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The End Done Right
by Vamphile
Chapter Seventeen
Brian had insisted that Lindsay to go to see a doctor. Lindsay came out of his office with a couple of prescriptions to fill. One was for pain, one was for Xanex.
Lindsay took a Xanex and a Vicodin as soon as Gus was tucked in for the night and less than an hour later she was out cold in the guest room. Her room.
It was early when Brian climbed into bed himself, it had been an exhausting couple of days and he actually had a meeting he couldn’t miss tomorrow with the Rapkins people. He was surprised when Justin joined him in bed at a little after midnight. Justin had been in the studio and he hadn’t expected to feel him creep in ‘til after three, if at all.
Justin was quiet, rare for him when they were both in bed awake and not fucking. He was obviously deep in thought. Although Brian was lying on his back, Justin stayed completely on his side of the bed, making no move to curl up against Brian, or even make physical contact.
Brian reached for the blonde’s hand. Their fingers intertwined and they both lay there in silence. Brian spoke first.
“Justin?”
“Mmmmmm?”
”You okay over there?”
“Just thinking?”
”Care to share?”
“Mel and Lindz.”
“Pretty fucked up huh?”
”They’ve had their issues before but…”
“Yeah, I was kind of surprised too.”
“But you knew.”
”Suspected.”
“They love each other.”
“Loved.”
“Lindsay still loves Mel.”
Brian sighed, “She has to stop.”
“Can you just make yourself stop loving someone?”
”It’s not easy.”
“Could you stop loving me?”
”Tried once, didn’t take.”
”But they’ve been together so long.”
“So they should stay, even if one of them is getting hurt?”
”It could be us.”
“We’re not lesbians.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“It couldn’t be us.”
Justin turned to his side to look at Brian, and Brian turned so that their faces were close together. “Because I wouldn’t let it.”
“Well, no, I don’t see you putting up with me hitting you.”
“Not what I meant.”
“Brian, you know I wouldn’t leave you if you lost your temper.”
Brian sat up, angry now. “Yes you would.”
Justin sat up as well, draping himself over Brian's back, resting his head on Brian's shoulder. “I wouldn’t give you up, not over a fight.”
Brian's jaw clenched again. “You’d better, if I touch you, you’re gone, understand?”
”Brian, couples argue.”
“You don’t fucking hit people you love.”
“You hit Mikey.”
“That’s different, Mikey was being a twat.”
”You tell me I’m a twat all the time.”
“And yet I’ve never hit you.”
Brian shrugged the boy off his shoulders and turned so he could look in his eyes. “You don’t let people hurt you. That’s an order. That means even me, hell, especially me.”
“But when couples fight, it happens sometimes.”
“Your parents fought Justin. Your father is an utter shit, did he ever hit your mother?”
”No, but he slapped me, when I came out to him.”
“Yeah, and what did I tell you to do?”
”You told me to leave.”
“Someone hits you, you leave.”
Justin was playing with the duvet, suddenly staring at it as if it were fascinating.
Brian put a hand under his chin and lifted it, seeing tears in Justin’s eyes. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hit you.” Brian grinned lasciviously, licking his lips, unless you deserve a spanking.”
Justin smiled “I guess you have to be really strong to love someone.”
“Gotta be stronger to leave them.”
“Brian?”
“Mmmmmm?”
”Do you promise you’ll spank me again?”
“As long as you promise you will leave anyone who’s hurting you.”
“I promise.”
Brian leaned in and kissed Justin, mapping his mouth with his tongue, pulling him closer. Justin returned the kiss, and Brian's hands were strong but soft as they pushed Justin back down onto the mattress.
Eventually they fell asleep, Justin curled up against Brian, head on his shoulder and Brian rubbing his hand softly over the curve of Justin’s ass. They both slept for hours, and it was Brian's alarm, not JR that woke them in the morning.
As Brian was leaving for work he pulled Justin into the garage. “Do me a favor.”
“You want me to blow you right here?”
Brian smiled, “yes, but I don’t have time. Don’t bury yourself in the studio today, come out every once in a while to check on Lindsay.”
”Sure.”
Brian kissed him again. “Later.”
“Later.”
Lindsay was feeding JR, and had her diaper bag packed. Michael was expected at any moment to pick up the little girl. Gus was finished his cereal and bombarding Lindsay with questions about what they might do today.
“Lindz, I’m gonna go get some work done in the studio you gonna be okay?”
”Justin I’m fine, Brian is blowing all of this out of proportion.”
Justin opened his mouth to say something, and the closed it again, he had no idea what to say.
“Just knock on the door if you need me.”
Lindsay nodded.
Justin lost himself in his work. He was doing a small painting that was mostly texture. He worked with a concentration that calmed him.
After Michael came and took JR Lindsay felt lost. She felt empty, and each time she sat she started to reflect on the past couple of days, and that wasn’t helping. She startled when her cell phone rang, and laughed at herself afterwards.
It was Melanie. Full of apologies, sweet words and promises. Full of new resolutions and old excuses. Full of love. Lindsay and Mel talked for a while and Lindsay felt much better after their conversation. Gus seemed happier too after talking to momma on the phone. At around two she knocked on the studio door.
