said. "Are you having a good time with Daddy?"

"I play guitar," she said.

"You do?"

Davi nodded. "On the stage."

Bert appeared behind her. "Quinn has her do soundcheck for him. It's fucking adorable."

"Take pictures," Gerard said.

"Fuck pictures; it's already on YouTube," Bert told him. "And I sent a link to your mom."

"Awesome, thanks."

"Dad I play guitar," Davi repeated. She reached back, grabbed a lock of Bert's hair, and put it in her mouth.

"Hey, listen," Bert said. "I'm gonna jerk off into a shirt. Then I'm gonna FedEx it to you. Then I need you to jerk off into the same shirt, and then FedEx it back to me."

"What?" Gerard said.

"Just trust me."

True to his word, four days later a package arrived from Bert, having been overnighted to Reprise Records and rerouted to the tour bus. The FedEx envelope came with one dirty yellow t-shirt screen printed with "Buttsex is Itchy", and a return envelope addressed to Bert care of Reprise. Gerard felt ridiculous, but he took it into the bathroom anyway and jerked off into it. Then he shoved it in the return envelope and asked Larry to take it to the post office, claiming it was important contracts.

Five days later Gerard got a text from Bert telling him to check The Used's YouTube Channel, where he found a video of Bert wearing the crusty "Buttsex is Itchy" t-shirt onstage, and dedicating "Take It Away" to "someone I love". Gerard watched the whole song, and got a little teary-eyed, not even caring that he was crying over dried jizz.

During an interview in Oregon with Gerard and Frank, a woman from the local radio station asked, "Do you identify as a homosexual?"

"I like to keep my private life private," Gerard said. "For the sake of my daughter."

"Who is biologically Bert McDonald's daughter?"

"McCracken, and yes," Gerard said.

"It's just that your sexuality is speculated about a great deal among your fans -"

"Frank has a funny story," Gerard interrupted. "Tell her, Frank."

"Oh yeah, it was really funny," Frank said, throwing Gerard a dirty look. "Just the other day I was trying to change a lightbulb, when I fell off the chair, hit my head, and realized that Gerard is bisexual and no one cares."

"Bisexual?" the interviewer asked.

"But no one cares," Frank repeated. "What's important to us is the music, and the message, and we all love Gerard so much we wouldn't care if he was fucking llamas."

The interviewer lowered her microphone.

"Not that you should fuck llamas," Frank continued. "I'm very into animal rights. I'm a vegetarian, and I believe that, with a little education, most people would choose not to eat animals. Did you know that the chicken you buy in the supermarket was actually tortured..."

Gerard put his hand over his face.

"I think I just outed us," Gerard said over the phone after the show that night. He was lying on his bunk and eating White Cheddar Cheez-Its.

"Again?" Bert laughed. "Don't worry about it. We're not that important."

"It's just that now everything written about me will have a comma after my name," Gerard said. "I could end world hunger and it'll still be 'My Chemical Romance vocalist Gerard Way, who likes to fuck guys, today saved the world from famine.'"

"So let them insert commas, fuck it," Bert said. "People have been yelling 'faggot' at me all my life. And you know what I do?"

"You kiss them on the mouth."

"Hell yeah," Bert said. "And that's how come I have so many friends."

Gerard heard the sound of crying in the background.

Bert groaned. "This is gonna be a bad night for her. I think she has a cold."

"Poor Davi," Gerard said. "Give her a kiss from me."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

Finally the Pepsi Tour ended, and the band tried to make the last night their best show ever. They broke out some of the new stuff they'd been working on in the bus' recording room, and the fans responded well. Everyone was on their game, and Gerard felt a surge of energy as they finished the next-to-last song.

Then someone yelled out, "Faggot!"

Gerard froze in the middle of twirling his scarf. It was impossible to know who'd said it, but it was loud enough that everyone in the band and the front of the crowd had heard. Though the cheering didn't subside, there was this sudden, painful lull, and Gerard didn't know what to do.

Then he felt a hand in his hair, and Frank was pulling him into a sloppy kiss. The crowd roared.

Frank pulled away only when the rest of the band began the opening bars of the next song.

"My name is Gerard," Gerard said as the song began. "And sometimes I kiss boys. You all still like me, right?"

The crowd cheered loudly.

"Good, 'cause I really like you," Gerard continued, and then he went into the first verse.

The next morning Gerard took a plane to Boston, where he heard Davi before he saw her.

"Dad! Dad! Dad!"

Gerard moved through the crowd until he spotted Bert with Davi's carseat in one hand and Davi on his hip, waving her arms around and looking like she might fall at any minute.

"Davi girl!" Gerard said as he dropped his carry-on and pulled her into his arms. "I missed you, baby." He shifted her to one hip and held out an arm to hug Bert. "Missed you too," he said.

Bert put his arms around them both and kissed Gerard.

Gerard picked up his carry-on and they began walking toward baggage claim. "Is she feeling better?" he asked.

Bert nodded. "She got over the cold pretty quick." He smiled widely. "Nice move last night."

Gerard looked over at him questioningly.

"Camera phones," Bert explained. "Your big kiss has been the hot download on the internet all morning."

"Oh my god," Gerard said. "I didn't mean for it to be this big thing."

Bert swung the empty car seat and giggled. "I told you to kill them with kisses, and you did it. Nice work."

They took a cab to the Skate America Tour, a monster operation with five stages and a sea of buses. They brought Gerard's things into The Used's bus, where Quinn was sitting on the couch without a shirt on.

"I'm going to do you the hugest favor." Quinn said. "In return, I expect no less than one kidney." He took Davi out of Gerard's arms. "We're gonna go visit Uncle Jeph and Uncle Brandon on the Sober Bus."

"Puppies!" Davi yelled out, referring to the two dogs Brandon took on tour with him.

"You sure?" Bert asked.

Quinn smiled. "You two get reacquainted."

They shoved Gerard's bags under the bunks, and then Bert crawled into his bunk, gesturing for Gerard to follow. They started kissing and fumbling at each other's clothes immediately.

"I jerked off so much when you were gone," Bert whispered. "I want to be in you. Can I?"

"Yeah," Gerard panted out. He rolled over to face the wall. Bert licked up the curve of Gerard's neck and bit on his earlobe. He retrieved some lube from under his pillow, rubbed them both down liberally, and then gently pushed inside Gerard.

"Oh," Gerard said.

Bert moved slowly, burying his face in Gerard's hair and breathing heavily. He reached over to grip Gerard's dick.

"Did you jerk off when I was gone?" Bert growled into his ear.

"All the time," Gerard whispered.

"What did you think about?"

"You. This." Gerard moaned softly. "You fucking me."

They writhed against each other until they were so spent that Bert was licking sweat off Gerard's face. Bert brought Gerard off swiftly with his hand, then angled himself so he could get in a few hard thrusts and come himself.

They lay in the bunk naked and out of breath for a few minutes, and then Bert got up to get a bottle of water. They shared the water in silence, then put their clothes on and went outside to have a cigarette.

"It's weird," Bert said after a minute. "Having Davi in the next bus, just for an hour, it feels weird." He took a drag of his cigarette. "I can't imagine living without her." He looked over at Gerard and smiled. "You too." He took another hit and exhaled up in the air. "Three years ago I was living in this guy's garage, all alone, and now I have a family."

Gerard nodded. "Three years ago I was living in my mom's basement, and never talking to anyone."

Bert put his arm around him. "And now you have a family."

Gerard put his head on Bert's shoulder. "I have a family."

Gerard held Davi backstage during their shows each night, but Bert brought Davi on to do "I'm A Fake" and brought Gerard on to sing the verses of "Sound Effects and Overdramatics". Since it was a tour with a lot of bands, their set wasn't long, and one night Bert got into a screaming match onstage with one of the promoters because he decided to do an extra two songs.

Other than that, the tour went smoothly. Davi loved Brandon and loved to play with his dogs, she drew pictures and played games with Jeph, and Quinn taught her how to play chords on her toy guitar. Jeph stayed on Brandon's bus to give them more room, and Quinn, Bert, Gerard, and Davi shared the other bus. They put Davi's crib in the front lounge, and Bert and Gerard usually slept with the baby monitor in the cramped bunk with them. Quinn was obviously trying to be considerate of his friend's relationship, since he regularly took Davi for short walks or to visit the other bus so Bert and Gerard could have time alone. Gerard tried to repay the favor, not wanting to be accused of stealing any best friend time, so he offered to take Davi and get out of their way whenever Bert and Quinn were jamming or talking together.

One evening after they'd already performed, Gerard was sitting at the kitchen table and drawing one of his children's books for Davi while Bert played with a ball he'd found with Davi in the parking lot. Gerard had gotten through three pages when Bert walked into the bus, holding Davi, and followed by Quinn.

"You mind watching her for a bit?" Bert asked.

"No problem." Gerard took her from him and looked at her eyes. "You look sleepy, baby."

"Naptime Dad," Davi said.

"Thanks!" Bert called out as he and Quinn disappeared into the back lounge and shut the door.

Gerard set Davi down in her crib and watched her until her eyes closed. Then he went back to his drawings. He was almost finished with the frame of Davi battling Dr. Meanie on Mars when he heard a ringing noise, and saw Bert's cell phone on the kitchen counter.

