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Brother's Keeper
by Vamphile
Fifteen
Brian picked Justin up at the studio so they could go to Deb’s together. He tried to ignore the small pang he felt when they walked down the steps. Justin’s computer was packed. His bag was in the car. He’d be on his way back to New York in six hours. He’d be fine. Brian knew that. They’d both be fine. He just… fuck. He just wanted him home.
“Brian, lets go.”
He shook he head to clear it and smiled at Justin. whatever was pissing him off would be resolved and forcing him back to Pittsburgh wasn’t going to help anything.
Deb's was in mid cacophony when they walked in. no drama, no problems just everyone talking at once about everything.
Justin smiled and pulled him to the sofa where they sat close and let the noise wash over them. neither was much in the mood to talk.
Justin was drawing gentle circles on the back of Brian's neck with his fingers when they heard the noise die down. Both of them looked up and realized all eyes were on them.
“huh?”
“I asked when you were leaving” Deb said, obviously aggravated that they hadn’t been listening.
“oh, um, my plane leaves at midnight.”
They all started talking about New York and Justin let them. none of them knew jack shit about New York. The more they talked the more clear that became. He smiled a little and let them make broad sterotypes and stupid tourist jokes and did his best not to think about the reality of it.
The reality wasn’t bad. He actually liked that the city really didn’t close. Everything in Pittsburgh was dead by three am, well except the diner, and even that was just club kids and hustlers.
New York was alive 24/7 and it was a cliché but it was also fucking true. He could walk out at four am and get a cup of coffee and find a couple of people he knew at the coffee shop he liked doing the same thing.
It’s how he’d met Matt. Matt was a writer, and nocturnal and a coffee addict. Justin had been blocked and unable to come up with a creative idea to save his life. He’d spent five or six late night/early mornings downing coffee, sketching, looking for inspiration and Matt had been there with his laptop, staring off into space and pounding espresso like it was lifeblood. Eventually they’d talked. Shared artist angst. Shared a table, never a bed.
They’d gone to clubs together. Danced. He’d met some of Matt’s other artist friends. He’d assumed they’d be as annoying and pretentious as Ethan’s but they weren’t.
They were all in the same boat. Broke, trying to find inspiriation and representation for their work. Some were gay, some were straight. Most of them had parents who wished they’d chosen something that produced a paycheck on a regular basis. Some had parents who assumed they’d do that once they were past this phase.
He realized that he liked some of them, didn’t much care for others and that he was very very lucky. Lucky to have Brian. Lucky to have a mother who wasn’t intent on nagging him to get a “real job”. And he was lucky to have the kind of buzz he was getting.
And there was buzz. He’d had a few small articles and reviews in the alternative weekly papers, he’d had a couple of artist representaive agents express interest. And he didn’t have to deal with the lovesick bullshit that some of them were going through.
Zoe and Jared were a couple, then they weren’t then they were… it was all too familiar and he stayed away from the high drama. He had enough of that at home.
He realized, as he listened to Emmett tell a highly improbably story about a star sighting in a club he’d visited with some old boyfriend that he actually missed his friends there a little. He felt Brian's hand tighten on his knee. He realized he was gonna miss Brian a little too.
Justin stood up quickly. “I need a cigarette.”
Brian followed him out. They were standing in front of the house smoking in silence when Alicia and Aaron pulled up.
“hey guys.”
“hey.”
Aaron looked like he was about to pull out a cigarette and join them when Justin shot him a look and the little half-breed seemed to remember that his mother was standing behind him.
“guess we’ll go in and say hi.”
Justin nodded and put out his cigarette leading them inside. Aaron liked to play things cool but this family could be nerve wracking.
Brian stayed outside a little longer. Justin was already gone. His brain was in new york again. he had a life there, and he was supposed to and Brian wasn’t jealous of it, or resentful, he just… okay maybe he was a little resentful but he knew that was just his own bullshit and not Justin's.
