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The End Done Right
by Vamphile
Chapter Thirty-Four
Brian hit the alarm and reached over for Justin, for a moment he was aggravated. “The kid better not be in the studio this early” he thought to himself and then he remembered. “Fuck, he’s in New York.”
He ran his hand through his hair tiredly and tried not to think about how much better he slept when there was a blonde twink drooling on his shoulder. He took a quick shower and headed to the office. He considered stopping at the diner first but wasn’t really in the mood to deal with anyone. He barely grunted a hello to Cynthia before he closed his office door and buried himself in design boards and half assed ideas and basically anything that would keep his brain occupied for a couple of hours.
Justin woke up groggy and bleary-eyed. His phone was ringing. It was Brian.
“Why are you calling me so early?”
”It’s ten am Sunshine.”
“Fuck, I thought I set the alarm.”
“Alarms can be tricky.”
“Fuck you.” Justin said, recognizing the mocking in Brian's tone.
“Don’t you need to be ready to show Emmett the sights?”
Justin lay back down, “Not for a couple of hours.”
“Well at least you’re sleeping.”
”Fucking meds make me sleep too much, you know that.”
”Take them anyway.”
“I am.”
“So how are you?”
“Tired.”
“I mean…”
“I know what you mean, I’m fine, and I’m not three years old.”
“You’re still not allowed to use that word. Have you eaten anything?”
”I just woke up.”
Deciding not to push the issue but still concerned about how Justin would react to the stress of the upcoming show coupled with their brief separation Brian decided to say nothing for now.
“Tell me again why I have to be here for two weeks?”
”Contractual obligation.”
“Next time I’m gonna read the fucking contract before I sign it.”
Brian laughed, “I think next time I’ll read it for you, just to make sure you’re not letting them put in clauses about leaving me again.”
”Brian…”
“I know, I’m kidding, when did you lose your sense of humor?”
”I think when I got about 150 miles from you.”
“That’s pathetic.”
“I know.”
“So where are you and Emmett heading?”
“Who knows, we’ll figure something out, lunch, shopping, something fabulous for clubbing and then you know, lots of drugs and an orgy.”
“Hmmm, maybe I will come there early.”
”Pfft, if all it took was sex, I’d have had you here already.”
“You had me last night.”
“Last night was hot, but it wasn’t you.”
“Awww, you miss me.”
“You don’t miss me?” Justin was using a voice that made it clear he was pouting.
“Nope, I love all the extra space, and no drool on my shoulder, it’s refreshing.”
Justin laughed, “If I thought that were true, I’d be heartbroken.”
Brian said nothing, refusing to admit just how much he wanted Justin back NOW…they’d spent too much time away from each other in the past year.
“I’ve got to go, I should shower before Emmett arrives.”
“And I’ve got a meeting in fifteen minutes.”
“Is he hot?”
“Haven’t seen him yet.”
”I expect a detailed description.”
“I’ll call you later tonight.”
“Later.”
Brian closed his phone and thanked Emmett silently; Justin's voice had been shaky. He needed a friend right now.
Justin closed the phone and cried. He knew it was stupid. He knew that it was four fucking days until Brian would be there, and that he was an adult, perfectly capable of managing without him, and yet. Brian was so recently back from his spiral, and he felt so riddled with anxiety on some days that the absolute promise that the house held for him. The safety of knowing that Brian would eventually come to their bed, that he always had that bed to crawl into, even if it were only for a couple of hours, it was something he missed more than he would admit.
He drew in a ragged breath, turning the shower hotter than he usually liked and stood under the spray relishing the feel of the water and the soothing effects of the steam. He had his morning breakdown, and now he’d be ready to face the day, and the night, and Emmett would be there to help him. Silently he thanked the meddlesome group of friends that were keeping their eyes on the both of them this week. He felt better knowing Brian was being baby sat as well.
Brian’s meeting went well and the guy was hot. He fucked him in his office after the rest of the creative team had left. It would do until he got to New York.
Justin was pulling on a t-shirt when he heard a knock at his door. He answered it, his hair still damp from the shower.
“Ooh, am I interrupting something?”
“No Em, I’m ready to go.”
“Fabulous, and you look great sweetie.”
Justin gave him a crooked smile, “I look like shit and we both know it.”
”Well, auntie Em can fix that.”