Gerard opened the door to the back lounge and was immediately overwhelmed by marijuana smoke. On the couch, Bert and Quinn were cuddled under a blanket and giggling. When they saw Gerard, they both got quiet, and Bert even looked a little guilty.

"Your phone rang," Gerard said, holding it out to him.

"Thanks," Bert said.

Gerard nodded and walked out, closing the door behind him.

After another page of his book, Gerard got tired, so he set up the baby monitor and climbed into Bert's bunk with it. A few minutes later Bert joined him, having stripped to his underwear, and cuddled up beside Gerard.

"The smoke can give her asthma," Gerard whispered.

"I'm sorry," Bert replied. "I thought...it's the other end of the bus..."

Gerard sighed. "Don't tell Quinn I said anything. I don't want him to hate me."

Bert kissed the end of Gerard's nose. "He already hates you."

Gerard frowned. "He does? Why?"

"He thinks you took my buttsex virginity," Bert said, stifling a giggle.

"Shut up." Gerard put an arm around Bert and kissed him just under his ear. "Are you having sex with him?"

"No," Bert said, still laughing. "He's been dating Emma for like two years. Where the fuck have you been?"

"But you're so close..."

"I love him," Bert said, suddenly serious. "But we're not fucking; I promise you." He turned his head so he could kiss Gerard on the mouth. "It's just gotta suck for him. Because I loved him with all of my heart, and then you came along, and you took some of that." He kissed Gerard again. "So he's probably always gonna hate you a little bit."

Gerard nodded. "Could you tell him I'd never take you away from him?"

"Tell him yourself. He's probably listening."

"I am listening," Quinn said from his bunk on the opposite side of the bus. "Shut the fuck up so I can go to sleep."

Bert buried his face in Gerard's neck and laughed.

"I don't want to steal your best friend," Gerard called out.

"Okay," Quinn replied. "I don't hate you...that much."

"Thank you." Gerard kissed the top of Bert's head and closed his eyes.

When the tour ended both bands took a much-needed break, and Gerard, Bert and Davi returned to their L.A. home. They were lazy for the first few days, sleeping all day and making playing with Davi their priority. After a week Brian came to visit, and spent his first day there just cleaning.

"I'd blow you for this, but we're monogamous now," Bert said from where he was lying on the couch eating peanut butter out of the jar with his fingers. Beside him, Davi was playing with some action figures and licking Bert's fingers whenever he presented them to her.

Brian looked up from where he was collecting armfuls of toys to bring upstairs. "I appreciate the sentiment."

In the fall, a woman from Penguin books came to look at the children's books Gerard had written for Davi. It was a big deal for Gerard, which Bert realized when Gerard took a shower and brushed his hair. Bert washed himself, gave Davi a bath, and dressed in clothes that didn't smell particularly bad.

When the woman, Angela, arrived, she went with Gerard into his studio and they shut the door. After a half hour, Bert got curious, so he picked up Davi and walked into the room. Gerard and Angela were hunched over a spread of Gerard's bound Davi books, muttering to each other. When they heard the door open, Angela straightened up and smiled.

"Your partner is very talented," she said to Bert.

Bert winced. He hated the word 'partner'. It made him feel like he and Gerard were fighting crime together, and he knew that, if Gerard realized this, he'd probably never stop using the word. "Yeah," Bert replied. "He gives great head too."

"Bert!" Gerard said.

"I'm kidding," Bert said to Angela. "He gives really sloppy blowjobs."

"Dad my books," Davi said, reaching out toward the table.

"We'll read some later," Gerard promised her.

Angela turned to Gerard. "So if you could make those sketches we discussed and send them to our New York office, we can start pre-production right away."

Gerard looked at Bert and beamed. "They're gonna publish Davi's books. Can you fucking believe it?"

"Congratulations." Bert tickled Davi's tummy. "You're gonna be famous, baby."

They spent Christmas in Jersey again, and Gerard spent some time working with the rest of MCR. They had demos recorded from when they were on tour, and they decided to put out an EP. Bert took Davi home while Gerard spent a month recording, and they made use of their webcams again. One night Gerard was awakened at 3 a.m. by his beeping messenger program, and he opened it to find Bert naked and stroking himself on the computer screen.

"Where's Davi?" Gerard asked.

"Where the fuck do you think? Asleep," Bert said. "Do something sexy."

Gerard frowned. "Like what?"

"I don't know," Bert said, still stroking. "Sing something."

Gerard began singing one of MCR's new songs, a song about a werewolf serial killer. He was barely halfway through it when Bert interrupted him.

"No, no," Bert said. "That's awful."

"That's our next single."

"It's a good song," Bert said quickly. "But the line 'bloody dripping foaming fangs' isn't exactly making me hard."

Gerard sighed. "It's a small word after all," he sang. "It's a small world after all. / It's a small world after all. / It's a small, small world."

"Fuck you," Bert said, but he went back to work on his dick.

"It's a world of laughter a world of tears. / It's a world of hope and a world of fears. / There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware / It's a small world after all."

Bert grunted as he increased the speed of his stroking. "Keep going," he said.

"There is just one moon and one golden sun. / And a smile means friendship to everyone. / Though the oceans are wide and the mountains will rise / It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. / It's a small world after all. / It's a small, small world."

Bert moaned and came all over his hand.

"You're really sick," Gerard said.

Bert smiled. "Love you too. Call me tomorrow." And he turned off the webcam.

Right before she turned two Davi got in the habit of screaming whenever she wanted something. One night Gerard was sitting on the edge of their bed, with Bert on his knees on the floor with Gerard's dick in his mouth, when a sudden, piercing scream came from Davi's room. They dashed into her room, only to find her standing in her crib.

"I can have juice?" she asked.

"Davi, what the fuck?" Bert asked, but he went downstairs and got her sippy cup anyway.

From then on she would scream at the top of her lungs to signal everything from a dirty diaper to wanting someone to play ball with her. Once at the grocery store she shrieked in the frozen food aisle. Gerard panicked as everyone around them turned to stare, and he immediately went to Davi's side.

Davi smiled sweetly. "Tater tots?"

"She learned this from you," Gerard said accusingly as he collapsed on the couch after Davi's screams sent him running into her bedroom only to find that she couldn't reach her stuffed bunny.

Bert put his arm around him. "She'll outgrow it."

Gerard laughed. "You didn't."

The Used starting recording with John Feldmann in the Spring, and while there were a few late sessions, most nights Bert was at home in time to tuck Davi into bed. The first two books in the series "The Adventures of Davi" were released, and Penguin wanted to keep them coming, so Gerard spent most of his time working on the books in his studio and having conference calls with Angela in New York. Davi mellowed out a bit on her screaming, though she still used it whenever she felt people weren't paying attention to her as quickly as they should. Bert took her into the studio one day, and one of their new songs featured her screaming, while another had her giggling.

Both MCR's EP (The Killer in You Just Got Loose) and The Used's album (Screaming Beauty) came out in late summer, and they arranged another co-headlining tour, which lasted from August to December, with Digging for Blood as their opener. Bert, Gerard, and Davi got their own bus again, but by then they decided Davi was big enough to sleep in a bunk, so they left the crib home.

At two and a half, Davi was walking around easily, so they had to keep an eye on her constantly. Late one night she woke up, got out of bed, and dumped a box of cereal all over the kitchen floor, then proceeded to sit and play in it until Bert found her. Another night, during MCR's set, Bert turned away from her for a minute to talk to Quinn, and when he turned back she was gone. He found her just a few yards away. She'd gone up to one of Digging for Blood's techs and said, "Hi! I'm Davi McCracken. Do you like my Daddy's band?" When the tech teasingly said, "No", Davi kicked him in the shin. "That's my girl," Bert said as he lifted her into his arms.

Though Gerard, Brian, and everyone else he asked told Bert it was a bad idea, he decided to toilet train Davi while they were on tour. At one of their long stops, he bought some pull-ups and a small plastic potty, which he put in the bus' already-cramped bathroom. He introduced Davi to the concept during one of their off days, and she eyed him suspiciously as he sat on the tiny potty and yelled, "I'm poopin'! Hooray!" She continued to go in her new pull-ups, until one day during soundcheck when she asked Brandon if she could play his drums.

"They're some pretty big drums," Brandon said to her. "Are you a big girl?"

"I'm a big girl!" Davi said excitedly. "I have a potty. I'm gonna go pee in it."

Brandon ruffled her hair. "When you're done peeing, come back and I'll teach you some drums."

Davi rushed over to where Bert was talking to Jeph and shouted, "Daddy, I have to go pee in the potty!"

Jeph, Quinn, half the members of Digging for Blood, and a handful of crew and techs all applauded.

A few nights later, after Gerard and Bert had taken Davi to the bathroom and praised her for using the potty, Gerard was reading in their bunk when Bert crawled in beside him. The reading light hit Bert's bare torso, and Gerard noticed a few small bruises on his left arm.

Gerard took Bert's left hand and extended his arm to examine the damage. "What happened?"

"Hit a mic stand when I was flailing around onstage," Bert said. He took his arm back and cuddled up next to Gerard.

Gerard had watched The Used's entire set that night, and didn't remember Bert knocking over a mic stand. He turned off the light and put his arm around Bert. "Are you using?" he whispered.

"What? No," Bert said. "Fuck, I haven't even gotten drunk this whole tour."

