The Holy Church of Brian and Justin


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The End Done Right

by Vamphile

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Justin woke first. His heart was racing. It was Saturday…THE Saturday. He closed his eyes against the swell of panic, focused on breathing normally. It didn’t work. He was in the bathroom moments later vomiting. It’s not as if he hadn’t expected this. And with little in his stomach it was mostly just dry heaves. He stood up, feeling his head spin. He sat down quickly on the tile step that led to the Jacuzzi.

As soon as he sat on the hard surface he was reminded of the previous night. He smiled then. Brian had been amazing, had somehow known just what he needed. He moved over towards the mirror, his back to it, turning his head, trying to see the marks he was sure were there.

They were. His ass was still red, and a few purplish spot were on either cheek. He was admiring them when he heard Brian snort out a half laugh.

“Proud of yourself hmmmm?”

Justin blushed a little. “I just wanted to see…”

Brian stepped forward and wrapped pulled Justin close. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just woke up a little scared. Today’s gonna be…”

“Today’s going to be fine, and by this time tomorrow, you and I will be back in our bed, in our house living OUR life.”

Justin leaned a little further into Brian. “I can’t wait.”

“I know but we’ve got a lot to do before then.”

“We do?”

“Well first, we have to fill the tub, and then, I think I’m going to have to fuck that incredibly hot red ass of yours at least twice. After that, we’ll figure something out.”

Justin was smiling again by the time Brian started running the bath.

They followed Brian’s the agenda…and then some. When they finally emerged from the bathroom, both a little waterlogged and extremely sated, Justin could almost handle the thought of walking to the gallery and dealing with Ranston all afternoon.

He had several interviews scheduled with art critics from some very prominent papers and magazines. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say.

“What if I get tongue tied.”

“Never gonna happen.”

“How do you know?”

“Because of all the things you’re likely to lose… your keys, your wallet, your mind, I doubt you’ll ever lose your astounding ability to babble endlessly.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “I don’t lose my keys that often.”

“No, only every time you put them down in the house. You know Freud says that means you don’t really want to leave the house.”

“Yeah, it takes Freud to figure that one out.” Justin said.

Brian was getting dressed; Justin was staring blankly at the closet. Brian glanced over and wondered what the kid was doing.

“You know, not that I’m against your being naked but you are going to wear something for your interviews right? I mean, sure, naked will prevent having to answer a lot of questions, but the photos might be embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?”

“Well, hot, but I’m the only one who gets to keep naked photos of you.”

“You have naked photos of me?”

Brian shrugged. “You sketch when you see me sleeping…I grab a Polaroid.”

“Brian!”

“What, I needed something to put in the frame on my desk.”

Justin laughed, “You better at least keep them in your briefcase.”

“Oh I do. And a few on a private file on my computer, although if I know Cyn, she’s seen them.”

“Brian! Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m kidding.”

Justin tried to believe him. “What the fuck am I gonna wear?”

“The brown wool Dolce pants with the burgundy shirt, and your Prada boots.”

Justin scrunched his face. “Too formal.”

Brian was about to roll his eyes but then realized Justin was right, and there were going to be photos. He got serious and started flipping through Justin’s clothes. They were all neatly hung in the closet because he’d hung them up the last time he was here. And they had the stuff they’d purchased last weekend at Barney’s. There had to be SOMETHING.

“I can’t believe you don’t have this figured out already.”

Justin shrugged, “I was probably in denial or something.”

Brian shook his head. “Every time I think you’re finally the best homosexual you can be, you go and do something like this.”

“Nagging isn’t gonna help…just find me something to wear.”

Brian pulled out a pair of dark boot cut jeans that he knew fit Justin perfectly…”No, not jeans.”

“These.” He pulled the dark brown leather pants and button down bias cut shirt with subtle diagonal striping in pale yellows and a deeper brown that picked up the brown in the pants and accentuated the golden blonde of his hair. The Prada boots were still the best bet.