Justin emerged, covered in paint, and rubbing his hand. Lindsay tried to peek inside but Justin took a step out and pulled the door shut behind him.
“Gus and I were going to have some lunch, want to join us?”
”I’d love to but I’m in the middle of something, and…”
Lindsay smiled “I understand. She kissed his cheek, “go back to work.”
Justin backed himself into the studio, ensuring Lindsay couldn’t glimpse the work inside, and got back to the painting.
Eventually he came to a reasonable stopping point and finished his bottle of water and just stood staring at the painting
Mel and Lindsay spent most of the day on the phone, talking, and it was as if the past few days hadn’t happened.
Brian returned to find everything pretty much as he’d expected. Mel and Gus were playing on the floor. The studio door was shut but the faint sound of some crap Brian would never listen to was audible.
Gus looked up at him and smiled. “Hi daddy.”
”Hi sonny-boy”
“We’re playing castle, want to play?”
”In a couple of minutes, I’ve gotta go change okay”
“K.”
Brian was back in ten, jeans and a white t-shirt, much safer option than a $2000.00 suit around his five-year-old son.
They played for a while in relative silence; Gus was describing all the rooms in the castle in detail.
“Did Justin give you a hand today?”
”He’s been working.”
Brian nodded, figuring as much. It was then that Lindsay’s phone rang. She glanced at it, and put it back down without answering.
Brian raised an eyebrow
“Probably just Mel with another apology.”
“Another, you’ve been talking to her today?”
”Momma’s real sorry daddy, she doesn’t mean to yell.” Gus said
Brian stood up, taking the phone from Lindsay.
Lindsay followed him “Brian…”
“You’re what, gonna make this okay, work things out, what Lindz?”
Lindsay fell silent.
Brian handed her back the phone. It was still ringing. “Answer it, your wife is calling.”
Lindsay put the phone on the kitchen counter, “Brian.”
He walked away, “I meant what I said Lindz, you can have her, but the kids stay here.”
Lindsay took a deep shaky breath and went outside for some fresh air. Gus joined her and the two of them walked the grounds together, Gus with the enthusiasm of a five year old discovering everything for the first time, Lindsay smiling at Gus and doing her best not to cry.
Justin finally emerged around eight from the studio, he was out of water, and he padded down he basement steps for another case, and brought it back to the studio. Brian stopped him just as he got to the studio door. “You eaten anything today?”
”Yeah, lunch with Lindsay and Gus.” He was counting on Lindsay being too involved in her own issues to be reporting back to Brian.
Brian nodded, knowing he was lying. “Join me for dinner.”
“Late lunch, not hungry.”
Brian nodded and left it at that. But he no longer doubted his instincts. Something was wrong with Justin.
Justin closed and locked the studio door, his heart racing. He had no idea when he had become so scared of Brian. Actually that wasn’t true, he felt safe around Brian, he was scared of Brian finding out how messed up he was. He and Brian had worked so hard, for so long at fucking things up, and now they finally had it right. If he screwed it up again, he wouldn’t be able to make it, he knew that. And Brian deserved everything to be perfect. Justin wanted to be perfect for him.
Justin once again made a pact with himself that he would spend more energy making Brian happy, and if that meant cutting back on studio time, he would find a way to do it. Or at least cutting back on studio time that interfered with the time he could spend making Brian happy.
Gus was tucked into bed, and Lindsay was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. Brian, doing an amazing impersonation of his son, launched himself onto the four-poster, landing on his back, next to Lindsay. He cocked his head to the left, and then to the right, and finally said, “Christ, I think I may have let Justin go a little overboard on the rococo elegance, this ceiling is kind of…”
“Dizzying?”
Brian smiled, “yeah.”
“Well, I kind of like it, but then, I’ve always liked things a little less simple than you have.”
“Sometimes simple is the easiest way to go.” Brian pulled a joint out of his pocket, lit it, and took a drag, handing it to Lindsay who did the same.
“You can’t always just choose for things to be simple.”
”Sometimes you can, like this ceiling, I could have all of this stamped tin and crown molding pulled down in a day, leaving a smooth clean surface to start again.”
“But there would be marks, from where everything was attached and connected.”
“Spackle.” He said it slowly, taking another long toke.
“Brian, you can’t just spackle over something and make it look perfect again.”
“Yeah, but you can’t just beat the shit out of something and expect it to still be okay. If I were to start throwing hammers at it, we’d eventually have to get rid of it.”
“Can we stop talking about the fucking ceiling?”
”We were talking about the ceiling?”
Lindz was just stoned enough to laugh a little at this. “How can I just walk away?”
He pushed her sleeve up her arm, revealing the fading bruises, “how can you not?”
“She’s my wife.”
“She beats you.” Lindsay flinched at the words.
“What the fuck am I gonna do?”
”Stay here” Brian shrugged, “get a job, stay with me, get your own place, whatever you want, you know I’ll help.”
“I’m an adult, I don’t need your help.”