Gerard had actually seen him pounding beers with Dave from Digging for Blood before a show more than once, but he figured that, to Bert, anything short of blacking out was sobriety. Gerard gave Bert a quick squeeze. "I just want you and Davi to be okay."

Bert moved his head up and kissed him. "We're okay," he said. "Everything's okay."

The next night, in the beginning of their second song, Bert grabbed his stomach and collapsed onstage.

"Daddy!" Davi shrieked out.

Gerard ran out on stage and knelt beside Bert, where Quinn, Jeph, and Brandon were already trying to revive him with water. His forehead was warm and he was sweating. "I've called an ambulance," he heard Rebecca say. "Is he conscious?"

"No," Quinn said. "But he's breathing."

Davi appeared beside Gerard and grabbed his arm. "Dad what's wrong?"

Gerard hugged her to his chest. "Daddy's sick, but he'll be okay."

The ambulance arrived quickly, and Gerard and Davi got into the back with Bert, while Quinn, Jeph, Brandon, and Rebecca followed in her car. Bert woke up while he was in the ambulance, and Davi grabbed onto his hand, her eyes wet. "Daddy," she said.

"My stomach hurts," Bert said, his voice weak. "And my back."

"We're giving you painkillers now," the EMT said as she set up an I.V.

"Daddy," Davi said, her voice threatening tears.

Bert weakly lifted his hand and put it on her head. "I'm okay, baby." Then he turned his head to the other side and threw up.

When they got to the hospital, Gerard and Davi were instructed to wait in the waiting room while Bert was admitted and assigned to a room. As soon as Bert's gurney was rolled away, Davi started crying. The rest of the band arrived, and they took turns holding Davi and trying to calm her down. Eventually she fell asleep on Jeph's lap. Soon after the rest of MCR arrived, along with Digging for Blood, and the waiting room was packed with tattooed men speaking in hushed voices.

"All right," a nurse said after a few hours had passed. "Is anyone here family?"

"I am," Gerard said, stepping forward. "I'm his partner and this is our daughter." Jeph stood up and passed him the sleeping Davi. "Can we see him?"

The nurse led them to a room on the second floor, where Bert was lying looking pale and thin in the center of the hospital bed, hooked up to two I.V.s. He smiled weakly when he saw them enter. "She okay?"

Gerard nodded. "She only cried a little." He nudged Davi awake. "Hey Davi girl. Want to say hi to your Daddy?"

Gerard placed her on the floor and she stretched to hug Bert. "Daddy I love you."

"I love you too, baby," Bert said. "I'm gonna be okay."

A doctor entered holding a piece of paper. Gerard sat down in the plastic bedside chair and pulled Davi into his lap.

"The scan was negative for gallstones," the doctor said. "So your pancreatitis was likely caused by alcohol abuse." He looked up and smiled at Gerard and Davi. "Aren't you precious?"

"Yeah," Bert said. "The baby's cute too, right?"

"I'm Dr. Medina," the man said, shaking Gerard's hand.

"I'm Gerard and this is Davi," Gerard said. "So it's pancreatitis? Is that serious?"

The doctor shook his head. "We'll keep him on pain meds and fluids for about 12 hours, and by then the swelling should go down, and he'll be fine."

"But it's caused by alcohol?"

Dr. Medina turned to Bert. "Do you drink heavily?"

Bert gave Gerard a quick glance, then cleared his throat. "Yeah," he said. "Pretty much every day."

Dr. Medina made a note on Bert's chart. "You need to cut down, or this'll just happen again."

Bert nodded.

The doctor left the room. Gerard placed Davi on the bed beside Bert, and Bert held her gently. "I'm gonna see if Quinn can come in," Gerard said. "I'm sure he wants to see you."

"Gerard -" Bert began.

Gerard leaned down and kissed him. "We can argue about it later. It's okay."

Gerard postponed the argument until Bert was feeling better, and then he postponed it until the end of the tour, and then he didn't want to start a big fight before Christmas. Instead of confronting Bert, Gerard waited until he was out one day and did a thorough search of the house, but he didn't find any liquor. He decided Bert had just been drinking on tour, where it was so readily available, and though he kept a close eye on Bert's behavior, he figured he was relatively clean.

They settled in a comfortable routine at home, with Gerard working on the new series of The Umbrella Academy and Bert spending most of his time with Davi. He was determined to teach her how to play the piano, and she picked it up slowly but steadily. One afternoon Gerard went down to the basement to watch them work, and was shocked to see Davi playing a classical piece. Suddenly Davi banged her fists down on the keys, shrieked out, "Fuck fuck fuck elephant!" and then turned to Bert and quietly said, "That's for The Used to record, Daddy."

One night Gerard was at his weekly AA meeting in the basement of a church when he heard a familiar voice say, "There are donuts here? Fucking score!" He turned to see Bert standing at the snack table, with Davi holding onto one of his hands. Bert handed her a donut, grabbed his own, and made his way down the rows of chairs to where Gerard was sitting.

"What are you doing here?" Gerard asked.

"Figured it was time," Bert said through a mouthful of donut. "Who's in charge?"

Gerard gestured at a man sitting in the front row. "Marvin."

Bert picked Davi up and set her in a chair next to Gerard. "Stay with Dad for a minute, okay?"

"Kay," Davi said, and she began to work on her donut.

Bert stood and talked to Marvin for about five minutes, then sat back down on the other side of Davi. Davi, having finished her donut, considered the chocolate frosting all over her hands, then wiped it in Bert's hair.

"I can't believe you're here," Gerard said.

Bert looked over at the poster on the wall listing the 12 steps. "They let you pick your own higher power, right? Do you think Brandon could be mine?"

Marvin walked to the podium at the front of the room and cleared his throat to get the group's attention, though the group consisted of less than ten people. "Good evening," he said. "My name's Marvin, and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Marvin," the group said.

"We have two new people tonight, and one has already volunteered to speak," Marvin said. "Bert?"

Bert stood up and walked to the podium. Davi looked up at him and clapped.

"Hey," Bert said. "How's everybody doing tonight?" He grabbed the sides of the podium and smiled nervously. "I'm Bert, and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Bert," the group said.

"I'm into drugs too," Bert continued. "I'm pretty much addicted to everything, I guess. I'm not sure what else to say." He looked over at Gerard. "But you guys know Gerard, right? I bet he never shuts the fuck up." Bert gestured to Gerard. "I'm with him, and that's our daughter Davi."

Davi held both her hands in the air and waved them. "I'm Davi McCracken and I'm almost three!" She held up three fingers proudly.

"You're a big girl," Bert said with a smile.

"Daddy, sing a song."

"Later, baby." Bert cleared his throat. "I guess I came here because I don't want my daughter growing up seeing me getting high and getting sick. I was in the hospital with alcohol-related pancreatitis a few months ago, and when Davi saw me she started crying." He paused to take a deep breath. "And Gerard - I'm afraid he's giving up on me." He looked down. "And I don't want to lose my family." He looked back up. "I guess that's it. Thanks."

Bert sat back down and a few others spoke. When Davi got fussy Bert held her in his arms and she amused herself by eating the frosting out of his hair. After everyone who wanted to had spoken, the meeting ended with a meditation, and then the group gathered around the snack table and chatted while drinking coffee.

"You have a beautiful daughter," a woman, Tracy, said to Bert. She was the other new attendee who had also spoken.

"Thanks," Bert said.

Tracy knelt down to Davi's eye level. "Your Daddy is very brave."

"My Daddy plays the piano," Davi said. "He sings songs and says 'fuck'."

Gerard, who was predictably guzzling his second cup of coffee in the past three minutes, moved closer to the three of them. "Tracy, right? Are you looking for a sponsor?"

Tracy stood up. "I guess I am." She turned to Bert. "Would you..."

"Sure," Bert said. "What exactly is a sponsor? Do you have to have a driver's license? Because mine just got revoked." He tapped Gerard on the shoulder. "Remind me to pay some tickets."

Tracy and Bert exchanged phone numbers, and after chatting with a few more group members, Gerard, Bert, and Davi went out to the parking lot. Bert headed to his car, but Gerard grabbed his arm and pinned him to the chain link fence.

Gerard leaned forward and kissed him. "I'm really proud of you."

Bert put his arms around Gerard. "Don't say that. It makes it sound like I just won the Special Olympics."

Gerard tilted his head down and looked up at him seductively. "Then how about I show you how impressed I am by doing anything you want?"

"You'll always do anything I want." Bert kissed him.

"That's true," Gerard muttered against his lips.

"Hey!" Davi shouted from a few feet away from them. "No more kissing. I want a cookie."

Bert went over and picked her up. "No cookies for you. It's your bedtime."

"Fuck bedtime," Davi said.

Gerard laughed. "We are so fucked when she starts school."

They went home, where they could only get Davi quiet enough to go to sleep by bribing her with cookies. Then Bert and Gerard went to bed. As they settled in under the covers, Gerard said, "Seriously, let's do something. Anything you want."

Bert turned his head so that his face was covered with a veil of hair. "Just say you forgive me."

Gerard pulled him into a hug. "I'll always forgive you."

The next day Bert and Davi were eating cereal out of the same bowl while watching cartoons when Gerard walked into the room, cradling his second cup of coffee.