Justin nodded. “Okay.”

Brian tossed the clothes to him. “Get dressed.”

When they were both finished dressing Brian considered asking Justin if he wanted to eat something but decided that the answer would just piss him off. Today, he’d let the kid starve, and tomorrow he’d force-feed him if he had to.

Justin was pacing the room. His hair was almost below his collar, and the shirt skimmed his body perfectly, showing off his lithe compact torso without accentuating how damn small he still was. He hadn’t put back all of the weight he’d lost over the last nine months.

Brian thought he might look better than he’d ever seen him and fought back the urge to undress him. They didn’t have time; he had to be at the gallery in less than an hour.

Sit down.

Justin sat, cracking his knuckles.

Brian handed him a bag, “This is for you.”

“What?”

“It’s a gift.”

Brian I thought…

“I celebrate accomplishments. Today is an accomplishment.”

Justin smiled and pulled the item from the bag, it was heavy. “You made Cynthia wrap this?”

“Fuck you I did it myself.”

Justin looked up, “Really?”

“Yeah, and you’re wrapping all the Christmas presents when we get home, because fuck that’s a pain in the ass.”

Justin nodded. “Fine.”

“You’re not allowed to use that word.”

“Even in agreement.”

Brian shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”

Justin shot him a ‘whatever’ look and continued running his hand across the wrapping paper.

“You know, the gift is UNDER the paper. I didn’t just buy you something shiny.”

Justin looked up, a tear visible. “Sorry, It’s just, I don’t think you’ve ever actually given me like a real live present before.”

Brian clenched his jaw, angry with himself. Justin shouldn’t have to be so grateful for small kindnesses. “Yeah well, if it takes you this long to open one I may never do it again.”

Justin started to pull the paper away. He turned the large heavy book over.

“It’s got those Van Gogh sketches that suck in it. I figured you could benefit from having them around. That way you don’t have to track down the exhibit every time you start thinking you’re a hack.”

Justin was crying now. “Brian thank you.”

“It’ll go in the library when it’s finished.”

“Library?”

“Yeah, you’re right, the dungeon should be in the basement, right next to the gym, so when you get home you’re gonna have to talk to Gregory so we can get started.”

“You’re really gonna let it be a library?”

“We’re gonna have to buy more books though, cause with a two story bookcase and a librarians ladder, and a double sided desk, so we both have work space…it’s gonna seem silly to only have the one.”

Justin smiled wider. “We’ll get more books.”

“There’s more to the present.”

“There is?”

“Open it.”

Justin did and found an envelope inside. He pulled out two airline tickets and looked up at Brian in wonder and a little confusion.

“I can’t leave until late April, because of the carriage house renovations. And I really have to be back at KinnetiK and to help Lindsay with Gus once he’s out of school. So my ticket is for two months. Yours is open ended.”

Justin opened the paper folded in the envelope.

“Cyn booked the flights and helped with the itinerary. You’ll get lots of time in Rome and Paris Madrid, Prague, Berlin, London, and then once I head back, it’s kind of less scheduled, you’ll be able to go back and see anything you think you missed or whatever.”

Justin was truly crying now.

“This gift has three conditions,” Brian said, as he pulled Justin off the bed and held him, whispering into the top of his head.

“The first is that you’re healthy before we leave. That means an actual doctors appointment.” Justin nodded. “The second is that you understand that I will be off shopping while you spend twelve hours staring at a single painting.” Justin smiled at that one. “And the third is that you promise that no matter how long you want to stay, and how in love with Europe you are, you’ll come home.”

Justin nodded adamantly at that one. “I promise I’ll always come home.”

Brian smiled. “Good, now go away.”

“What?”

“You’ve got to get to the gallery, and I’m going to meet oh say, a million people at the airport.

“You’re meeting them at the airport?”

“That was an exaggeration, I’m meeting them in the lobby, but either way, you have an interview to give.”

