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The End Done Right
by Vamphile
Chapter Thirty-Two
Saturday morning Justin was antsy. He couldn’t seem to sit still. He’d go into the studio, realize that everything had already been shipped for the show, think about starting something new and then just walk out again. He’d sit in the den, flipping aimlessly through channels, never actually stopping on anything, and then turn off the TV and wander around the house. Eventually Brian got aggravated.
“Hey.”
“Hey”
“What’s wrong?”
”What? Nothing, I’m just…” Justin was cracking his knuckles mentally running through a list of things he needed to for the millionth time.
Brian got up and walked over to him, taking his right hand and massaging it, seeing that the fingers were actually looser, and not cramped but wanting to lend Justin some comfort.
“You’re obsessing.”
“This show is going to suck.”
Brian nodded, “Probably.”
Justin hit him good-naturedly. “Brian, it’s just…” again he didn’t know how to finish the sentence.
Brian leaned down and kissed him, just a light peck, which turned into a longer kiss. Justin's hands were all over him, trying to find a place to settle which wasn’t easy with the sling wrapped securely around his shoulder and his arm strapped to his side as it was. Instead his hands moved lower, sliding beneath the unbuttoned waistband of his faded jeans.
Brian licked at Justin's bottom lip, lightly nipping at it. He put more energy into the kiss, hoping to distract Justin from whatever was spinning in his brain.
It was working, Justin could no longer think about much, he felt Brian harden against him and closed his eyes, his head thrown back as Brian's mouth found the deliciously sensitive spots on his neck and shoulders.
He pulled his shirt off, wishing he could do the same to the taller man in front of him but he had to settle for just unbuttoning it, and pressing himself against what flesh was there. Brian moaned as Justin's lips found his nipple and began to suck and flick at the same time.
Justin moved down Brian's chest, kissing each new spot with enthusiasm, and soon he was pulling Brian down with him until they were both on their knees, mouths and bodies pressed together. Things were a little more difficult with Brian’s arm still in the sling. He couldn’t lay on top of Justin too long, as he only had one arm to support him, and he couldn’t lay on his back too long before the pain of the position shot through his shoulder. He didn’t care right now, but Justin was aware of the dilemma. He stood up and Brian followed. He pulled Brian's jeans down and pushed him backwards into chair.
Justin smiled at him as he pulled a condom from the stash in the drawer and walked back over to him. Opening the package he put the latex in his mouth and used his lips and tongue to guide the sheath onto Brian's now rock hard cock, while the brunette leaned his head back and gasped at the sensation. Justin smiled.
The chair was modern in design, or retro, depending on whom you talked to but as it was mostly just a scoop of plastic with high arms there was little way for Justin to straddle Brian in such a design. Instead he turned his back to Brian, taking a step backwards and thus closer to his goal.
Seeing what the blond intended Brian pulled him back with his good arm, as Justin grasped his now sheathed shaft and held it while he impaled himself on it.
There was little Brian could do but lay back and enjoy himself as Justin used up his unspent energy riding him.
Justin threw his head back, almost unaware of Brian's presence at all except for the dick inside him. It was all he wanted to feel right now. He pressed his feet flat against the hardwood floor for leverage and lifted himself up and down, fucking himself hard. He felt Brian's hand move towards his nipple and pinch it; pulling it with a roughness he needed right now. He needed to feel this, and nothing else and Brian seemed to understand as he made his body available and his ministrations less than gentle. He eventually pushed Justin down to the floor, where he landed on his hands and knees, whimpering with need, and unfulfilled lust.
Brian angled himself behind the kid and plunged in, hard, fast, and didn’t stop, just kept pounding him, slapping his ass, a few times and watching as Justin's head flew back, with appreciation. He grabbed Justin's hair roughly, holding his head up as he leaned in and bit at his back while he continued his fevered pace. He felt Justin's body tense and stopped, pulling out completely, lightly stroking the smooth skin above Justin’s ignored hard on until he could hear the blond letting out soft sounds which he knew would turn into demanding orders if he didn’t continue soon. Waiting just a moment more he plunged back in, abusing the open hole with all his strength, laying a few well timed slaps on Justin's pale perfect ass, lightly running a finger along his weeping cock, but never letting him come.