"I know it's short notice," Gerard said. "But my mom's fiftieth birthday is next weekend. You wanna take a short trip to Jersey?"

"Shit," Bert said. "Insert the Foreshadowing's coming to town to record with John, and I said I'd do some keyboards and vocals for them. Quinn's coming up too."

"It's not a big deal," Gerard said. "Want me to take Davi so you don't have to get a babysitter?"

"She doesn't mind recording," Bert said, smoothing out her hair. "But your mom would love to see her." He nudged Davi. "Wanna see Grandma?"

Gerard nodded. "I'll buy the plane tickets."

"I love Grandma," Davi said. She reached into the milky bowl, removed a marshmallow, and inserted it into Bert's ear. "That's for you, Daddy."

"Thank you, baby," Bert said, and he continued eating.

After so many Christmases in Jersey, Davi was an old pro at flying, and behaved well on the plane. Despite it being Donna's birthday, she'd bought a pile of gifts for Davi, and Davi happily played with her new toys as the house filled with relatives and friends. Half of those in attendance got sloppy drunk, including Ray and Gerard's eighty year-old Uncle Tony. Halfway through the party Gerard and Mikey retreated to the old basement bedroom and used Gerard's laptop to make lengthy anonymous posts on X-men message boards.

Gerard and Davi took a morning flight back on Monday, and arrived at their house while it was still early. Davi kicked off her shoes just inside the door and shouted, "Daddy!"

"Shhh," Gerard said. "He's probably sleeping. And Uncle Quinn might still be visiting."

Davi spotted her stuffed bunny at the other side of the living room and ran to get it. Halfway there, she tripped, shouted "Ow!", and sat down on the floor.

"What's wrong?" Gerard asked as he hauled their suitcases toward the stairway.

"I stepped on something," Davi said.

"What'd you step on?" Gerard asked. He walked over to her, and spotted the syringe lying on the floor beside her.

"A needle," Davi said.

Gerard felt his entire body go cold. "It's okay, sweetheart," he said. "You just need a bandaid. Stay right there."

Gerard went into the downstairs bathroom and got a bandaid. He knelt down next to Davi and put it over the small puncture wound in her heel. Then he went into the kitchen and got a ziploc bag. He picked up the needle and put it in the ziploc bag.

"You wanna take a nap?" Gerard asked her as he took her hand and helped her to her feet.

"No," Davi said. "Can I play with my new toys?"

"Sure." Gerard carried her suitcase up to her bedroom, then knelt down in front of her. "Can you play by yourself for a little bit?"

Davi nodded.

"I'll be right back," Gerard said.

He left Davi's room, shutting the door behind him, and went into his and Bert's bedroom. Bert was lying asleep on top of the blankets.

"Bert," Gerard said. "Bert, wake up."

Bert's eyes slowly opened, and he smiled. "You're back. Where's Davi?"

Gerard held up the bag with the needle in it. "What the fuck is this?"

Bert paled. "What?"

Gerard's hand shook as he moved closer to the bed. "What the fuck is this?"

Bert pushed himself up on his elbows. "Insert the Foreshadowing was here last night. They must've -"

"Davi stepped on it," Gerard said, his voice shaking. "She stepped on a used needle and God knows what kind of diseases -"

Bert stood up, his eyes panicked. "Where is she?"

Gerard pushed him backwards a step, and he fell into a sitting position on the bed. "Don't you fucking go near her," Gerard said. "And don't treat me like an idiot. There's no way someone was shooting up in this house and it wasn't you."

"Gerard -"

"I'm taking her to the hospital," Gerard said. He turned and walked out the door.

"Let me come with you," Bert called after him.

Gerard walked into the hallway, where Quinn was standing in his doorway yawning. Bert followed him toward Davi's room. Gerard stopped at Davi's door and spun around to face him.

"You have no idea how much I hate you right now," Gerard said. "Get the fuck away from me."

"Let me see her," Bert said. "Is she okay?"

"She's not!" Gerard shouted. "She just got exposed to every blood-bourne disease in the world, and it's your fault!"

Davi's door opened and she appeared, a confused look on her face. "Why you're yelling Dad?" She spotted Bert and held her arms out. "Hi Daddy."

"Hi baby," Bert said. He reached out for her, but Gerard pushed him back.

"Hey," Quinn said, shuffling out of his room and moving toward them. "What's going on?"

"Don't get involved in this," Gerard warned him. He turned back to Bert. "I'm taking her to the hospital."

"Let me come," Bert said.

"What happened?" Quinn asked.

"Go ahead!" Gerard yelled, pointing at Quinn. "Tell him what you did! Or was he the one you shared the needle with?"

"What?" Quinn said.

Bert grabbed Gerard's arm. "Let me come with you, please."

Gerard shook him off and knelt down in front of Davi. "We have to go to a doctor for your foot, okay, sweetheart?"

Davi threw a confused look at Bert, but took Gerard's hand when he offered it.

Bert put his hand to his head. "Will you call me at least?"

Gerard ignored him and hurried Davi down the stairs.

At the emergency room, it was early enough in the day that they got a bed rather quickly. Gerard, nervous about Social Services, told the nurse that Davi had been playing barefoot outside when she stepped on the needle on the sidewalk. They took the needle and took some blood from Davi. Gerard winced and turned away when they were drawing the blood.

"My Dad's scared," Davi informed the nurse. "But it's okay. I'm strong and brave."

"You sure are," the nurse said with a smile. She finished filling the vial, put a bandaid on Davi's arm, and gave her a lollipop. "The doctor will be in shortly."

Davi got antsy during the hour they had to wait, but Gerard managed to subdue her by getting her to sing all the songs she knew. She was able to reproduce much of MCR and The Used's entire catalogs, plus some songs that were popular on the radio, and some oldies Donna had taught her. She really had a beautiful voice.

The doctor was an older woman named Dr. Warner. She commented on Davi's singing ability, noting that the whole ER was enjoying it, and then she turned to Gerard.

"There wasn't enough blood in the syringe to test it," she told Gerard. "But Davi tested positive for acute Hepatitis B."

"Oh my God," Gerard said.

"The acute infection usually spontaneously clears," Dr. Warner assured him. "Since Davi's so young, there's some risk it won't, so I'm going to give her a cocktail of antivirals. These will also protect her against any possible HIV infection."

"But she didn't test positive for HIV?" Gerard asked.

"No, but HIV antibodies don't appear as fast as Hepatitis does," Dr. Warner said. "We'll have to re-test her in three weeks to be sure." She took a syringe out of her pocket. "And we'll keep re-testing for the Hepatitis B until it's cleared. I'll make several follow-up appointments for you."

"Thank you," Gerard said as he closed his eyes and put his hands over his face.

"Um...Mr. Way?"

"Dad's scared of needles," Davi said. "But I'm not. I'm a superhero."

"You're a superhero?" Dr. Warner asked.

"I'm in a book," Davi bragged. "All done, Dad!"

Gerard opened his eyes as Dr. Warner disposed of the used needle.

"I'll be right back with some appointment cards," she said.

Gerard gave Davi a hug. "I have to go to the bathroom," he told her. "Will you be okay by yourself for a few minutes?"

Davi nodded.

Gerard walked to the bathroom at the end of the hall, locked the door, sat on the toilet, and cried as silently as he could.

When they got home, Bert and Quinn were sitting on the couch, talking in hushed voices. They stood up as Gerard and Davi entered.

"Hi Daddy," Davi said, rushing up to him and hugging his legs. "Hi Uncle Quinn."

"Is she okay?" Bert asked.

"She has Hepatitis B," Gerard told him. "But she should be okay." He looked at Quinn. "Would you take her to her room?"

Quinn eyed him suspiciously. "Why can't you?"

"Bert and I have to talk," Gerard said.

Quinn leaned down and took Davi's hand. "Wanna go play in your room, Davi?"

"I got new toys from Grandma," Davi said. "Wanna see?"

As Quinn and Davi disappeared up the stairs, Gerard took the appointment cards out of his pocket and handed them to Bert. "She has follow-up appointments in three weeks, six weeks, and three months. Will you take her?"

"Sure," Bert said. "But why aren't you -"

"I'm leaving," Gerard said. He looked down at his hands. "I'm moving out."

"What?" Bert smiled slightly, as if it was a joke, and then his face darkened. "What are you talking about?"

Gerard looked up at him. "I'm moving out," he repeated. "I'm gonna get a hotel for now and then find my own place." He gestured toward the stairs. "I just wanna pack some clothes, and I'll be back for the rest of it later."

"Gerard!" Bert called out as Gerard took the stairs to their bedroom. Bert followed him into the room, where Gerard took out a duffel bag and began filling it with clothes.

"Gerard, it was an accident," Bert said. "I didn't mean for her to get hurt. You can't just..."

Gerard hurried to get everything into his bag and zipped it up.

"This is stupid. You can't just leave me," Bert said. "You can't leave Davi."

"I'm not leaving Davi," Gerard said. He took a deep breath. "I'm gonna get a lawyer and petition for custody."

"You son of a bitch," Bert pushed Gerard hard, and he fell backwards onto the bed. "You can't take her. She's my daughter."

Gerard pushed back, and Bert collided with the wall behind him. "She's my daughter too!"

"I didn't let you adopt her so you could fucking kidnap her!" Bert shouted.

"I didn't adopt her so you could fucking kill her!" Gerard shouted back.