They’d made this deal. They knew it was going to be hard. They’d stuck to it and they were still fine. But this is why it was harder when Justin came for more than a weekend. They were so comfortable together. Longer than three days and they just slipped into their old rythms. It became easy to forget not to get used to him being there. And harder to get used to the place being empty once he was gone again. but crisis averted. Aaron in the loving and smothering arms of the entire fucked up clan. And Justin has a show in seven weeks.
He’d be there for the show if Justin wanted him there. But he might not. He got nervous, got flustered. And he’d admitted once, he didn’t want to feel like he needed Brian to get through the stage fright. Brian didn’t think that one was gonna stop hurting for a while. Wasn’t he supposed to need him, just a little? Not because he was a kid, but because they were a fucking couple. He put out his own cigarette and walked back in pushing the fucking lesbionic thoughts away. Justin was still here. dinner would only take two of the six hours. And they’d taken the Jeep Commander . They’d get in a little more alone time together before he got on the plane.
Emmett was talking to Aaron. Justin was talking to his mother and everyone else seemed to be talking in general, he wasn’t sure who was listening. He sat back down. Tired. He missed Gus. He missed linday. Maybe he’d go up to Toronto next week. He went back outside and called them.
Gus was fine, and happy to hear from his father and Brian felt a little better. He’d definitely go to see them next week or the week after that depending on his schedule.
Justin leaned his head out. “Deb’s getting pissed. You’ve gotta eat something or she’ll be at the loft with food for the rest of the week.” Brian sighed. He knew Justin was right.
He came back in and sat down to dinner. They all had migrated to the table and the evening passed without too many hurt feelings or unkind words. And Aaron and Justin seemed to be laughing together at something but Brian couldn’t hear what it was because Michael was yammering about Jenny-rebecca. He ate. At least you could always count on Deb for good rigatoni. And soon enough they said their goodbyes.
Justin was bouncy and in a seemingly good mood when he got in the car. “that went better than expected.”
“what were you expecting?”
Justin shrugged. “not sure, just… I don’t know. Deb to read Alicia the riot act, or Aaron and Hunter to get into some sort of scowl off.”
Brian laughed. “Well, Alicia took the t-shirt and the button and promised to be at the next PFLAG meeting, so she’s off Deb’s shit list. And Hunter seems to have mellowed.”
Justin shot him a glance. “okay, Hunter is sure Aaron isn’t trying to hit on me so he doesn’t feel threatended.”
“like Aaron’s a threat. Stupid punk ass kid.”
“which one Hunter or Aaron.”
‘both I think.”
“yeah that anger thing is coming along well.”
“fuck you.”
“twenty minutes. We’ll be at the airport.”
“Brian my plane doesn’t leave for another few hours.”
“but I haven’t shown you how the seats in the back fold down completely.”
“oh. Yeah, I actually want to see that.”
“you’re not gonna see much but the ceiling.”
“that sounds good too.”
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Brian drove back to the loft. It was worth the forty bucks short term parking had cost. It was worth the fact that he’d have to have the car detailed to get the footprints off the ceiling and the come stains off the carpet. It was worth all of it to take his time saying goodbye.
He grabbed a beer and checked his watch. Another half hour at least. He loaded the program he’d bought for space layout and started entering the information for Babylon. He’d loaded the program on Justin’s new machine too. The kid was better at layout and design than he was. But he wanted to give him a rough idea of what he had in mind.
He noticed a file already named Babylon and clicked on it. The lad really was a fucking genious. The layout was far better than what he had planned. He spun the room 180 degrees and then looked at it from a birds eye view. Nice program. Nice kid. Nice club. The phone rang.
“hey.”
“back, no crashes. No turbulence.”
“good.”
“take a cab?”
“not having this argument.”
“call me when you get home?”
“yes dear.”
“fuck off.”
“yes dear.”