“Sure you do, everyone needs my help, and it’s the bane of my existence.” Brian threw his hand to his forehead in a “woe is me” gesture. The he looked at the joint that he and Lindz had almost finished “wow, this shit is good.”
Lindsay laughed again. If I stay with you, do you promise you’ll be nice?
“No.”
“If I stay here, do you promise to be good?”
“No.”
“If I stay here with you do you promise I won’t get hurt anymore?” she was crying now.
“Yes.”
He pulled Lindsay close to him, for a minute and then jumped up out of bed, grabbing her arm. “C’mon, lets you me and Justin, do something about dinner, I’m hungry.”
Lindsay giggled as Brian pulled her downstairs and they started to raid the kitchen.
Lindsay was reheating some leftover hors devours from the party while Brian knocked incessantly on the studio door.
Justin finally emerged, paint smeared on his hand, and a dot of it by his left eye. “What?”
”Eat dinner with us.”
“You’re stoned.”
Brian handed him a joint, “Join us.”
Justin remembered his earlier promise to himself and put his brush in the sink, took the proffered joint and joined them around the kitchen table where Lindsay was setting out a vast array of puffed pastry. “I have no idea what any of them are.” She shrugged. “But the round ones are really good.”
Brian and Justin looked at the appetizers carefully, “Lindz, they’re all kind of round.”
Lindsay shrugged, and popped another one into her mouth.
Brian took one and offered it to Justin. Justin turned his head away. “C’mon, eat it, we’re celebrating.”
”What are we celebrating?”
”Our new roommate, Justin, meet Lindsay, Lindsay, meet Justin.”
They shook hands formally, and then both started to giggle. Brian took the joint from Justin's and took another hit.
“This shit really is good.” Lindsay said, as she took the joint from Brian and inhaled deeply.
“Justin, eat something.” Lindsay said, you haven’t eaten all day.
Brian looked at Justin, “thought you guys had a late lunch together.”
“Oh he was too busy working to have lunch.” Lindsay said.
Brian raised his eyebrows and said nothing. Justin stared at the table. “Well then, he must be starving, and Brian held a canapé of some sort in front of Justin's mouth, Justin opened his mouth and took the hors devours and Brian's fingers into his mouth.
“Shit, it actually did taste good,” he thought to himself. And then picked up another one, watching Brian smile, he’d eat if it would make Brian happy.
It was a little later; they were all sitting around the table, happily watching the ceiling spin, drinking ice-cold vodka.
“I’ll call the contractor tomorrow and get the carriage house started, that way you and Gus and JR can have your own space.”
“Yeah, I really should get out of your hair.”
“Pfft” Justin snorted, you’re not in our hair, Brian's just afraid that if you feel smothered you’ll leave, and then he can’t protect you.”
Brian was severely wasted at this point, his words a little slurred, as he lifted his head “I’m not trying to protect anyone, you can all do whatever you want.”
They both looked at him, and he smiled “as long as I don’t think it’s pathetic.”
”See, he likes to play big protector man.”
“He’s always been my hero.” Lindsay said.
Justin shrugged, “Mine too. Didn’t say I minded.”
Brian stretched his long frame out leaning his head even further back in the kitchen chair, he could sit and listen to people sing his praises all night so long as they never knew he actually enjoyed it. He tried to scowl, but it came out more like a half smile, and finally he gave up on trying to make the right facial expression and just took another drink.
“The carriage house has great light though” this was Justin, “so if you wanted to paint again, you could set up space in there, and there’s the upper loft and the two downstairs rooms plus the main space, so seriously, you and Gus and JR could do worse.”
“You just don’t want to share your studio space” Brian said.
Lindsay laughed, “like I’d ask him to, I’m beginning to think he’s sacrificing goats in there the way he keeps it all locked up.”
Brian raised an eyebrow…are you sacrificing goats in there Justin? Cause if you are the cleaning bill is going to be a bitch.”
Justin laughed, “Not sacrificing anything in there, no goats, no virgins, no small animals.”
“No virgins, well that’s disappointing.”
“Brian!” Justin and Lindz said in unison.
“Well, I thought it would be cool to know there were still virgins in Pittsburgh.”
“I think you cured them all.” Justin said.
“Cured you.”
Justin blushed, and Brian laughed as he raised his head and looked at him.
“So I’ll call the contractor tomorrow Lindz.”
“Okay, but what are we gonna do about Mel?”
”We’ll get a restraining order if we have to, I did some research.”
“You did?”
”Yeah, that’s how I knew she couldn’t take the kids.”
”So you planned this?”
”Nope, just prepared for it.”
”My hero.”
Lindsay kissed him on the cheek and he smiled lazily, eyes still closed, body still stretched out in the chair.
Justin, feeling inspired, kissed Brian as well, and after almost a full minute of exploring his mouth, Justin stood up, Brian, his eyes still closed said “that better have been Justin.”
They all laughed.
“I’m going back to the studio for a little bit.”
”One”
“Three”
“One fifteen”
“Two thirty”
“One thirty seven”
“One forty two”
“Don’t be late.”
Brian's eyes were still closed, and Justin had a feeling that Brian wouldn’t notice what time he got into bed, but he had made a promise.
“I won’t be.”
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