Justin thought he might go insane, he was on his hands and knees, and each time Brian thrust into him he felt as if all the air was pushed out of his body, he wanted to come but Brian wouldn’t let him. Each time he was close, the fucker pulled, out, stroking him lightly, whispering a soothing word into his ear, waiting for the moment to pass, and then he’d start over, hard, rough, and perfect, and Justin couldn’t speak, didn’t want to, concentrated all of his thoughts on the amazing sensations and trying to come before Brian denied him again. Each time he thought he might be allowed release, each time Brian stroked directly against his prostate, and he moaned a little louder he would bite his lip, knowing he’d warned Brian of his impending release and it all stopped again.
He was crying now, frustrated, the only thought in his head was his need to come, to feel Brian inside him and finally be allowed to come.
He moved his own hand towards his erection, but Brian moved it away, as he had before, and pulled out. Justin wanted to scream. He finally broke down.
Brian, I need it please let me come, I’ll do anything, just please…” his words trailed off as Brian began his glorious assault again, fucking him harder than Justin thought possible, his body moving forward at each thrust.
“You want to come?”
Justin whimpered, “Yes. Please.”
“Are you sure?” Brian was covered in a light coating of sweat, but he could keep this up for a while, watching Justin, so desperate for him, so focused, so hot.
Brian pulled out again and Justin cried something unintelligible in desperation.
He felt the push on his side, and Justin followed the silent command, rolling over, his back against the hardwood, his legs spread wide, feet flat on the floor. Brian moved between his knees and Justin lifted his legs, pulling Brian forward, crossing his ankles behind Brian's back, careful not to move them too high to bother his shoulder.
He raised his body, begging Brian with his eyes, with his every movement to finish him off, at this point, he really didn’t care if he killed him or let him come, just so the torture would stop. Brian smiled and Justin thought he might lose it right there. Instead Brian pushed himself in again, moving slowly now and enjoying watching Justin's body react, he was squirming, trying to get more contact, trying to impale himself on Brian but with nothing for leverage, his back slick with sweat sliding easily on the smooth floor he was not in control.
Again he tried, tightening his grip around Brian's waist to make sure he wouldn’t back out of him, he reached for his own erection. Brian smacked his hand away and then unable to pull out, simply stayed perfectly still, watching the raw emotions on Justin's face as he tried to wiggle, to writhe, to do something. Finally, Brian relented, he pulled Justin's hands together, holding them at the wrist above the boy’s head with his good hand and pounded into the kid. He moved his hand lower to Justin's forearms so when he leaned his weight against his arms he wouldn’t hurt him, and angled his body. As he hit the sweet spot the keening noise from Justin was almost inhuman.
Justin felt the fire in his body, felt the need poured from every nerve ending to the sensitive bundle Brian was currently assaulting, he let himself go, feeling Brian's mouth on his and then move lower to his nipples again biting and sucking and finally, he came. Hard, and long and Brian never stopped. He released his arms and held his hip instead and pounded into him again and again, watching as Justin shot across his own belly and chest, moaning Brian's name, babbling unintelligibly, and simply relieved to be allowed release.
Brian came hard, he’d held himself back, and it hadn’t been easy, but he had wanted to clear Justin's mind, to make him forget everything, for as long as possible. He knew he also wanted to remind him, once again of what they were together. Two weeks apart wasn’t a happy equation for either of them, but they’d get through. These are the kind of things he tried to think about to keep himself from coming each time Justin whimpered his name, begged for more, or made a low moan that just shot straight through Brian’s body like no other sound.
When he finally allowed the kid to come the relief on his face was priceless, and he was pretty sure that that Justin couldn’t have done simple addition, let alone think about the myriad of issues awaiting him in the coming fortnight.