Justin nodded. He had a gift for Brian as well but decided to save it until later.

Brian kissed the top of his head again. “I love you.”

Justin inhaled deeply; it still affected him when Brian said it. He smiled, kissed Brian on the lips, grabbed his coat and bag and headed out. By tomorrow, he’d have lots of new things to worry about, but they’d be easy, because he’d be home, and Brian loved him.

Brian squared his shoulders once Justin left. Relieved that the morning had gone as smoothly as it had. He hadn’t known what to expect but he‘d expected the worst. Justin was holding it together admirably under the circumstances.

He rolled a joint and sat down, letting himself relax a little. Everyone should be there within the next couple of hours and he wasn’t sure he was ready for the onslaught.

Justin wiped his tears with gloved hands as he walked towards the gallery. Brian could be so fucking thoughtful sometimes it pissed him off. And in the spring, they were going to see EVERYTHING. He was so excited he almost wasn’t worried about the show.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Justin looked like a deer caught in headlights as he stood by one of his larger works and allowed the photographer to direct him a little.

This was his third interview and the third photographer and he still wasn’t sure what they wanted him to say. They asked things about his inspiration, and his choice to work out of Pittsburgh rather than New York. They asked him about his daily routine and his work habits. What made him decide to be an artist in the first place? He answered honestly if not fully. Leaving Brian’s name out of it.

He gave mostly vague and seemingly ‘deep’ answers when in fact, they were just bullshit to keep everything on the surface. “None of this.” He thought to himself. “Is anyone’s business by mine, and maybe Brian’s. They don’t need to know any of this to appreciate my work.”

But he smiled, and remembered that if this went well, he could bury himself back in the studio, and rarely have to deal with people again. It was that thought, and the image of walking through Paris with Brian that kept him from snapping.

He could tell Ranston was pleased with his responses, and felt an annoying amount of relief at that.

One of them asked him to stand by the large display of six canvasses. He wanted to refuse. There was a part of him that wanted to pull them down off the wall. There had only originally been five, but he’d added a sixth a couple months ago and felt the set was finally up to date. It would never be complete, but he was very okay with that.

They asked him about the set.

“It’s pieces of my life.” Was all he would say about it. Anyone who knew him would recognize most of the pieces, anyone who didn’t, well, they didn’t matter.

One of the reporters had done more research than most. He was from Pittsburgh Living and knew more of Justin’s story than others. “Did your work change much after the incident at your prom?”

Justin’s mouth opened and then closed again. He hadn’t been prepared for questions about the bashing but he had been news at the time, and this reporter had been in Pittsburgh so it made sense. He tried to collect his thoughts.

“It changed a lot. Not only because of the damage done to my motor skills, which meant I had to work in different mediums. But because it changed the way I saw the world. Something like that doesn’t happen and leave you unaffected.”

It was the best he could say at the moment, besides, it was no one’s business. He was beginning to get resentful of the prying questions.

Luckily he only had a brief press conference with some less important publications left and then he could go hide in a corner.

He answered the multiple reporters’ redundant questions and breathed a deep sigh when they finally left.

“You did well Mr. Taylor.”

“Thanks, I’m going out for coffee.”

Ranston nodded. He’d seen the press take its toll on artists before, and Justin had never actually struck him as the most stable of men in the first place. He was just relived that the tall guy…Brian, hadn’t been around for this. He had a feeling a lot fewer questions would have been answered and a lot more reporters would have walked away slightly intimidated and writing more about Mr. Taylor’s “bodyguard” than his art.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Debbie and Carl were impressed with the suite. “Shit, I haven’t stayed anyplace this nice since they put me in that private room in the hospital when I had Michael.”

Brian smiled. “I figured you and Carl could use a vacation, and some time alone, after living with Emmett.”

Carl shrugged, “He’s not so bad, you get used to him.”

