Gerard and Lynz have just moved into their new house. Gerard is constantly on the verge of a panic attack because he's sure he's going to totally fail at being a grown up. Lynz has to go away for three days because MSI is playing a one-time benefit concert or something, and Gerard says he'll work on the house while she's gone.

On the first day she's gone, Gerard manages to make a trip to his mom's house and move all his art supplies and action figures.

On the second day, Gerard spends all day playing with his action figures and accomplishes nothing.

On the third day, Gerard is sitting in his living room and trying not to stress himself out so much that he has a meltdown, when he notices how nice the afternoon light hits one of the walls. He gets his art supplies together and starts painting figures on the wall.

He doesn't even realize he's drawn Mikey and Frank until he's halfway through. He thinks it might be weird to draw your brother and friend on your wall, so he changes them into zombies. Eventually he has Zombie Mikey playing a bass made out of bones, Zombie Frank playing a guitar that's half-ribcage, Zombie Ray with snakes for hair, and Zombie Bob with skulls for drums.

He draws Zombie Gerard with his lips pressed against Zombie Frank's neck, then feels guilty and draws Zombie Lynz with a really cool bass made out of stretched demon skin. Zombie Jamia and Zombie Alicia end up in the middle of the stage playing blood-red guitars, and Zombie Krista dances with Zombie Bob's-girlfriend [insert name here]. He's just putting the finishing touches on the dragons that are holding the stage aloft when Gerard realizes what he's done.

He's drawn a mural of gay zombies. He's just gotten married, bought a house, and is trying to prove to himself that he can function as an adult, and he drew a mural of gay zombies.

There's no answer on Mikey's phone, and Frank's and Brian's both go straight to voicemail. As he struggles to catch his breath and make his heart stop racing, Gerard dials the only other person he trusts: his sponsor.

Tony is a contractor from Newark, and is pretty much the anti-Gerard. He listens to country music, screams at people on the phone all day, has a Botoxed wife he cheats on constantly, and voted for George W Bush twice. Once day after an AA meeting, Tony answered his phone and shouted, "Why the fuck are you breaking my fucking balls Manny?" and Gerard had to run outside so Tony wouldn't see him laughing.

Once they decided to be each other's sponsor, Tony and Gerard made an effort to understand each other's worlds. Gerard once joined Tony for a dinner with some construction workers, where he kept Tony focused on the steak and not the pitchers of beer going around, and also learned how to say "kiss my ass" in Spanish. Gerard also once joined Tony for lunch at a strip club, where he attempted to convince each dancer that they should go to college. Gerard was then kicked out by the bouncer for "being a weirdo".

Tony came to a few of their Jersey shows, hung out backstage each time, and then started reading music blogs to keep up with what Gerard was doing. But Gerard was pretty sure he was reading the wrong types of music blogs, because every once in a while he'd get a text from Tony that said something like, "did u no ur emo and no1 likes ur hair???"

But what they relied on each other for the most was having someone to call when they were at their worst, when they needed to talk to someone who wouldn't judge them. Tony called him near-hysterical when his wife threatened to leave him, and Gerard called him in tears when he broke up with Bert. Tony called him once from a party to say that he was tempted to either have a drink or punch a housing developer in the face, and Gerard talked him into just leaving the party early and slashing the developer's tires. When Mikey left during the recording of The Black Parade, Gerard called Tony at 3am and said he didn't know how he could get through the night knowing that his brother was alone in a hospital. Tony distracted him until the sun rose by asking him to sing every new song they had so far and then explain the metaphors.

Tony answers after one ring. "Where are you?" It was the standard "hello" among alcoholics.

"At home," Gerard says.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to come out there?" Tony asks. "I just gotta kick my foreman's fat fucking ass and then I can be at your mom's place in half an hour."

"I'm not -" The words catch in Gerard's throat. "I bought a house." He takes a breath, but his voice is still shaking. "I married a bass player and bought a house and I tried to be an adult." Tears well up in his eyes. "But I'm failing at this like I fail at everything, because I was supposed to move things and hammer shit and all I did was paint a mural of gay zombies."

"Oh my god," Tony says softly. "You married Pete Wentz?"

"What?" Gerard wipes his eyes. "No, a female bass player. Her name's Lindsey."

There's a long pause. "You married a woman? Huh." There's the sound of him lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. "Cause I put one of them rainbow stickers on my car just for you, man. To show my support, you know?"

"Thank you," Gerard replies. "But I'm, you know, more toward the middle of the spectrum. Also, I could do way better than Pete Wentz."

"I dunno, man. His dick is huge."

Before Gerard can express his disgust, he hears a key in the door. "Oh fuck. She's home." He stands up. "She's gonna be so pissed. Our new house and I do this. Fuck!"

"Calm down," Tony says. "Take a deep breath, and call me back as soon as you can, okay?"

"Okay." Gerard hangs up the phone as Lynz walks in the door.

"Hey!" she says with a big smile. She drops her bag on the floor. "Newark Airport never stops being the fifth level of hell, does it?" She moves to Gerard and kisses him. "How's everything been here?"

"Um..."

Lynz notices something over his shoulder, and her eyes widen as she moves toward the mural. When she gets to the wall, she runs her fingers over Zombie Gerard lightly. Gerard imagines his heart stopping.

Lynz turns to him. "You do great work with shadow. Seriously, I tell everyone that." She glances back at the mural. "The perspective's slightly off on the left dragon, but I can help you with that later. I'm starving." She walks over to Gerard and takes his hand. "Make me a grilled cheese sandwich and I'll tell you everything about the show."

"Um...sure," Gerard says. "I just have to make a quick call."

"Okay!" Lynz smiles, kisses him again, and heads into the kitchen.

Gerard dials Tony. "Everything's cool," he says.

"Good," Tony says. "So how long you in town? I'm going out for dinner with some fucking concrete salesman on Friday. And you need any work done on that house, I'll send my best fucking guys over."

"Dinner sounds good," Gerard says. "And I'll let you know about the house. I just have to ask you, Tony." His eyes dart to the kitchen door and he lowers his voice. "Do you understand women?"

Tony chuckles. "No one understands women. Don't even bother trying. Go fuck Pete Wentz while you have the chance."

"Thanks," Gerard says. "But I think I'll just go make my wife a sandwich."

"See you Saturday," Tony says. "Take care."

"You too," Gerard says, and he hangs up the phone and goes into the kitchen, where he notices how nice the twilight illuminates the area above the stove.

A week later, after a local show, Brian sits in their new, fully decorated living room, with its suede couch, sheer white curtains, and completed gay zombie mural. Lynz has painted a gorgeous background, showing rolling fields and crumbling castles, with a dark, Mordor-like mountain looming in the distance.

"The show was great," Brian says. "I just wish he could go three songs without calling someone a motherfucker."

Gerard enters, precariously balancing three cups of coffee, and Lynz stands to help him.

"Don't look at me," Lynz says. "I got him to shower regularly, and that's the limit of my magic powers."

"What are we saying about me?" Gerard asks. He sits down next to Lynz. "Is it nice things?"

"You could dial down the whole 'pretending to be a bad-ass' thing," Brian says.

"But I am a bad-ass."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

Gerard puts his hand on Lynz's shoulder. "Tell him, honey."

"Well," Lynz says. "He did make some bold color choices when decorating the kitchen."

Gerard smiles proudly. "Fuck yeah."

Brian takes a sip of his coffee. "Nice gay zombie mural," he says.

Lynz leans against Gerard and smiles. "You should see the bedroom."