He kneeled in front of Justin, watching his body take ragged breaths, and ran his hand through the thick coating of come on his pale skin. He licked a finger, keeping eye contact with Justin, and then lowered a finger to Justin's mouth, who took it greedily, sucking at it, still in the blissful post coital haze. No words were spoken for a while as their bodies slowly relaxed. They both dozed for a few minutes. Brian awoke to Justin trying to put a pillow under his head, it had been resting on the blonde’s chest, but he was obviously ready to get up and begin pacing again.
Brian got up too; pulling his jeans back on he followed Justin curiously. The blonde seemed to be unaware of where he was going or that anyone was following him. He was walking around the great room in circles, biting his thumbnail and seemingly searching for something.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Justin jumped. “Uh, um, looking.”
Brian just raised an eyebrow.
Justin collapsed on in the chair. “I don’t know, I feel like there’s something I should be doing.”
Brian smiled, “I thought I got your mind off of things.”
“You did, but now… it’s back on things.”
“Well, we can go again.”
Justin smiled widely “We could, but we can’t just spend the weekend fucking so that I don’t get nervous.”
“Why not?” Brian almost pouted
“Because um…” Justin wrinkled his brow trying to find a good reason, but instead followed Brian upstairs where they took a bath together and spent another hour or so lost in each other.
Eventually it was a little after noon, they were both sore, and out of ideas. Justin kept cracking his knuckles until Brian wanted to put one of HIS arms in a sling to make it stop. Finally he sighed, pulled on jeans and a black wife beater.
“Come on.”
”Where are we going?”
”Someplace that will get your mind off of next week.”
“Brian, I honestly don’t think either of us could take any more I mean…”
Brian sighed, “Let’s go.” He held out his hand and Justin pulled on a pair of sweats and a shirt. Brian led him slowly through the great room, down the steps to the foyer and into the parlor/dungeon.
“Brian I know we’ve never fucked in here but it’s all dusty and…” Justin wrinkled his nose and Brian pinched the bridge of his.
“We’re not here to fuck, we’re here to…”
Justin jumped up and kissed him, “We’re gonna go through the boxes?” his smile was broad, until he saw Brian wince, “Christ, I’m sorry, are you okay? I forgot.”
“I’m fine, just, lets be careful shall we?”
“Okay, what we need to do is make three piles, “keep, toss, sell.”
”Sell?”
”Yeah like at a yard sale.”
”You watch way too many of those house and garden TV shows, we’re NOT having a yard sale.”
“Fine, then keep, toss, and donate.”
Brian nodded.
“I need a box cutter, or a knife, and my allergy meds or the dust will kill me, I’ll be right back.” Justin bounced away, happy, his mind on only one project. Brian sat against the wall, willing nothing too revealing to come popping out of the boxes as they sorted.
Justin returned, supplies in hand. He began at the top, opening boxes that were clearly labeled and finding them labeled correctly.
“So what should we do with all the old dishes and glasses?”
”Trash.”
Justin nodded, “You mean donate.”
“Right, that’s what I meant.”
The kitchen stuff was pushed back to the designated “donate” area.
“Ewww”
”What?”
“I think these are the sheets from the bed, like the last night.”
Brian shrugged; I guess they had to strip the bed.
“Yeah but, the last night, I mean, these are probably now considered medical waste”
Brian grimaced, “Trash.”
There were boxes of decorative items, none of which Brian seemed particularly attached to. “They were to create a look” he shrugged; “we’re going for a different look now.”
Justin put them in the “donate” pile and moved on.
“Papers” Justin read.
“Bring it here.”
Justin sat down next to Brian and pushed the box in front of him
Brian opened it with his one good arm, pulling out an X ray film.
“Is that…?”
“That’s me, cancer free.”
Justin pushed it back into the file, kissing Brian's cheek, and pulled another file, there was a flutter of small tickets. Justin picked them up. “What are these?”
“Nothing.” Brian tried to gather the scattered scraps with only one hand.
“They’re garage parking tickets for the hospital.”
“Yeah, for insurance purposes.”
“Why were you in the hospital this often?”
”Huh?”