Justin raised an eyebrow, doing his best Brian Kinney impersonation. It didn’t work; on Justin it looked more cute than intimidating. Emmett laughed.
“So where are we going?”
They were walking down the hallway towards the elevator, Justin's bag slung over his shoulder, his jacket and scarf still in his hands.
“I thought we’d see a few touristy sites, and then do a little shopping, a little lunch…”
“How was your meeting?”
”What?”
”Your meeting, with the mother of the bride?”
”Oh, fine, just the same old concerns.”
Justin smiled to himself, willing to bet that there was no client at all. “Well lunch sounds good, I’m starving.”
Emmett nodded and they began discussing lunch options.
Brian was finally home. Cynthia had plied him with paperwork and meetings and phone calls to return until he began to suspect some sort of plot. Every time he thought he might be able to get out of the office someone came in with something else that needed his immediate attention. It was well past eight by the time he finally turned off the lights in his office.
He had just finished changing out of his work clothes when he heard the doorbell. He cursed to himself, and answered.
“Theodore, haven’t we seen enough of each other today?”
”Yeah, but I forgot to get you to sign these, and they quarterly tax stuff is due at the end of the month, so…”
“And you brought Blake along for moral support?”
”Well, we were heading out to dinner and then I remembered, so we swung by.”
“Swung by?” Brian wasn’t buying a word of it; they lived a half an hour in the other direction.
“Where exactly were you heading for dinner in this neck of the woods?”
Ted shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “Just have dinner with us or Debbie’s gonna have my ass.”
Brian laughed, “You’re tonight’s babysitter?”
Ted tried to blow it off, “Babysitter? No, we just figured, since now you have some free time and we hardly get to see you that…”
Brian was glaring menacingly, but then realized that his options were limited to leftover takeout, or dinner with Ted and Blake. He thought longingly about the congealed Thai noodles in the fridge from Thursday but decided he’d be a good sport. “Fine.”
Ted breathed a sigh of relief and Blake smiled at him, “I knew he’d give in.”
“No you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t, but I think he really misses Justin.”
Brian returned with shoes on and a jacket, “I don’t miss Justin, but I do miss his cooking.”
They headed out to find something that wasn’t a generic chain restaurant, but ended up at one anyway. The suburbs are like that.
Justin and Emmett were browsing through racks of outrageously hued clothing talking about nothing in particular.
Emmett held up a bright blue shirt with side insets of yellow transparent plastic for Justin's approval.
Justin wrinkled his nose and shook his head, and Emmett shrugged and added it to the growing pile of clothes to take back to the dressing room.
Justin found a sheer white shirt with a blue sheen to it that he thought might look great under a disco ball, he held it up and Emmett nodded enthusiastically.
“So when is Brian actually coming to the big city?”
”Friday, I wish he were here now.”
Emmett pretended to pout. “Well, if I’m not good company…”
“Emmett, you know that’s not it, I just hate this city, and I hate it more without him.”
“I know sweetie, but look at it this way, if you two got through those three months after the um…non wedding, then surely you can make it through two weeks.”
“I hope so.”
”You really worried sugar?” Emmett looked at Justin trying to ascertain how upset he was.
“You know Brian, he changes his mind and then it gets stuck that way. What if I’m not there and its you know, easier, or more relaxing. Fuck, I don’t have the energy for that fight again.”
“He’s not gonna do that this time baby. He loves you.”
”Fuck Emmett. I know that. I’ve known that longer than he’s known that. But he forgets, and it’s really hard to remind him sometimes.”
”Really hard?”
”Stop it, you know what I mean. Sure, he’ll fuck me even when he’s convinced himself he doesn’t love me, but… Dammit…he better not fucking forget.”
Emmett laughed, “I think you may have finally convinced him you’re not just a trick.”
“Every time I think that he pulls some shit like last month.”
“Last month, when he totaled the car?”
”Yeah, he tried it again after the accident.”
“Tried what?”
Emmett was always willing to talk to Justin and to listen but usually Justin was guarded and vague when he discussed the details of his relationship with Brian. Emmett often wondered if it was because he was protecting Brian by not sharing things Brian would deem mushy or too personal or if it was because Justin thought that talking about it might damage it in some way, jinxing it or something.
“He tried to convince me to go away again, to leave him.”
Emmett gasped, “That fucker, he did it again, I thought he was over that shit.”