Quinn rushed into the room. "Would you both shut the fuck up? You're scaring her." He looked at the duffel bag on the bed and then at Bert and Gerard's faces. "What's going on?"

"I'm moving out," Gerard said. "Can you stay with him a little while and make sure he doesn't -"

Bert turned and punched a hole in the wall.

Quinn put his hand on Bert's shoulder as Bert extracted his bloody hand from the wall. Quinn turned to Gerard. "What are you talking about, moving out?"

Gerard picked up his duffel bag. "I'll call when I find a place, and I'll empty out my studio."

Bert grabbed the collar of Gerard's shirt, smearing it and his neck with blood. "Fuck you; you don't get to leave like this."

"Bert," Quinn said, gripping his arm to hold him back.

Bert struggled to get out of Quinn's grip. "You lying sack of shit! Don't you ever come near my daughter again!"

Gerard took a step back and tore himself out of Bert's hold. "I'm sorry, but -"

"Get the fuck out of here," Quinn said.

With one last look at Bert, Gerard hurried down the stairs and out the door.

His first night in the hotel he couldn't sleep at all. Gerard considered calling Mikey, Frank, or his sponsor, but ended up calling Brian instead. He woke him up at 2 a.m. and told him the whole story, not realizing until the end that he was crying, and that Brian hadn't said a word.

"I'll be out there tomorrow," Brian finally said.

Brian helped Gerard find an apartment, a new two-bedroom in a complex just a few blocks from Bert's house, with a big living room that got excellent sunlight. Brian called Quinn and arranged a time when they would be out of the house, when Gerard could come pick up the rest of his things. They rented a van and cleaned out Gerard's closet and studio.

Brian also helped Gerard find a lawyer who specialized in custody matters, and before long they had a court date for a hearing. Since Gerard had lied to the hospital about where Davi had stepped on the needle, they couldn't use that in their arguments, but the lawyer was confident that Bert's drug use would be enough to get Gerard custody. By then Brian had to get back to work, but Mikey and Frank flew out to be with him at the hearing.

The courtroom was too small, and it made Gerard uncomfortable to be just a few seats away from Bert, who'd arrived with Jeph and Brandon. Bert had a cast on his arm, and didn't look at Gerard throughout the hearing.

"We're here to discuss the custody matter of David B. McCracken," the judge said. "I've reviewed the written character references and your pre-hearing statements. Mr. McCracken," she looked up at Bert. "You were ordered by this court to take three drugs tests prior to this hearing, and you tested positive for illicit substances in all three tests. However, the presence of drugs alone does not legally take away your custodial rights. Mr. Way," she turned to Gerard. "You have a legal right to custody of David as well." She looked down at the file in front of her. "Therefore I am awarding both of you joint custody of David. The court clerk will arrange an appointment with all parties and a mediator to determine the terms of the joint custody agreement."

"Is this a good thing?" Frank whispered to Gerard.

Gerard nodded. "I'll get to see her again."

"Motherfucker," he heard Bert mutter, but then Jeph had his arm around Bert and was hurrying him out of the courtroom.

The meeting with the mediator was the next week, and they were told not to bring other parties. Gerard sat on one side of a table with his lawyer, while Bert sat on the other side with his lawyer, and the mediator, an overly cheerful man named Sean, sat at the head of the table. As Sean reviewed the court transcript, Gerard watched Bert, until Bert looked up and caught his eye.

"How is she?" Gerard asked.

"Fuck you," Bert said.

Sean looked up from his paperwork with a big smile. "Now that's not in the spirit of mediation."

Bert returned his smile. "Fuck you too."

After over an hour of discussion, they finally agreed that Gerard would get Davi every other weekend, and for a month over the summer. Since both men toured frequently, there would be no restrictions on travel, though missed visits would have to be made up, and the other party would have to be informed before Davi was taken out of state.

"When do the weekends start?" Gerard asked as they were finishing up.

"You can take her this weekend if you want," Bert said.

Gerard smiled. "Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"You know what?" Bert said as he stood up and patted down his pockets, looking for his cigarettes. "Don't talk to me like we're fucking friends." He took a cigarette out of his front pocket and put it in his mouth unlit. "Come by for her Friday at six." He looked at Sean. "Are we done here?"

Sean nodded. "I'll mail you a copy of our agreement."

Friday at six Gerard knocked on the door of Bert's house, even though he still had a key. Quinn answered.

"Hey," Quinn said.

Behind him, Davi squealed out, "Dad!" and ran over to him.

"My little Davi girl," Gerard said as he lifted her into his arms and hugged her.

"I missed you Dad," she said. "Were you on the moon?"

"Something like that." Gerard looked at Quinn. "Where's Bert?"

Quinn's mouth tightened. "He doesn't want to see you."

"Oh," Gerard said. "Is he okay?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" Quinn said with a sigh. "He's a fucking mess. We're gonna start recording next week, even though we don't have shit written, just to give him something to do besides try to kill himself."

"Has he been using?" Gerard asked, lowering his voice.

"Why, you want to take him to court again?" Quinn snapped.

"Dad can we get ice cream?" Davi asked.

"Just...thank you for looking out for him," Gerard said.

Quinn smiled weakly. "It's kind of my job." He handed over Davi's small suitcase. "She had a good dinner already, and ate all her vegetables, so ice cream is okay."

Davi leaned back so she could see Quinn and waved. "Bye Uncle Quinn."

"Bye, sweetheart," Quinn said.

Gerard sat with Davi at a picnic table outside an ice cream stand and watched as she got more strawberry ice cream on her clothes than she did in her mouth.

"Why you're not at home Dad?" Davi said between mouthfuls.

"I have a new house," Gerard explained. "Me and your Daddy aren't going to live together anymore."

Davi looked confused.

"But I still love you so much, Davi girl," Gerard said, stroking her hair. "You know that, right?"

"I love you too Dad," Davi said. "And I love Uncle Quinn. And I love Daddy. He's sick."

"He's sick?"

Davi stuck her entire hand into her ice cream cone, then extracted it and began licking it. "Daddy hit the wall open three times and he puked a lot." She bit into the cone and a bit of ice cream fell onto her lap.

Gerard took a napkin and tried to wipe off Davi's pants. "Is Daddy okay now?"

"Daddy puked today," Davi said. "Uncle Quinn put him to bed." She shoved the rest of the ice cream cone into her mouth, then sneezed.

Gerard had already set up Davi's bedroom, with a small bed, some toys, and some books. He left one of the walls clear of furniture and had lined up multicolored cans of paint. "See that?" he said to Davi as she looked around the room.

"We're painting?" Davi asked excitedly.

"We're gonna paint a mural on the wall tomorrow," Gerard told her. "Anything you want."

"Can it be me?"

Gerard nodded.

"Can there be dinosaurs?" Davi squealed.

The next day they finalized the concept - Davi fighting dinosaurs on Saturn - and Gerard sketched it out onto the wall. He kept Davi occupied filling in small sections of the rings while he stood on a stepladder and did most of the work. They took a break for lunch, then finished just in time for dinner. They went out to a diner, and when they came home the paint had mostly dried. Davi squealed with joy at the sight of it. Gerard took some pictures of the wall and e-mailed them to Donna.

"Send them to Daddy!" Davi said from beside the computer.

"I don't think your Daddy wants to get e-mail from me," Gerard said softly. "I'll print one and you can give it to him, okay?"

When Gerard dropped Davi back at Bert's Sunday night, Quinn answered the door again, but he could see Bert in the living room, watching television. There was an open bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table in front of him.

"Hi Uncle Quinn," Davi said, giving his legs a hug. She looked back at Gerard. "Come on. It's dinner time."

Gerard handed Davi's suitcase to Quinn. "I can't come in," he told Davi. "I'll see you in two weeks, sweetheart."

Davi looked up at him, confused. "You can see Daddy. Come on."

Gerard crouched down and gave Davi a hug. "I'll miss you, Davi girl."

"Miss you," Davi muttered into his shoulder.

For the next few months Gerard lived an oddly quiet life. He exchanged Umbrella Academy proofs with Dark Horse, sent The Adventures of Davi maniscripts to Penguin, and e-mailed demos back and forth with Ray. He looked forward to his weekends with Davi, and started trying to get her into art. They went to every museum in the area, Gerard got Davi her own art supplies, and eventually they did murals on the other three walls of her room. The Used were recording demos in Bert's basement, so when Gerard picked up and dropped off Davi, he could usually hear noises coming from downstairs. Quinn, Jeph, or Brandon would always answer the door.

Gerard's mother tried to convince him to move back to Jersey permanently, but Gerard didn't want to lose his visits with Davi. But the band was anxious to get back into the studio. Gerard called Brian and set up a tentative timeline for recording and touring. Then he called Bert. When Bert didn't pick up, he called Quinn.

"Yeah?" Quinn said.

"I need to ask him about the summer visitation," Gerard said.

"Okay," Quinn said. "Ask me."

"Can I have her for July? We'll be recording in Jersey, staying at my mom's house."

"Hold on a second."

Gerard heard the phone being put down, and the sound of talking in the background, though he couldn't make out any words. After a few minutes Quinn returned to the phone.

"That's fine," Quinn said. "We go out on tour July 15th, and we're in New York August 1st, so we'll pick her up."