“HOLY SHIT!” Debbie’s voice reverberated through the room “Carl, check out the size of this tub.”

“And that’s my cue to leave” Brian said. “See you at the show.”

Carl was heading towards Debbie’s voice when Brian closed the door.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He returned to his own suite to find Emmett and his new man waiting for him.

“Brian you should come out with us, we’re going sight seeing.”

Brian simply shook his head. You two have a good time, I’m looking forward to a couple of drinks and a couple of hours of not having a pacing blonde cracking his knuckles incessantly.”

Emmett shrugged and walked away arm in arm with Finn. Apparently they’d been dating for several months now but Emmett had decided that his mistake in past relationships was to go public too soon.

His faulty logic was pointed out to him by Ted, Blake, Michael, Debbie, and anyone else who remembered Drew but he ignored them all and swore that his keeping Finn to himself for a while was the reason they’d lasted so long. He seemed happy so everyone simply accepted Finn. Mostly because he made Emmett happy and had an absolutely drool worthy Scottish brogue.

Brian was wrong about getting time alone without a pacing blonde in his room. he had just poured himself a double when he heard a knock at the door.

He barely got the door open before a miniature version of himself was hugging his knees. Lindsay smiled somewhat apologetically. “He wouldn’t stop asking when he could see you.”

Gus let go of Brian’s leg and ran around the suite calling for Justin.

“Daddy, where’s Jussin?”

“Justin’s at work. You’ll see him when you get home.”

Lindsay smiled again. Brian I can’t thank you enough for the flight, and the suite. I’m not sure how Gus would have fared a 5-hour drive. And it’ll be fun to stay a couple of extra days and take him sight seeing.”

He shrugged, sitting down and swallowing half of his drink in a single gulp. “Michael and Ben have JR?”

“Brian you know Mel’s taking her for the week.”

He finished his drink. Saying nothing.

“How’s Justin holding up?”

“He seemed okay this morning, which probably means he’s in a corner of the gallery crying at the moment.”

Lindsay was pacing now. “The show will be fine I’m sure.”

Brian nodded, wondering why she was pacing and fidgeting if she was so sure. He had convinced himself it would all be okay, but Lindsay was currently making it difficult for him continue his forced optimism.

“Would you sit the fuck down.”

“Daddy mommy says you shouldn’t say fuck.”

Brian laughed, and Lindsay gasped. “Gus! I told you not to use that word.”

“I was tellin’ daddy not to use it.”

“Daddy can use it if he wants, but he shouldn’t say it in front of you.” The last part of the statement was directed at Brian.

“Wow Lindz, you’ve got that mom glare down.”

She took his glass and poured him another drink, finishing half of it herself before handing it back to him. “Justin’s going to be fine.”

“I know that.”

Gus was spinning around in circles when Brian looked over at him. “This is new.”

He stopped and tried to take a step, giggling uncontrollably when he fell down. The dresser was inches from his head and both Brian and Lindsay moved quickly before it registered that he hadn’t actually made contact before he fell.

He tried to stand up again but Brian grabbed him before he could stumble into the furniture and actually do any damage.

“What the fu…what are you doing?”

“I was spinnin’”

Brian smiled a little. “why.”

“’Cause spinnin’s fun, me and Sam spin all the time.”

“Don’t do it in here, you’ll get hurt.”

“Wanna spin. Spin me daddy.”

Brian did and Lindsay's heart melted a little. She had several regrets in her life, and she wasn’t always thrilled with Brian’s choices. But she’d never regretted choosing him as the father of her child.

His love for the boy was obvious. And his relationship with him had changed since they’d been living on the same grounds. She was beginning to feel that Brian might be right. An addition to the house would make life easier, and then she could stay, giving Gus a chance to grow up knowing his father.

This Brian Kinney, a somewhat different man from the one she’d had to get high in order to convince him to be the father in the first place. This was a dad worth knowing.