”Yeah well so did I. Then his mom died, and he was like, fucking 29 again, ‘Mr. No one loves me, no one should love me, I don’t believe in love, I’m just like my dad Kinney’ it took everything I had to convince him I wasn’t leaving.” How did you finally convince him?”
”I stayed”
Emmett laughed. Justin didn’t join him.
“But now I’m not there. What if it’s easier without me?”
”It isn’t. We’ve all seen him without you, trust me, he doesn’t find life easier.”
“Emmett, promise me when you go back you’ll keep an eye on him, I don’t care if you have to camp out on the front doorstep, just don’t let him get too used to being alone.” Emmett smiled, “I don’t think he’ll have too much alone time.”
“Deb arranged all this didn’t she?”
”All what?” Emmett tried to look shocked and offended.
“The babysitting.”
”It’s not that it’s just…” Emmett trailed off.
“It’s just that you all know what a flaming disaster it becomes when Brian does that thing.”
Emmett wrapped his arms around Justin from behind, “Sweetie, that thing, that Brian does.”
“Yeah?”
”It’s usually because you let him.”
Justin turned around quickly about to argue and then stopped and slumped his shoulders.
“Yeah, it is. I forget sometimes too.”
“Well, that’s what the ‘babysitting’ is about. It’s so neither of your forget.”
Justin smiled, “You guys care about us that much?”
”Care about you? Sweetie, do you KNOW what it takes to put up with the two of you when you’re apart. First we have to keep track of you, so he can get updates. Then we have to watch him, to make sure he doesn’t end up in a coma on the floor of the gravel pit. Then we get to watch him fuck every non-blonde in Pittsburgh while swearing he doesn’t give a shit. Then we all get the glory of your company while you regale us with how wonderful the life you’re hating is. It’s fucking exhausting.”
Justin laughed even harder now. “It’s not really that bad.”
Emmett gave him a serious look. “It really is. So no forgetting.”
Justin nodded, I promise, now lets go try these on.
They went back to the hotel to change before they went out dancing. Justin was laughing hysterically at the story Emmett was telling about the straight couple that thought a rainbow themed wedding was romantic while he swiped his card to open the door. It hit him the moment he walked in.
For some reason Justin had been able to put it all out of his head with Emmett, and shopping, and he’d even managed to eat lunch without issue and in the back of his head he knew he’d see Brian soon and it was all going to be okay, but then he opened the hotel door and suddenly knew that Brian wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere near, he wasn’t coming, he wasn’t okay. He began to shake.
Emmett was still laughing when he saw the change in Justin. “Sweetie, you okay?”
Justin sat on the bed, sweating and shivering at the same time. He got up quickly and ran to the bathroom, losing his lunch and the pretzel he’d bought from a vendor earlier. He came back out and smiled a little apologetically.
“You’re shaking.”
Justin nodded, still not able to speak, his breathing was shallow, and his heart was racing. He tried to breathe, tried to remember what his doctor had told him to do to get through an attack, but it wasn’t working. He curled up on the bed. “Sorry Em.” He said quietly, tears running down his face.
Emmett was worried, he looked sick, he’d seen how tired and thin Justin had gotten when he had been working on the party and the show at the same time, but he’d seemed to have recovered, but now…Emmett wasn’t so sure. Justin pulled the duvet around him, curled up in a ball. His teeth chattering. He tried to talk to Justin but wide blue eyes stared wide with fear, not seeming to see him. He reached out to touch Justin’s shoulder but the blonde flinched away, pulling himself into a tight ball. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, but he wasn’t making a sound.
Emmett, not knowing what else to do, called Brian.
Brian was actually amused by Blake. It could be the entire bottle of red wine he’d had, or possibly the joint he’d smoked on the way to the restaurant, but Blake had amusing stories about his clients, although he refused to use real names, and had far more of a personality than anyone Brian would have imagined with Ted.
He was laughing at something when his phone rang.
“Brian, something’s wrong with Justin.”
”What the fuck’s going on?”
Emmett described the symptoms, and Brian could hear the panic in his voice. “Fuck, put the phone up to his ear, and do me a favor.”
Brian took a deep breath; he couldn’t believe he was saying this. He stood up and walked away from the table, motioning to Ted and Blake that He’d return in a few minutes.
Emmett.”