"Can I pick her up July 1st from there?"

"Yeah. Call before you come."

Gerard paused. "How is he?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "Better. But no offense, Gerard, but it's not any of your business anymore."

Gerard opened his mouth to say something insulting, but thought twice about it and just hung up.

When July came around Gerard picked up Davi from Quinn and they flew to Jersey. Mikey offered to let Gerard stay with him, but Gerard decided to stay in his old basement bedroom at his mother's house. The whole band had exchanged some demos, so they already had some idea about the album, but no one had heard Gerard's concept for it. They met at Mikey's apartment and everone sat around the living room as Gerard took out various sketches and props, including a smalll doll and a bunch of masks. Davi sat on the floor and politely clapped every time Gerard handed out another item.

"The concept is," Gerard said once his sketches had circulated among all of them. "That a man dies, and death comes for him in the form of his fondest memory, which is a parade."

Frank raised his hand. "Are there any sea creatures?"

"No," Gerard said.

Frank smiled and kicked Mikey. "You owe me ten bucks. I had death and you had sea creatures."

"Yeah, but no one had parades," Mikey countered.

"I had amusement parks," Bob said. "I want credit for that."

Gerard put his hand to his chin. "There has to be a way to work in sea creatures."

Ray patted him on the back. "Let's stick with the death parade, okay?"

Bob picked up one of the masks. "I'm gonna have wear make-up again, aren't I?" he muttered.

"Yay Dad!" Davi said, and started clapping again.

Gerard brought Davi to the recording studio with them every day, taking along a small bag packed with a book, her sketchbook, and a snack. She would flip through her picture book or draw quietly most of the time, and bonded well with their producer Rob, who let her sit next to him and watch whenever the band was recording. When the band took a break, Davi would frequently sneak into the recording space and play with the instruments. She still knew all the guitar chords Quinn had taught her, and she fell in love with the drums, to the point where Bob had to physically remove her from the drumset when they were ready to go back to work. "Uncle Bob!" she would scream, her legs kicking wildly. "Let me hit more!"

One afternoon the five of them were standing around the control room when there was a sudden smashing sound, and they looked up to see Davi at the drums. "I am the Black Parade!" she screamed, then smashed the sticks against the drums again. "I'm gonna fucking kill you with my parade!"

After that, she was banned from the drums, so she took up the keyboard. She invented original compositions which, while simple, showed her obvious mastery of the piano. Her songs ranged from "I love my Dad" to "Peanut Butter and Jelly" to "Suck My Balls".

"Who taught you that last song?" Gerard asked her as the band was packing up for the day.

"I wrote it," Davi said. She took a sip out of her juice cup. "I'm gonna make an album about a peanut butter and jelly that has a parade." She belched. "A parade of death."

"Who taught you 'suck my balls'?" Gerard asked.

"Daddy," Davi said. "That's what he tells people sometimes."

Gerard felt a sudden and unusual pang of loss, as if he wished Bert was with him now, half crazy and full of energy, telling everybody to suck his balls. He wondered if Bert would listen to the new MCR album. Probably not, and it was for the best, Gerard decided, since a few songs had references to him, and Bert would recognize "The Sharpest Lives" as being about him.

About a week into recording, they were having lunch in a nearby Applebee's when Gerard's phone rang. It was Quinn, so he picked up immediately.

"Everything all right?" Gerard answered with.

"Yeah, fine," Quinn said. "He just wants to talk to her."

Gerard handed the phone to Davi. "It's your Daddy."

Davi smiled and took the phone. "Hello?" she said. "Hi Daddy! I miss you!" She listened for a few minutes, alternately saying "uh-huh" and giggling. Then she said, "Okay, Daddy. I love you too. Bye bye." She closed the phone and handed it back to Gerard.

Bert continued calling about once a week using the same method, having Quinn call and then hand off the phone to him. After the month was up, Brandon called Gerard, and they arranged to meet at a gas station right off the George Washington Bridge. Brandon arrived in his manager's car, and Gerard knelt down next to his mother's car to talk to Davi.

"You're gonna go see your Daddy now," he explained. "And it might be a while before I see you again. But remember that I love you, okay?"

"I love you too, Dad," Davi said. She frowned. "How come...how come you and Daddy don't go on tour together? You used to, remember?"

"I remember," Gerard said.

"And you used to kiss," Davi continued, her expression becoming even more confused. "You don't love Daddy anymore?"

"I still care about him a lot," he said, his voice shaking. "But we aren't together anymore."

"Why?" Davi asked.

"I don't..." Gerard blinked back tears. "I don't know how to explain it to you."

Brandon approached them. "Hi, Davi," he said. "You ready to go?"

"I'll get her bags." Gerard moved her suitcases to the other car as Brandon took Davi's hand. Davi was still looking up at Gerard with her little eyebrows knit together.

"I'll see you when the tour ends, okay?" Gerard said.

Brandon helped her into the backseat and put on her seatbelt.

"I love you Dad," she said softly.

"Love you," Gerard choked out.

The Black Parade was released later that year, and MCR immediately went on tour to support it. Brian arranged the tour so that they'd have a week off every two months, and Gerard and Quinn arranged for Davi to visit him during those weeks in leiu of the regular weekend visits. A few months later Gerard was with Davi in his apartment in L.A. when Mikey called him.

"The Used's new album just leaked online," Mikey said. "I'm e-mailing it to you right now."

"I don't need to hear it," Gerard said. He looked over to where Davi was drawing in her sketchbook and smiled when he recognized the gardens they'd visited the previous day.

"I think you do," Mikey said. "You know how we had a concept album? I think this is Bert's concept album. Only instead of a black parade, the concept is...that he wants you to die."

Gerard sighed. "I'll check it out. Thanks." He opened his computer, downloaded the file, and set it to play as he went to work on some Umbrella Academy storyboards next to Davi.

It was just a few notes into the first song when Davi looked up and said, "This is Daddy."

"I thought we'd listen to it," Gerard said. "Do you mind?"

Davi shook her head. "I scream in one of the songs."

Gerard only got through two songs before he turned off the music and picked up his phone.

"Hello?" Quinn said.

"Let me talk to him," Gerard demanded.

"I'm in Utah," Quinn replied. "Call him yourself. He'll pick up if you have Davi."

"Thanks," Gerard said. He dialed Bert.

"What?" Bert said as a greeting. "She okay?"

"She's fine," Gerard said. "I just heard your album."

"The album doesn't come out until the 22nd," Bert replied. "Piracy is a serious crime, and I'm reporting you to the internet police."

Gerard walked out into the hallway. "Did you tell Davi 'Pretty Handsome Awkward' is about me?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Bert said. "There are lots of people I hope choke and die."

"If you have her sing that on stage I'm taking you back to court," Gerard threatened.

"Wait until you hear the ones that are gonna be b-sides," Bert said. "'Slit Your Own Throat' isn't so complimentary either." There was the sound of him lighting a cigarette. "Relax, asshole. She doesn't know. Besides, I should fucking sue you for 'The Sharpest Lives'. There are direct quotes from me in that song."

Gerard looked back in to the living room, but Davi was still busily drawing. "How are you?" he asked softly.

"Fuck you."

"I'm serious. I'm worried about you. And if Quinn's in Utah again, then -"

"You have no fucking right to worry about me," Bert said.

"I do when you're with Davi."

"You think I don't care about Davi?" Bert asked. "She's all I fucking have. All I care about is her."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're not getting drunk and high with her in the house," Gerard said.

"Don't tell me how to raise my kid!"

"Then act like an adult!"

Davi suddenly appeared at Gerard's side and tugged at his hand. "Is that Daddy?"

Gerard pulled the phone away from his ear. "Yeah," he said. "We were just..."

Davi held out her hand. "Can I talk to him?"

Gerard handed over the phone.

"Daddy?" Davi said into the phone. "Can you and Dad not yell at each other?" She listened for a moment. "Thank you. I love you Daddy." She hung up the phone and handed it back to Gerard. "Come look at my picture Dad."

The Used went on a short tour, during which Davi turned four. Bert brought her on stage and had the crowd sing "Happy Birthday" to her before letting her sing along with him on "Take It Away". Gerard watched the whole thing on YouTube, and tried not to feel bad when Bert changed the line from "I've lost all doubt in a Chemical Romance" to "I've lost all doubt in a ha ha ha ha." He wondered if Davi even remembered what the line was supposed to be.

The Black Parade World Tour went on, with three legs in North America, one leg in Europe and one in Asia, Australia and South America. Once they went overseas Gerard couldn't reasonably arrange to see Davi, but he called her once a week. When The Used's tour was over and Bert was back home, Gerard started sending her presents from every stop on the tour.

Gerard was in Brazil when Bert called him. It was one of their last stops on the tour, and it was after the show. Gerard was hanging out in the bus, watching Ray and Frank play video games, when his phone rang.

"Bert?" Gerard answered.

"I know you're on tour," Bert said, and there was a panic underneath his voice that Gerard had rarely heard before. "But I need you to take Davi. Quinn just kicked Brandon out of the band, Jepha disappeared, and Quinn won't answer his phone. I gotta get to Utah."

"Of course," Gerard said. "Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up and called Brian.

They canceled the remaining shows, and everyone made plans to go home, as Gerard took an overnight flight to L.A. He showed up at Bert's house exhausted. Bert looked like he'd been up all night as well.