Brian was watching Gus’s face as he spun the boy around, the look of delight in his eyes, the infectious sound of his giggling, mixed with four shots of whiskey made Brian feel something that on anyone else might have been described as giddy. Brian Kinney didn’t do giddy, so instead he just called it glad to see his son happy.

When he finally collapsed on the chair, Gus on his lap still laughing, he promised himself that he’d do whatever it took to make sure Gus stayed this happy forever.

His mind wandered back to Justin, and as thoughts of what he’d been through in his relatively short life flashed, he hugged Gus a little tighter. Gus would never have to deal with anything like that. He made himself that promise even while Gus struggled out of Brian's arms to show his daddy how to spin right, and once again almost clocked himself on the head with an end table.

Lindsay caught him this time, and caught the look in Brian’s eyes. He was worried about Justin. More worried than he’d admit. She wanted to say something that would assuage his fears but there was nothing to say.

“Gus, it’s time for your nap. Say goodbye to Daddy, you’ll see him at home next week.”

“Bye daddy, say hi to Jussin’ for me.”

“Bye Gus.”

“Thanks Lindz.”

She smiled as she held Gus’s hand and shut the door behind her.

Brian sat staring at nothing for a while. He wanted to call Justin and see how he was doing but thought he might still be in mid interview.

Justin was in fact doing okay. He was sketching ideas for the library. When he’d talked to Dr. Blackstone about his obsession with getting the house done, and how he wanted it to be perfect for Brian the man had laughed at him.

“You wanted it for yourself.”

Justin had looked at him confused, shaking his head.

“Justin, you left home when you were 17 and haven’t lived anywhere permanently since then. You’ve been in Brian’s loft, and Debbie’s house, Ethan’s apartment, and borrowed some couch space in New York, but except for a few months of a rented studio, that you admit never felt like home, you haven’t had a place to call home that couldn’t have been pulled away at any moment.”

Justin thought about that a lot these days. The house was his. His name was on the deed next to Brian’s, but more than that he’d left his mark in every detail of renovation and decoration.

His sneakers were thrown under the sofa where Brian couldn’t see them and complain, his artwork was on the walls, his tastes were reflected in almost every aspect of the place. Sometimes he didn’t trust that it would be there when he got back.

The Dr. was right, he hadn’t had a home in a long time. His mother had sold their home when his parents divorced. He’d never really lived in that town house. A couple days after the bashing, and that’s it. It was never his. The loft was never anything but Brian's no matter how long he lived there, even after the Stockwell debacle Brian had redecorated and made it his again, not theirs. This was theirs. But somehow, more importantly, his, and so the library would be just the way he wanted it.

His mind traveled around these ideas in circles as he tried to ignore the fact that the show’s start time was approaching rapidly. He shook his hand out to loosen his fingers and went back to designing a double sided desk that would accommodate Brian’s need for clean lines and his need for things not to look like they just got delivered from the loft.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Jennifer sighed. She had HOPED Ben and Michael wouldn’t bring Hunter, but then had a feeling the boy would have shown up even if Brian hadn’t bought him a ticket.

He would not take her polite hints that he should go back to his suite and check in with Ben, or Michael, or both. He and Molly seemed more intent upon lounging across the sofa, and each other in her suite and doing a very bad job at hiding the fact that they really wished that she would leave.

She’d been almost as upset as Justin when she’d first found out about the two, but she’d learned her lesson after almost losing her son. And so she’d accepted Hunter into Molly’s life. Trying to remain pleasant as he continued to be one of the most annoying boys she’d ever met. She’d never thought she’d wish Molly had found someone more like Justin’s boyfriend.

She shook her head and popped back into the living room area for nothing in particular. It was her method of making sure they didn’t forget where they were while they lost themselves in each other on the couch.

She wondered for a moment if this might be her fault. Perhaps if she had married someone less like Craig her children wouldn’t be drawn to these types of men. But she knew that wasn’t it. She just didn’t like Hunter.