”Why are they all in the middle of the night?”
”What?”
”Brian, these are from when I was in the hospital.”
“So?”
”So, you were there, apparently…a lot.”
”I might have checked on you once or twice.”
Justin picked up the pile if tickets as if they were confetti and showered them down on Brian’s head. “Once or twice?”
”Or maybe every night. I had to make sure.”
Justin leaned in closer to him, wanting to crush him in a hug, wanting to kill him for never saying anything, to anyone. “Make sure of what?”
He didn’t say anything for a while and Justin looked up, seeing a look he hadn’t seen in a while, the one Brian had when he had first tried to get him to remember the incident, when he had first taken him to the parking garage, the same eyes Justin had seen the night he so recently had his little breakdown. Panic, fear, pain, tears. ‘Make sure of what?” he repeated.
“Make sure you were still there, still breathing. I thought, you know, so many people watched during the day, but you were almost alone at night, and what if you stopped, what if you forgot, or gave up, or someone came back to finish…I…” Justin kissed him.
“You did a great job, I kept breathing ‘cause of you.”
Brian shook his head, “You were so strong. It was you, not me. There was nothing I could do.”
“You did everything. But why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were already too far gone, look what loving me did to you, I wouldn’t let that happen again. Couldn’t. Once I was sure you were okay I wasn’t going to go near you. But you came looking for me.”
Justin wanted to cry, to scream, do something, these feelings, the helplessness, not knowing, the pain, the loss, he’d tried to bury them, to forget them, and here they were, in a hundred little parking receipts. He gathered them up efficiently. “Toss.” He said.
Brian looked up at him questioningly.
“I don’t need a bunch of little pieces of paper to know you love me.”
They both smiled, and continued to sort through the papers but the rest were boring, for the most part until Justin found a bunch of sealed envelopes, each addressed to friends or family members. Brian grabbed them out of his hand quickly.
“What are those?”
“Nothing, they’re from a long time ago.”
”There’s one addressed to me.”
“Just put them in the trash.”
“Can I read mine?”
“No.”
”Brian, what are they?”
“They’re from a couple of years ago, they don’t mean anything now.”
“So why didn’t you ever deliver them?”
“They’re just letters, I wrote them, then I decided not to send them.”
“Well, I’m opening mine.” Justin began to open the envelope. Brian tackled him.
“NO!”
“Brian, I’m just…Ouch.”
“Sorry, gimme that.”
”Fine, if you don’t want me to read it, but…”
“But nothing, they were important at the time. They’re not now.”
Justin was sitting up again, running his finger down the side of Brian's face, “Can’t you just tell me what they were for?”
”They were to explain stuff, to make sure people knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That I cared, that I wasn’t just an asshole, make sure that you all remembered more than the surface.”
“Why did you think we’d forget?”
”It was from before.” Brian said trying to stand up, “We’ve done enough in this room for the day.”
”No, we haven’t.” Justin pulled him back down, straddling his legs simply to keep him in place, “Before what?”
“Before I decided to have the surgery.” Brian said quietly.
Justin stared at him, tears dropping on Brian's face, “You were just gonna die, gonna let yourself die, leaving us all with a fucking letter?”
Justin hit him in the chest.
“Ouch.”
”Good.”
“Justin, I didn’t, I couldn’t leave.”
“But you were going to, and you weren’t going to tell any of us, you were going to just disappear and leave a fucking letter.”
”But I didn’t.”
“Damn good thing or I’d have to hunt you down and kill you again.”
Brian smirked, “You’d kill me for dying?”
”You’re not allowed to die.”
“That’s probably why I didn’t”
”You really don’t like yourself do you?”
Brian sat up now, pushing Justin off of him with all the strength in his one good arm.
“Fuck you, I like myself.”
“You don’t act like it.”
”You know what, all of this shit needs to be shipped off, I don’t care who finds my checkbook receipts, it’s not worth it.”
“Why, because I might find out who you really are?”
“You know who I am.”
“I keep thinking that, and then I open up a box and I have to refigure everything I thought I knew.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m being honest.”