“Yes Brian?”
”Look, just run your hand along his back, and give him the phone.”
“Okay.”
”Justin, you there?”
“Brian?”
”You okay?”
”I’m f…”
”Don’t fucking even think about it.”
”Scared Brian.”
”I know.”
”It’s not gonna be okay.”
”It is.”
”You’re not coming.”
”Yes I am.”
“Brian.”
”I’m right here Justin, I’ll be there in a couple of days I promise.”
”Brian, you can’t come here, you need to…”
”Shhhh, you’re going to be okay, and I’m coming there in a couple of days, just listen to me okay? Justin are you listening?”
”Mmmmmm hmmm.”
“You’re just doing that thing, that panic thing, you’re really good at it sonny-boy. You do it better than anyone I know. You don’t do anything halfway. But it’s just panic, it’s not real, I promise.”
”How do you know?”
”I know everything.”
”No you don’t”
”Yes I do.”
”Nuh uh.”
Brian relaxed, Justin was in a teasing mood, and he’d be okay.
“I know absolutely everything and the one thing I know better than anyone else is you.”
“Are you mad at me?”
”Why the fuck would I be mad?”
”Because I’m insane?”
”We’ve been through this, I like you insane, it keeps things interesting.”
”I’m sorry.”
”You’re not allowed to say that either.”
”Brian, I’m okay now.”
”Are you sure?”
”Yeah.”
“Breathe for me.”
Justin inhaled deeply and exhaled. “See, I’m okay.”
”Go out with Emmett tonight, don’t take too much E and no coke or crystal, you don’t need your heart racing any more tonight.”
”I promise.”
”I’ll stay on as long as you need me.”
”I’m okay now, go back to whatever you were doing.”
”I’m having dinner with Ted and Blake.”
Justin laughed “No wonder you want to stay on the phone with me.”
Brian laughed too.
“I’m gonna go now Brian.”
”Okay, take a shower, and relax.”
“I will, I love you.”
”I know.”
”Call me later?”
“Later.”
Brian hung up the phone and returned to the table. “Client issue it’s resolved.”
Neither Ted nor Blake believed him for a moment, they both knew it was Justin, but they were also both smart enough not to say anything.
Brian gripped his own knee under the table trying to make his hands stop shaking. Fine, Justin was okay, but now he was a fucking mess. The kid was in the city, alone and scared. No, Emmett was there, he wasn’t alone. He ordered another bottle of wine and his dinner companions sat back knowing the evening might end up being longer than they had originally anticipated.
Emmett continued to rub his hand along Justin's spine while the blonde talked to Brian. He had no idea what they were saying to each other, Justin was mumbling into the phone and he only caught every few words but he felt the boy relax. He felt his heart slow, and his breathing return to normal. He heard him laugh. Christ, ten minutes ago Emmett had been ready to rush the kid to the emergency room, and now he was laughing, and teasing Brian. Emmett shook his head; these two forgot what they meant to each other. They were both fucking insane.
He was still rubbing Justin's back when the blonde hung up the phone.
Justin lay there for a while, his eyes closed, pretending that it was Brian's hand soothing him. Remembering Brian's words. His promise. He’d be here.
He sat up, and smiled a little. “Sorry ‘bout that, I guess I just freaked.”
“A little, but it’s okay, if you don’t want to go out…”
”No, just give me a few minutes to shower, and then we’ll go.”
”Okay baby. I’ll get changed.”
Justin nodded and let the hot water soothe him back to full calm. He let it wash away the tears and the stiffness in his shoulders and when he was dressed in his new form fitting brown leather jeans and a dark blue top that accentuated his eyes while also drawing attention to his pale skin. He looked amazing. Emmett forgot how hot Justin looked when he really tried and reminded himself silently that he wasn’t worth dying for.
Emmet had gone with bright red leather pants and a purple shirt that accentuated his muscular arms and sculpted torso. He was flamboyant and eye catching and beautiful. The two took off together and enjoyed each other’s company as they drank a couple of beers and surveyed the club. It was Tuesday night, but the crowd was starting to build. They smiled at each other and made their way to the dance floor, happily dancing with each other, and others who offered. Emmett pressed a tab of E into Justin’s hand and he swallowed it dry, dancing with a hot guy with long brown hair while he waited for the drugs to take over.