She and Molly had appointments on Tuesday and Wednesday at NYU and Columbia respectively. Jennifer loved that Molly might stay close to home, but secretly thought that maybe the University of Arizona would be good for Hunter and Molly’s relationship. Well not good for it, more a nail in the coffin of it, but that would be good for Jenn.

She sighed again and looked at her watch. She could legitimately kick Hunter out in another 45 minutes.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Michael and Ben were just glad Hunter was occupied. Molly was nice enough, and Michaels initial aggravation at yet another man in his life falling for a Taylor blonde had faded. What he was left with now was a large luxurious suite, Hunter gone for hours and Ben not having any papers to grade. Melanie had JR. Michael and Ben finally had some time to themselves. They used it well. Both realizing almost too late that Hunter would be back any minute and hurrying to shower before the show.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Blake was trying to convince Ted that the breeder who was watching Blue was excellent.

“If all goes well, the stud will have done his work by the time we get back to Pittsburgh.”

Ted tried to nod and agree but he was worried about his baby.

Blake did what he could to take the mans mind off of things and eventually they found their way to the Jacuzzi in their bathroom.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Brian couldn’t take it anymore he called Justin.

Justin heard Brian's ringtone, (love you madly by Cake), and picked up.

“Hey you.”

“Hey, you in the middle of an interview?”

“Nope they’re over, I’m sketching the library for Gregory.”

Brian closed his eyes, relieved. Telling him about the library had been a good idea, giving him something else to focus on was the goal…it had worked.

“This is gonna cost me a fortune isn’t it?”

“Nope, I’m paying for it.”

“Like hell.”

“It wasn’t a question.”

“It isn’t a debate.”

Justin sighed. “Brian, eventually, you’re going to have to let me pay for something.”

“Eventually I will.”

“When is eventually… on your calendar?”

“I don’t have my calendar with me.”

Justin sighed. “Well at least I know what we’ll be talking about on the flight home.”

Brian laughed, “I wasn’t planning on talking much.”

“Yeah, you’re usually to far gone to talk but hey, that’s when I can get you to agree to lots of stuff.”

“We’ll see.”

“I’m thinking of banning that phrase.”

“I’m thinking of banning any more banning of phrases.”

“Did everyone get there alright?”

“No hundred pieces of flaming anyone.”

“Well that’s good. Any chance you can, you know…keep them from coming to the show?”

“No.”

“But you’re gonna be here?”

“No.”

“What?”

“Sorry, got tired of answering that question, thought I’d try a new answer.”

“You’re evil.”

“I’m sweet.”

“You know, I could be back at the hotel in fifteen minutes, we’d have time for a little actual fun before this clusterfuck begins.”

“Clusterfucks can be fun.”

“Not this kind.”

“Maybe not for you. The rest of us are going to be highly amused.”

“Amused?”

“You’re kind of cute when you’re nervous, aggravated and forced to schmooze.”

“Only you would find that cute.”

“Only you would be cute doing that.”

“Exactly how drunk are you?”

“Barely drunk.”

“Humph.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“And then we’ll leave?”

“We’re already packed, the plane leaves at two am, we’ll be in our own bed by five.”

“Pro…”

“If you ask me to promise I’m canceling the flight and we’re staying in New York, with everyone, for three days.”

“See you soon.”

“Later.”

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

The doors opened, and patrons began filing in. The people from the backers brunch were there, as were several members of the press who were either looking for additional bits to add to their stories about peoples reactions or those who had not been able to schedule an interview.

Justin felt like he was going to throw up, or pass out.

He saw Debbie before anyone else, but then again, she’s hard to miss. And in her bright purple dress with hot pink accessories she was louder than any of the artwork.

“Sunshine!”

“Hey Deb.”

“Look at you, New York’s been good for you.”

Justin grimaced. “I can’t wait to get out of this city.”

