It probably said something about Jeph's life that he didn't even blink when Bert came to his house one evening and offered him a picture of a severed unicorn head in exchange for Quinn's underwear.

"All his underwear," Bert said. "This is war."

Jeph looked at the severed unicorn head on the piece of paper Bert had handed him. "You drew this?"

"Gerard did. It's his contribution to the cause."

"What cause?"

Bert's eyes flared with anger. "Quinn took my porn."

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Jeph asked, gesturing to the paper.

Bert just scowled, like the question was what one couldn't do with a drawing of a severed unicorn head. "The important thing is we get my porn back by holding all Quinn's underwear hostage," he said.

Jeph sat down on his couch. "Why did Quinn steal your porn?"

Bert rolled his eyes. "Someone got his cat high."

Quinn walked into the living room holding a wireless Xbox 360 remote. "Jepha, you coming back or what?"

"Traitor!" Bert shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Jeph. He turned his attention to Quinn. "And you! Give me back my magazines!"

"Admit it was you who smoked out my cat!" Quinn shouted back.

Jeph just took his picture and slipped out of the room. It was actually a pretty cool severed unicorn head. He picked up the phone and hit the speed dial number for his favorite tattoo artist.