"How is everything?" Gerard asked as he walked into the living room.

"I talked to Quinn," Bert said. "He sounds like he's gonna off himself. Still can't get ahold of Jepha or Brandon."

Davi rushed down the stairs dragging her suitcase. "Hi Dad!" she said with a big smile. "I haven't seen you in so long!" She dropped her suitcase at the base of the stairs and Gerard leaned down to hug her.

Davi turned to Bert, who also hugged her. "I'll be back as soon as I can, baby," he said. He straightened up and looked at Gerard. "Thank you. I really..." He shrugged. "I don't fucking know. Pretend I said something nice to you." He grabbed his suitcase and walked outside.

Gerard took Davi back to his place, and they spent three days catching up, playing games, drawing, and going to bookstores. Bert had taught Davi how to read, and Gerard bought her every book she wanted. On the fourth day Bert showed up at Gerard's door, looking like he hadn't slept in days.

"How did it go?" Gerard asked as he stepped aside to let Bert in.

"Quinn's at my place," Bert said. "Brandon's not speaking to us, and Jeph went to Japan with his girlfriend." He put his hand over his eyes. "I think my band just broke up."

Gerard put his hand on Bert's shoulder. Bert flinched, and Gerard recoiled.

"Davi!" Gerard called out. "Your Daddy's here and he needs a hug."

Davi ran into the hallway and Bert knelt down to hug her. "I love you Daddy," she said.

"Thanks, baby," Bert whispered.

A few weeks later Davi was scheduled to start preschool. It was a full-day pre-Kindergarten program sponsored by the elementary school, so Davi would be leaving home on a school bus.

"I'm going to stand on the front porch and cry like a little bitch," Bert said to Gerard over the phone the day before. "Wanna come?"

Gerard woke up early and met Quinn, Bert, and Davi on the front porch of their house just before 7 a.m. Davi was wearing a dress, but kept picking up the hem of the dress and chewing on it.

"Dont do that," Quinn told her. "Everyone can see your underwear."

Davi giggled and spun around. "Everyone should see my underwear."

"Just like her Daddy," Quinn muttered.

"You'll be brave at school, right, my little Davi girl?" Gerard asked.

Davi rolled her eyes. "I'm always brave."

Bert put his hands over his face and shouted, "Fuck me in the ass, she's growing up so quick!" When he removed his hands, his face was tear-stained. "Remember what you're not supposed to say in school, baby?"

"I can't say fuck," Davi said. "Or fucking or fucked or fucker or motherfucker."

"Good girl," Bert said. He sniffled.

The bus pulled up and Bert let out a small sob. An older woman walked off the bus and approached the four of them.

"I'm Mrs. Drake, the bus monitor," the woman said. "Is little Davi ready to go to school?"

"No," Bert said, grabbing Davi's shoulder. "I'm gonna put her in a bubble and keep her frozen in time forever." He turned to Gerard. "You know about that shit, right? We can do that."

Quinn pried Bert's hand off her shoulder.

"Bye Daddy!" Davi called out as she followed Mrs. Drake onto the bus. "Bye Dad! Bye Uncle Quinn! I love you!"

Gerard went home, but came back at 2 p.m. when the bus was scheduled to return. He found Bert out front chain-smoking and Quinn beside him texting on his phone. When the bus pulled up all three of them gasped. Davi came running off the bus holding a large piece of paper in her hand and smiling widely.

"They gave me cookies," she announced as she approached. "And sandwiches for lunch. And we sang songs and we played games all day." She handed Bert the piece of paper. "And I drew this for the frigerator."

They all looked at the paper, which contained three figures, labeled Daddy, Dad, and Davi. The top of the paper read, "My Family."

Gerard took a step backwards. "I should go."

"No Dad," Davi said. "I gotta tell you about the gerbil and everything else!"

Bert put his hand on Davi's shoulder. "Your Dad has to go, but he'll pick you up this weekend, okay baby?"

"Okay. Bye Dad!"

"Bye," Gerard said.

That weekend Gerard stopped by to pick Davi up, and Bert answered the door. He didn't have a shirt on, he was sweating, and his eyes were unfocused.

"Hi Dad," Davi said as she walked down the stairs with her suitcase.

"Bert, are you okay?" Gerard asked.

Bert nodded. "Fine," he said, his voice scratchy. He bent over and gave Davi a hug, his body swaying threateningly. "Bye, baby. I love you."

"I love you Daddy," Davi said. "Try not to puke anymore."

"Bert," Gerard said. "What happened? Is Quinn here?"

Bert ran his hand over his face. "Please go away," he said. "I can't fucking deal with you."

Gerard took Davi's hand and walked outside. As they headed for the car, Gerard took out his phone and called Quinn, but he didn't answer. He debated going back inside, but he didn't want Davi to see them fighting. He took her home and they made cookies together while listening to Queen.

About a month later Gerard was working on some Umbrella Academy on a Tuesday afternoon when Quinn called him.

"Hey Quinn," Gerard said.

"You gotta get down here," Quinn said, sounding panicked. "Bert O.D.ed and Davi won't stop crying. And they're giving me shit about not being her legal guardian."

"Bert O.D.ed?" Gerard stood up. "Fuck! Where are you?"

"The hospital," Quinn said.

"I'll be right there."

Gerard broke every speed limit on his way to the hospital. He went to the front desk, gave them Bert's name, and almost got into a screaming match with the worker there when he tried to explain that he was "his daughter's other father". Finally they directed him to Bert's room. Quinn was sitting outside the room holding Davi in his lap. They both looked like they had been crying.

"Dad!" Davi called out. She climbed off Quinn's lap and rushed up to him.

"Davi girl," Gerard said, bending over to hug her. "Are you okay?"

"Daddy wouldn't wake up," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "He had a needle in his neck."

"She found him when she got home from school," Quinn said. "He'd been shooting up heroin into the veins in his neck. I swear I didn't know."

"It's okay." He nodded to the door. "Can I go in?"

Quinn nodded, and Gerard let himself into the room, holding Davi's hand. Bert was unconscious in the bed with an I.V. in his arm and a tube down his throat. As soon as Davi saw him she started crying. She went to the side of the bed and grabbed his arm.

"Daddy, wake up!" she shouted. "Daddy!"

"It's okay," Gerard said, pulling her back. "He's getting medicine now through those tubes and then he'll wake up and be okay." He lifted Davi up and held her, and she cried quietly into his shoulder.

A nurse walked into the room. "You must be the adoptive father."

"Gerard," he said.

"Bert's on naloxone and fluids," she explained. "He should wake up soon, and then the doctor will have to reassess his condition. He may go into withdrawal and need to stay a day or two."

Gerard nodded. "Thank you."

The nurse exited and Quinn came in, sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "This is all my fault," he said. "Melissa quit The Grilled Cheese Experiment, so I said I'd go on tour with them. I told Bert a few days ago. He was upset."

"You didn't make him do heroin," Gerard said.

"But I didn't notice," Quinn replied. "I've been out rehearsing with them every day."

Bert's eyes blinked open.

Quinn grabbed his hand. "Bert?"

Davi turned and wiggled out of Gerard's arms. "Daddy?"

Bert weakly lifted the hand nearest Davi.

Davi climbed onto the hospital bed and threw her arms around Bert's neck. "Daddy," she cried into his chest. "You wouldn't wake up and I was scared."

Gerard ran to the door. "Nurse!" he called out. "He's awake."

The nurse who'd spoken to him earlier came in and removed the tube from Bert's throat. Bert coughed a few times, then slowly moved his arms so that they were around Davi.

"I'm okay, baby," Bert said, his voice scratchy. He looked up and took in his surroundings, his eyes pausing on both Quinn and Gerard. "Hey," he said.

Quinn leaned over Davi and kissed Bert softly on the lips. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," Bert whispered.

The doctor, an older man with white hair, came into the room. "You're awake; that's good. And you have a little friend."

Davi rolled over, still holding onto Bert. "Hi, I'm Davi McCracken," she said. "This is my Daddy."

"Nice to meet you, Davi." The doctor picked up Bert's chart and looked at it. "So Bert, are you having any muscle pain?"

"No," Bert said.

The doctor put his hand to Bert's head. "No temperature. You may have minor withdrawal symptoms later, naseau, pain, sweating, anxiety. We'll discharge you tonight and you can come back if the withdrawal becomes severe."

Bert shook his head. "I don't want to go. Can you put me in rehab?"

The doctor made a note on the chart. "We have a twenty-eight day rehab in our building across the street. We can start you off tomorrow morning."

Bert looked up at Gerard. "Can you take her?"

"Of course," Gerard said.

"I'll make the arrangements," the doctor said. "Good luck, Bert." He walked out.

Gerard, Quinn, and Davi sat with Bert until the end of visiting hours. Then they all went back to Bert's house. Gerard had decided that it would be less stressful for Davi to keep her at Bert's than to move her to Gerard's for a month. After tucking Davi into bed, he took Bert's bed, and tried not to think about how, despite what Bert must've been up to lately, his bed smelled familiar and good.

The next day Quinn had to leave for his tour with The Grilled Cheese Experiment. He said goodbye to Davi in the morning before she left for school, and then hesitated before pulling Gerard into a long hug.

"You're not a bad guy," Quinn said.