“I know honey but I’m fucking proud of you.”

“So am I Justin.”

Justin turned at the sound of his mother’s voice. Hugging her. “Mom, I’m so glad you could come.”

“Like I’d miss this.”

“Like Brian would let any of us miss this.”

Justin looked at Debbie, clearly confused.

“He paid for everyone’s tickets and rooms, you knew that right?”

Justin shook his head. “I had no idea.”

“Well that’s Brian for ya.” Ted said as he joined the group, “Never let it be said he doesn’t go all out when he wants something.”

Brian reached them just in time to hear Ted’s comment. He snaked his arms around Justin’s waist. “Yes, but the difference between you and me Theodore is that I actually GET what I want.”

Ted turned his back to Brian, and wandered over to join Blake who was less familiar with Justin's work and fascinated by the pieces he was currently viewing.

Justin leaned back against Brian.

“Mr. Taylor, I have someone I’d like you to meet.”

Ranston was pulling Justin away from Brian and reminding him again they needed to keep their distance during the show.

Brian laughed. “I am not going to miss that guy.”

They all chatted amicably about nothing and then separated to view the show itself.

He stood next to Lindsay who was studying a portrait of Brian holding Gus. “He really does look like you.”

“Lucky for him.”

“I’m glad Michael and Ben agreed to watch him for a little bit. I’ll head back soon so they can come show their support.”

“Don’t hurry, you deserve a night out, even if it is a pretentious art opening.”

“I wish Mel could have come. She wanted to but her cousin couldn’t watch JR.”

“Yes, you can see we’re all missing her.”

“Brian…”

“Hey, I didn’t like her when you were married to her. You can’t ask me to pretend to like her now.”

“Can I ask you to be civil?”

“I get it, no yelling in front of the kids.”

“Thank you.”

He kissed her cheek. “Hang in there Lindz.”

He walked off to see if he could steal a few moments with Justin before Ranston dragged him away again.

Justin saw Brian signal him with an almost undetectable motion. He smiled. It amused him that the skill Brian used for cruising men worked equally well when he needed to communicate with him.

They met in a quiet corner. “Everyone seems impressed.”

Justin shrugged. “I think it’s going okay. Some pieces have sold already.”

“You’re brilliant.”

“Shut up.”

Brian leaned in to kiss him and Justin backed away just a bit. He grabbed Brian’s shirt and pulled him around another corner and then ducked behind a roped off area.

Brian followed.

“I um, wanted to give you something.”

Brian raised his eyebrows.

“It’s no big deal, just something I saw and well, I mean if don’t want it, or want to or…”

“Justin.”

The blonde looked up at him.

“What do you want to give me.”

He handed Brian a box.

“We don’t have to I just thought, you know… maybe on our right hands.”

Brian opened the box to find two Titanium bands. They were not the one’s they’d chosen for the wedding. These were bolder, black and silver, with a very subtle tension set stone. Brian wasn’t sure what to say.

He’d considered bringing the ring issue up with Justin recently but had been a little hesitant. Okay, absolutely terrified that if they tried in any way to change their current arrangement he’d lose him again.

He picked up the larger of the two bands.

“It’s inscribed.”

Brian squinted to see what it said. Two words. “Don’t forget.”

Brian smiled and picked up the smaller band, it read simply “I’m staying.”

Brian picked up Justin's right hand, which was now shaking, and slid the ring onto his finger.

Justin took the larger one from Brian and did the same. “It doesn’t change anything.” He said, kissing Brian deeply.

“Okay.”

“I have to go back there now.”

“I know.”

Justin left first, straightening his shoulders as he always did before facing the patrons of a show, but this time he didn’t have to plaster a fake smile on his face. In fact he couldn’t have stopped smiling if someone asked him to.

Brian looked at his hand, using his thumb to stroke the back of his ring. Somehow Justin’s timing had improved, or maybe they’d just finally caught up with each other.