Brian closed his phone and continued dicking around with the software, adding touches and trying a few things out. Wondering if reopening Babylon was even a good idea. But he knew it was. Well, he thought it was. It was.
Two hours later he’d gotten some work and a lot of drinking done. He’d finished off a proposal for a new company and smoked two rather potent joints. The phone rang again and he picked it up as he moved away from the computer and towards the bed.
“you all tucked in for the night.”
“I’ve got work to do before I can do that.”
“Why?”
“Meeting with the gallery tomorrow, need to do some more editing and a couple of rough sketches.”
“guess you didn’t have as much time to work as you wanted this week.”
“Fucking Craig.”
“yeah he made you hit a guy and a wall.”
“bite me.”
“sorry didn’t mean to remind you it wasn’t entirely Craig’s fault.”
“you’re defending him?”
”not in this lifetime.”
“just checking.”
“hey, when did you find the time to redesign Babylon?”
“woke up one night, couldn’t sleep. Neat program.”
“yea, it’s on your machine too so I could send you files, get your input.”
“good idea.”
“don’t’ need it now. The layout you did is better than what I had planned.”
“bullshit.”
“take the fucking compliment.”
“thanks.”
“so how late are you gonna be up tonight?”
“gonna be an all nighter. I have to get these rough sketches out. This show might be important.”
“so call me if you get bored.”
“are you bored.”
“no I’ve got a shit load of work to do myself. I was a little busy this week and construction will probably start on Babylon next week, so I’m gonna have to really get a lot of loose ends tied up at the office.”
“yeah.”
“what’s wrong?” Brian lit a cigarette and waited. Justin was trying to say something he could feel it.
“nothing, just feels weird to be back home.”
“weird?”
“I don’t’ know, it’s like when I’m there too long I forget that I have here.”
“and then you’re there.”
“don’t’ start, I don’t forget when I’m here that I have there.”
“well, that dump you call an apartment is pretty forgettable.”
“yeah, but it’s not meant to be a fuck pad.”
“I should hope to hell not.”
“Brian…”
“not saying a word, I’m not the hypocrite.”
“you so are just not about that.”
“having different rules for different people does not make me a hypocrite.”
“having different rules for yourself and the rest of the world?”
“that make me me.”
Justin laughed. “yes it does, and I’d hate for you to not be you.”
“yeah that would suck.”
“it really would.”
“you okay?”
“told you I was.”
“told you I belived you.”
“so we’re both liars.”
“seems that way.”
“Brian. As soon as I figure out what’s wrong, I promise you’ll know.”
“good.”
“I have to go. If I don’t’ start I can’t finish.”
“yeah, me too. Call me after the meeting.”
“thought you had a lot of work to do.”
“I’ll make time.”
“okay. Bye.”
“bye.”
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Two weeks later Brian was leaning over a folding table in babylon looking over the blueprints with Paul.
“you sure?”
“I’m sure, the main line goes through there, so unless you want the place to explode again we have to move that wall.”
“how far back does that set us timewise?”
“none really we haven’t started that section yet. the plans have to get changed and we have to get approval and we’re still waiting for a permit before we can start the plumbing.”
“you’ll open on time.”
“I want it by new years.”
“you’ll get it by new years.”
“you said on time… what abut on budget.”
Paul smiled. “pick on.”
Brian grimaced. “I pick both. Make it work.”
Paul was smiling a little less as he walked away. Brian was considering killing himself by cutting his own throat with the fucking blueprints when a far to cheery little half-breed-in-law tapped him on the wrist.
“hey.”
“what the fuck are you doing here.”
“Christ, I had the day off, teachers conference or something, thought I’d stop by.”
“I’m working.”
“you’re at a club.”
“do you hear the saws and hammers. I’m not here to party.”
“I was gonna go out tonight. Wanna come?”
Brian looked at him. took Aaron's head between his hands and stared hard. “what the fuck are you on?”
“nothing.”