"High praise," Gerard replied. "I'll try not to let the compliment go to my head."

Quinn smiled. "Take care of him, okay?"

"I will," Gerard promised.

When Davi got home from school they went straight to the hospital to visit Bert. They met him in the main room at the rehab. Bert and Davi sat on a couch, while Gerard sat across from them in a chair.

"This is where you get better from being sick, right Daddy?" Davi asked.

"Right," Bert said.

Davi picked up one of his hands in hers. It was trembling. "Why are you shaking Daddy?"

"It's part of getting better." He looked up at Gerard. "Quinn got off okay?"

Gerard nodded. "He said he tried to call you."

"They took my phone," Bert said. He pushed some of Davi's hair back off her face. "So what'd you do at school today, baby?"

"Played with the gerbil," Davi replied. "And we watched a puppet show. And we had sharing time and I told everyone my Daddy was getting better in the rehab."

Bert smiled at Gerard. "Maybe we'll have you go to parent-teacher night."

For the next month Gerard and Davi fell into a comfortable routine. They'd wake up early, Gerard would make her breakfast, and then Davi would get on the bus. Then Gerard would go back to sleep for most of the day. When Davi got home from school, they'd go visit Bert. Then they'd have dinner and read until it was time for bed. After Davi went to sleep, Gerard would stay up and work on everything from the Umbrella Academy to ideas for the next MCR album.

At first during their rehab visits, Gerard offered to sit in the car and let Davi and Bert have time alone, but Bert said that was ridiciulous, so the three of them would sit around in the main room chatting for about an hour.

"Dan Whitesides visited me today," Bert told Gerard one day. "Remember him?"

Gerard nodded. "The drummer from New Transit Direction, right? How is he?"

"Looking for a new band," Bert said. "So I called Jepha, and he said he's coming home in a few weeks." He rubbed Davi's hair affectionately. "It might not be too late for us."

"That's great," Gerard said.

"We'll do recording Daddy?" Davi asked.

"God fucking willing," he said. "So how was school today?"

"We sang a song about an itsy bitsy spider." Davi made a face. "I told them I have two daddies who make way better songs."

Bert was released from rehab on a Friday at 5 p.m., but confusion over some medication he was supposed to get kept Gerard and Davi waiting for almost two hours. By the time they got out of there and got something to eat, Davi was tired and grouchy, so they got her home and put her to bed.

"I'm glad you're home, Daddy," Davi said as she got into her bed.

"I love you, baby." Bert leaned over and kissed her.

"Goodnight Dad," she said to Gerard.

Gerard took a step forward, careful not to brush against Bert. He put his hand on her arm and said, "Goodnight, Davi girl."

Bert and Gerard walked into the hallway and closed her door. Bert looked off to the side, purposefully avoiding Gerard's gaze.

"I should go home," Gerard said.

Bert nodded, eyes still averted. "Thanks for watching her. You can have her this weekend if you want."

"Thanks."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"If you ever need anything..." Gerard began.

Bert looked up at him. "Just go."

"Bert..." Gerard took a step forward and reached out to hug him.

Bert moved back, hitting the wall, and caught Gerard's arm before it could touch him. "Don't."

They stood there frozen for a moment, just inches away from each other, with Bert gripping Gerard's forearm.

"Fuck," Bert muttered, and he surged forward to kiss him.

They kissed up against the wall in the hallway, grabbing at each other's clothes, pressing their bodies together. After just a few minutes Bert pulled Gerard into his bedroom, and they kept kissing. Bert undid Gerard's pants.

"I still love you," Gerard whispered against Bert's lips.

"Don't say that." Bert kissed him long and hard to shut him up. He took off his pants and shirt and pulled Gerard on top of him on the bed.

"Just fuck me," Bert gasped out. "Just do it. I need you inside me."

"I shouldn't have left," Gerard whispered into Bert's neck.

Bert bucked up against Gerard's body. "Fucking do it."

Gerard reached into the top drawer of Bert's nightstand where they used to keep the lube, and it was still there. After preparing them both, Gerard leaned down, pushing Bert's legs back impossibly far, and pushed inside him.

"Fuck," Bert groaned out. He pulled Gerard down by the back of his head and kissed him hard, biting down on his lower lip. "Harder."

Gerard thrust into him harder, and Bert gripped his shoulders, pulling him closer, as if he could pull his entire body inside him.

"I still love you," Gerard repeated.

Bert put his hand over Gerard's lips, and Gerard took one of his fingers into his mouth. Then he ducked his head down to kiss and suck at Bert's neck.

"Harder, go harder," Bert panted out. "Oh, fuck." He pitched forward, buried his face in Gerard's shoulder, and came in the tightness between their bodies. Gerard thrust a few more times and came moaning against the side of Bert's face.

They settled against the pillows still touching, and Bert put his head against Gerard's chest as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Bert..." Gerard said.

"Tomorrow," Bert said. "We'll figure it all out tomorrow, okay?"

Gerard tightened his arms around him. "Okay."

Gerard was woken up by Davi climbing into the bed with him. "Hi Dad," she said.

Gerard opened his eyes. Bert wasn't in the bed, but there was a piece of paper tucked under his pillow. Before he could get to it, Davi had snatched it up and was struggling to read it.

"Grrrrrr....ad," she sounded out. "I neeeeed so...some time..."

Gerard sat up and looked over her shoulder at the letter: "Gerard, I need some time alone to think. Can you watch Davi? I'll be back."

Davi turned to face Gerard. "Daddy wrote this? Where is he?"

Gerard took the letter out of her hand, got out of bed, and took her hand to help her down. "How about this, Davi girl? You and me will have some breakfast, get dressed, and then go find Daddy."

"Like hide and seek?" Davi asked.

Gerard nodded. "Like hide and seek where some of the hiding places are crackhouses."

After eating and getting dressed, Gerard checked Bert's computer's internet history. It didn't look like Bert had bought any plane tickets recently, so at least he could narrow the search to the L.A. area. He didn't want to panic Bert's friends if he didn't have to, so he put off calling Quinn, Brian, John, or anyone else. Instead he and Davi went to some of the bars in the area and checked to see if Bert was among any of the early afternoon drunks. Gerard drove past all the corners where he knew drug dealers congregated, but was reluctant to stop the car and do a thorough search with Davi around. Finally Gerard drove to Reprise Headquarters in Burbank and parked in the visitors lot.

"Want to take a walk?" Gerard.

"Sure." Gerard had bought her a ring pop at their last gas station bathroom stop, and Davi was too distracted by it to complain.

They walked through the visitors lot, the employee lot, around a large building labeled "Maintenance", and through a field with tall grass before they came to the bus lot. There was a chain link fence with barbed wire on top, but the gate was open. The lot contained at least a hundred tour buses, ranging from brand new to old and rusted. Gerard walked down the center aisle of the lot slowly, until he spotted a beat-up bus with the roof partially torn off.

It was The Used's old tour bus. At the end of their first tour together, The Used and MCR had thrown a party, and then everyone got on planes to go home. Everyone except for the bus driver, who Bert had dared into drinking countless shots, and who proceeded to take a shortcut back to Reprise and run into a low overpass. The bus driver was fired, and The Used got brand new buses for their next tour.

Gerard took Davi's hand and opened the door to the bus. It was dusty and filled with dead leaves, but still looked safe, so Gerard stepped on with Davi behind him. He looked around the familiar front lounge, then headed to the bunk area.

Gerard turned to the bunks on the right, and lifted up Davi to the top bunk.

"Daddy!" Davi said.

"Hi, baby," he heard Bert reply.

Davi crawled out of Gerard's grip and into the bunk.

"You can come up too, G," Bert called out.

Gerard hoisted himself up. Bert pulled Davi so that she was half on top of him, and Gerard had just enough room to lie there without being in danger of falling off. Above them, the torn-off roof revealed a pink sunset.

"What are you doing here Daddy?" Davi asked.

Bert smiled. "This is where me and your Dad first..." His eyes met Gerard's and his smile widened. "We used to kiss here a lot, before you were born."

Davi looked between Bert and Gerard.

"I still love you too," Bert said softly.

Gerard leaned over Davi and kissed Bert.

Davi put her hands to her mouth. "You're kissing again!" she squealed happily.

Gerard pulled back from Bert and kissed Davi on the forehead. He put his arm around her and onto Bert's chest, where Bert grabbed his hand.

"I'm gonna fuck up again," Bert said.

"I'm gonna be there when you fuck up," Gerard replied.

Bert looked up at the sky through the torn piece of metal. "I don't wanna kill myself anymore. I wanna make more music. I wanna write. I wanna be there when you make your next stupid concept album about gay zombies on ice or whatever, when you become god of the comic book geeks." He kissed Davi's forehead. "I wanna be there when Davi graduates school and becomes a singer."

"Drummer," Davi corrected him. "Or vampire. I haven't decided yet."

"I wanna see your whole life, baby," Bert said.

Gerard squeezed his hand. "Will you come home?"

"Yeah," Bert said. "Will you?"

Gerard nodded.

Under the reddening sky, Bert's eyes looked an even deeper blue, and his skin was smooth, making him look deceptively young. With one hand he stroked Davi's hair, and with the other he held onto Gerard like he was drowning. Bert took a moment to consider the sky, then closed his eyes and tried to imagine what forever would look like.