A little while later, the club was dazzling. Justin was feeling no pain and Emmett was watching him carefully. He hadn’t taken anything himself, after Justin’s little episode he felt the need to have his wits about him, but he also understood that Justin might need to lose himself a little for the night.
Justin did go disappear with a beautiful dark haired guy, black hair and startling blue eyes, but he returned, with a broad smile and a satisfied stagger fifteen minutes later. He danced with Emmett some more, losing himself to the music. Emmet offered him a popper and he let his eyes roll back for a few seconds and danced even harder. Eventually he found himself with a blonde god, Six foot three, perfect body, and amazing abilities with his mouth. He was smiling even more broadly when he returned again. Emmett decided it was time to take him home.
“I want to stay a little longer.”
”Sweetie, you’ve got to be at the gallery at ten tomorrow and it’s already two thirty.”
“Fuck, I have to be back by three.”
”Still?”
”It’s the rules.” Justin smiled, “Watch, the phone will ring at 2:59”
Emmett grabbed Justin, paid the coat check for their coats and hailed a cab. He poured the blonde into the taxi, and gave the hotel address. They got back to the room at 2:58 A minute later the phone rang.
“See.” Justin said as he answered.
“See what?” Brian asked.
“Nothing, I was just saying you call a minute early.”
“I do not, I called at three.”
“It’s 2:59”
”It takes time to dial.”
”You have voice dial.”
”What the fuck are you on?”
”You said it could do E.”
”Where’d you get it.”
”Emmett, duh, I don’t take candy from strangers.”
Brian laughed, “You’re flying.”
”I am, you should be too, then we could fuck, and we’d be fucking flying.” Justin started to laugh uncontrollably.
“Is Emmett there?”
”Yep.”
“Put him on for a second.”
“Sure thing.”
“He wants you to watch me” Justin said, handing the phone to the taller man.
“Brian?”
”You staying?”
”I’ll stay, no problem.”
“Make sure he drinks a lot of water, and don’t give him any fucking valium to help him come down, he’s already got a sleeping pill, oh and he’ll forget, so make sure he takes it, and his other meds, they’re packed in the inside zipper of his suitcase.”
“Okay”
“Are you on anything.”
”I thought I’d baby-sit tonight.”
”I owe you one.”
”I’ll be sure and collect.”
Brian heard Justin giggling, and then Emmett made a small yelping sound. Brian growled. “You’re not collecting from him tonight.”
”Brian, I value my life a little more than that.”
“I want to talk to my…Brian.”
Emmett handed the phone back to Justin. “You should have seen the guy who blew me tonight, he was hot. Not as hot as you, but still.”
Brian smiled and tried to think of it as just another trick, he was not gonna start getting jealous about shit like this now.
“What was his name?”
”Shhhh, that’s against the rules, no names, I called him Blondie.”
”So he was blonde?”
”Nope, the other guy was, I called him Turk.”
”Why Turk?”
Justin started to laugh. “Um, I don’t remember, but he had a great tongue, Blondie had black hair and liked it hard and fast.”
“I’m glad you had fun.”
”It’s more fun with you, I like you hard and fast, or hard and slow, or…well, just hard.”
Brian smiled, “yeah, well, you do that to me.”
”Do I make you horny baby do I?” Justin asked in a terrible Austin powers impression.
“Not when you’re this tweaked.”
Justin pouted. “You can’t see it but I’m pouting.”
”I can hear it.”
”Brian, come here.”
”I will come once I’m there.”
”Promise?”
”Yes.”
”Did you fuck the client?”
”Yes.”
”Was he hot?”
”Not as hot as you Blondie.”
Justin giggled. “I should go, I have a guest to entertain.”
“That’s Emmett, it’s a different kind of entertaining.”
”Pfft, I know, you don’t fuck your friends. Duh, I’m tweaked not stupid.”
“Okay then. Go take your meds and drink some water, and go to sleep.”
“Do you remember that you love me?”
”Yes.”
”Good, don’t forget okay?”
”Okay.”
”I remember stuff about you.”
”Like what?”
”Like that it makes you moan when I lick the tattoo on the inside of your thigh and that I love that, oh, and I love you.”
Brian laughed again. “It’s all true.”
“G’night Bri.”
”G’night sunshine.”
Justin closed the phone and Emmett pretended not to have heard most of the conversation.
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