“did you just invite me out on a date?”
Aaron laughed “eww, you’re like old, and my brother in law or something.”
“or something.”
“I just thought…”
“you just thought I could get you in to a club without yoru getting carded or having to pay the cover.”
“and then maybe you’d buy me a drink.”
“this is sounding like a date.”
“wow, I don’t know what kind of dates you go on, but they must be disappointing.”
“no one’s ever dispappointed. Trust me.”
“whatever. I’m going to Pistol tonight, come with.”
“no.”
“why not?”
“you’re my underaged half-breed-in-law. And my of age, what the fuck ever would kill me.”
“you’re afraid of Justin?”
“you should be.”
“pfft, he’s all bluster.”
“Aaron… how many people did he hit while he was here for five days?”
“um two.”
“and how many do you think he’d hit if I took you out and got you drunk and laid?”
Aaron smiled “two.”
“very good. you can do the math.”
“but..”
Brian pinched the bridge of his nose. “you’re giving me a headache.”
“well, I’ll be at pistol.”
“wait.” Brian didn’t want to ask but he had to. “how do you usually get in to boy-toy?”
“I can’t get in unless that black guy is working the door. When the big blonde is there he won’t let me get past.”
Brian smiled. Murphy was on the rehire list. “and pistol?”
“the big blonde guy doesn’t work there.”
Brian sighed. “I’ll meet you there at nine. Don’t be late.”
He saw Aaron rock from one foot to the other. “what?”
“nothing Just…”
Brian sighed and handed him a key. He grabbed a piece of paper and knew he was making a monumental mistake. “here’s the passcode. Lock it when you get in. don’t’ steal anything. Don’t go in the bedroom and if you leave and don’t’ set the alarm I will kill. If you don’t belive me call your brother.
Aaron left whistling and headed towards Brian’s loft to kill the rest of the afternoon. Brian was definitely the nice one.
When he got there he logged on to Brian's computer. Justin was online.
Stroke16: You there?”
Fcukthesunshine: yeah, what’s up?
Stroke16: did Brian kill you?
Fcukthesunshine: what?
Stroke16: he gave me a key to the loft but told me to ask what happens if I forget to set the code. Told me he’d kill me.
Fcukthesunshine: you’re in the loft? On Brian’s computer?
Stroke16: duh.
Fcukthesunshine: download porn and he’ll kill you.
Stroke16: did he kill you for that?
Fcukthesunshine: no we do that together, not the point. He has work shit on there, and he never updates his virus stoftware.
Stroke16: I can do that for him.
Fcukthesunshine: good do that… and still don’t download porn.
Stroke16: pouting.
Fcukthesunshine: cut it the fuck out. And seriously. Do. Not. Forget. To. Set. The. Alarm. He’s been robbed once.
Stroke16: you forgot to set the alarm and he got robbed?
Fcukthesunshine: don’t’ want to talk about it. I’m just warning you.
Stroke16: he forgave you.
Fcukthesunshine: no, never really did. He just got over it.
Stroke16: what’s the difference.
Fcukthesunshine: he still gets to bring it up when we fight.
Stroke16: so all the time.
Fcukthesunshine: we do not fight all the time.
Stroke16: no you bicker like an old married couple.
Fcukthesunshine: I have work to do and shouldn’t you be in school?
Stroke16: teachers conference
Fcukthesunshine: homework?
Stroke16: whatever MOM
Fcukthesunshine: fuck off.
Stroke16: was planning to.
Fcukthesunshine: why are you there?
Stroke16: bored
Fcukthesunshine: he’s not a toy, neither is his loft.
Stroke16: but he is fun to play with
Fcukthesunshine: don’t be gross and don’t fuck with his head.
Stroke16: I’m not fucking with his anything, he’s like 20 years older than me, sheesh. I just came by to say hi. He told me to go away. I had nowhere to go. He gave me the key to the loft. Now I’m here.