“What else don’t I know?”
”You know everything.”
“Why didn’t you come with me to Vermont?”
“What?”
”Vermont, you decided business was more important than me, what made you come to that conclusion, was it just your regular bullshit fear of relationships, were you afraid I might think you care or was there something you weren’t telling me?”
”What the hell makes you bring this up now?”
”It’s one of those things that always bothered me. It was simple to think you’d decided to teach me a lesson, but then, you were different when you got back, Ryder was gone, and…what the fuck happened?”
Brian sighed, “I got almost fired, Marty sold the business to Vance, if I didn’t land the Brown account that week, I would have been almost as bad off as I was after Stockwell, well, equally bad off, because while I wouldn’t have had the debt, I wouldn’t have had the client base I have now. So I had to go, or I’d have lost everything.”
”I didn’t count as part of everything.”
”You were a kid, you didn’t understand.”
“You never fucking told me.”
Brian sighed again, “No, I didn’t.”
“You’re a duck.”
“What?”
”You’re a duck.”
“Again, what?”
”Ducks, they seem so graceful, gliding across the water, but under the water, where no one can see, they’re churning their legs so fast just to keep moving and to continue to look graceful. You’re a duck.”
Brian started to laugh, hard. “Duck you.”
Justin laughed too. “Can’t you just let me help you sometimes?”
”You do.”
“Duck.”
Brian leaned in to kiss Justin, “I showed you mine now you show me yours.”
“What?”
“I told you why I didn’t go to Vermont, now why don’t you tell me something I’ve always wanted to know.”
Brian was kissing Justin's neck, his hand running through the soft blonde hair that had gotten really long in the past months, almost hitting his shoulders in soft waves.
“What do you want to know?” Justin asked, eyes half closed.
“What made you quit working for the Sap?”
Justin’s eyes were open now, his breathing changed. Brian leaned back to see his eyes. Fear?
“Nothing, I didn’t have the time to go to work and school.”
”You’re lying to me.”
“Would you trust me if I told you that you really didn’t want to know?”
”If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t have asked.”
”This is the stupidest conversation we’ve ever had.”
“No, we once talked about fucking Ronald McDonald or Mayor Cheese.”
“We were stoned then.”
“Answer the question.”
”He wanted me to do something I didn’t want to do.”
Brian continued to stare waiting for him to continue.
“Brian you know what happened.”
“I know what I THINK happened.”
“He didn’t just want me there for eye candy, and I was flying pretty high.”
Brian kept his expression blank, wondering why the fuck after all this time he’d asked, and knowing that it was because he wanted Justin to suffer, just a little bit, at a memory, the way he just had. He listened to Justin continue.
“I was dancing, and then the Sap was leading me back, to a playroom, and he um…”
Brian remained silent.
“He didn’t fuck me or anything, he wanted to, well, him and a bunch of his friends, but I said no, and he tried harder, and I kicked him in the balls, and I think I broke his tooth when I kicked him in the face, then I got home, and fucked you.”
Brian smiled, “He never hurt you?”
“No, I never let him.”
“I thought, that night, when you wanted me, and you wouldn’t let me fuck you, I thought it was because he had…hurt you.”
”Why didn’t you ask me?”
“I didn’t want the answer, I was afraid I’d have to kill the fucker, and then I’d be banned from Babylon, and I like the back room and they didn’t water down their drinks too badly.”
Justin smiled, letting the moment lighten. He dusted off his hands. “Any other monumental secrets I need to know?”
Brian shook his head.
Justin leant him a hand and pulled him to his feet, brushing his hands together in a motion that made it clear he’d seen enough.
“Call the people who cleaned out your mothers house, have them haul all this shit away, there’s nothing we need in here.”
Brian smiled does that mean we can make it a dungeon?
”Sure, but only I’ll have the key, you can’t come in without my permission.”
Brian laughed out loud, and dragged Justin back upstairs, they were both sweaty, dusty, and needed to get as far away as possible from that room… too many memories, too many secrets, and way too many tears.
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