He headed back out to the show.

Brian was drawn to the painting he recognized immediately. It was the scarf. The other pieces were the same size, and each one was breathtaking…and for Brian, just a little bit frightening.

Justin stood next to him, and Brian resisted the urge to pull him into his arms. “These are all about me.”

Justin shook his head. “These are all about us.”

Brian looked at him

“Brian, look at them carefully.”

He stood back, trying to take each one in.

The first was simple, he knew what it was, 10,000 fags in Pittsburgh knew what it was. Eight neon bars glowed softly from the canvas.

The second was a little less clear, until he stepped further back, not even bothering to apologize to whomever he’d bumped into. It was flashes of movement and color, textures and sparkle, and in the bottom right corner, something dark and solid, and then he realized what he was looking at. This was Justin’s point of view of the prom, of their dance. This is what Justin saw over his shoulder as he held him in his arms and spun him around the dance floor. Brian finished his drink and grabbed another from a passing waiter before he said anything.

When he tried to speak though he wasn’t sure what to say.

Justin was watching Brian. He ignored Ranston for the moment. He’d been dreading this. But now that the moment was here, he was hypnotized by Brian's eyes, which seemed to be changing color moment by moment.

“I didn’t know you even remembered the dance.”

“I did. I remembered all of it.”

Brian nodded and took a step towards the third painting. “Scared the shit out of me when I saw this one in the studio.”

“You’ve seen this one?”

“Not finished but yeah, that was the night you collapsed because you hadn’t eaten or slept in two days.”

Justin nodded. “I guess I forgot to lock the door. Brian it’s…”

He nodded. “I know what it is now. I didn’t know what it meant then, that’s why I was so scared.”

He moved on to the fourth. It was the loft, empty, but there was more to it than that. Brian moved forward, taking in every detail of the space that had once been so familiar to him. There was a broken violin where the rubber plant should be. Posters scattered the floor, Stockwell posters, but others as well. The promotional flyer for the carnival, an ad for eye conics, in orange. He smiled.

“That was a rough year.”

“For us both” Justin said.

The fifth one made Brian’s fingers clench around the glass in his hand. Justin took the glass away before it shattered. Brian's fists remained clenched, his knuckles white.

It was a moment, trapped in time, ambulance and police lights flashing. A woman sitting on the ground, face covered in soot, EMT blanket wrapped around her. Just the edge of a gurney visible in the back of the ambulance, blood caught in mid drip about to hit the ground. Shadowy figures moving behind the scene, the dark smoke lightened only by the orange flash of fire. Haunted eyes and panic were visible on every face.

“Babylon.”

Justin wanted to reach out and touch Brian, to remind him that they weren’t there anymore. He hadn’t died. In fact, it might be the day Brian’s life had re-started. But he said nothing.

The sixth had been added later. Justin had planned on just the five when he started but he had felt the need to add the first sketch he’d done in the new house. It was the one he’d created while waiting for Brian to return his first night back, he’d needed to see it hanging with these others.

Brian shook his head. Purple sheets, rumpled, the blanket pushed to the side, the mattress lying on the floor. Crumpled cigarette boxes scattered around a growing pile of laundry, a single pillow. No detail was missed. The empty scotch bottle. The overflowing ashtray. They were all memorialized. The room looked forlorn. The entire scene somehow conveyed loneliness.

“What the fuck?”

“Brian, it’s us.”

“I get it, it’s moments in our life.”

Justin shook his head. It’s the moments I knew you loved me.”

Brian turned to look at him then.

“Each of these, they’re the little things, and the big, that proved that you loved me.”

“You’re not done. There’ll be more moments.”

“I know…this set will never be done.”

Brian did pull him close then, and Ranston could fuck off. He kissed Justin and felt him respond.

“I do you know. I’ve loved you, probably since that first night.”

Justin smiled. “I know. I was just waiting for you to figure it out.”

The End

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