Fcukthesunshine: fine. Whatever. I really have shit to do.
Stroke16: fine, whatever I just wanted to know what you did to piss him off about the alarm.
Fcukthesunshine: and now you know.
Stroke16: you coming back to town soon?
Fcukthesunshine: hopefully once before thanksgiving and then for thanksgiving.
Stroke16: mom said we’re going to Deb’s
Fcukthesunshine: that’s where I’ll be.
Stroke16: this is bizarre.
Fcukthesunshine: heard from Craig?
Stroke16: he called, I hung up on him
Fcukthesunshine: good plan.
Stroke16: was I supposed to talk to him.
Fcukthesunshine: wasn’t being sarcastic.
Stroke16: how the hell would I know that snark is your default setting.
Fcukthesunshine: going to work now. Go find some friends your own age.
Stroke16: like you did.
Fcukthesunshine: goodbye half-breed.
**Fcukthesunshine has logged off**
Aaron sat back in Brian's chair and got to work. He downloaded the software patches Brian needed and upgraded his ant virus software. Then he did a little low level disk clean up and some basic maintenance. The machine was running better when he was done and he grabbed a beer and turned on the television. This place was so much cooler than home.
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**
Brian moved further away from the hammering and power tool noises and called Justin.
“hey.”
“hi.”
“why is my half-breed in the loft?”
“long story.”
“got time.”
“he came here, he’s under foot and we’re going out tonight.”
Brian waitied for what he knew was coming.
It didn’t come. He heard a resigned sigh instead.
“you’re not gonna scream?”
“would it make a differnce.”
“he was going anyway. He’s safer with me.”
“I know, that’s why I’m not screaming. Have I been screaming a lot lately?”
“kind of.”
“sorry.”
“don’t be. You’re stressed.”
“no shit.”
“how’s the work coming?”
“not bad. If it stays on schedule I’ll be able to sneak away for a couple of days mid October.”
“that’s not for like three weeks.”
“you can come here.”
“next weekend I’m in Toronto.”
“say hi to Gus for me.”
“you could come with. I’ll get you a ticket meet you at the airport.”
“can’t next weekend. ILDC sent me some freelance work.”
“that’s great.”
“yeah but I have to actually finish it or they’ll never use me again.”
“I have faith in you.”
“yeah, I know, I just wish I did. They’re idiots and they want something crappy.”
Brian laughed. “make it good anyway, even if they want it to be crappy.”
“is that what you do?”
“yeah, and you know it.”
“I’m not sure I can afford to do that yet. don’t have the ‘fuck you’ money”
”doesn’t take the money. It takes the attitude. Trust me, you have the ‘fuck you’ attitude.”
“yeah, I guess.”
“Justin. is there anyone who can do this better than you?”
“no.”
“are they lucky to have your services for the short time between your starving artist phase and your wildly successful no one can afford you phase.” He could hear Justin smiling.
“damn lucky.”
“then remember that.”
“okay.”
“so paul’s calling me. he’s probably going to tell me to knock the place down and start from scratch”
“still shooting for new years.”
“yeah. You gonna be home for that.”
“I’ll be there, wouldn’t miss the return to Babylon”
“stop using the movie guy voice.”
“why it cracks me up.”
“then use it all you want.”
“thanks for the persmission. Hey…keep an eye on Aaron tonight.”
“why the fuck else would I be going with him?”
“good point.”
“Paul really does need something.”
“go give it to him.”
“not that kind of something.”
“talk to you later.”
“later.”
Justin hung up the phone smiling. Brian was right. They were damn lucky to have him. and this shit he was working on for the show was good.
He grabbed his coat and his phone and headed out to meet Matt and Zoe for coffee. He’d be back in Pittsburgh in a couple weeks. Things were fine and he and Brian were still on an even keel. As long as he didn’t think about it too hard, everything was fine.
Send feedback to vamphile @ gmail.com
